My wishes for you,
Great start for Jan,
Love for Feb,
Peace for March,
No worries for April,
Fun for May,
Joy for June to Nov,
Happiness for Dec,
Have a lucky and wonderful 2010!
---
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
2010
Monday, December 28, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
I was tagged again.
When I first saw Nathary title, my eyes was about to pop out and I was like, “O.M.G! Are you kidding me?” Because I know after reading her facts, there will be my name she tagged. lolz So here that’s how it done....
1. I’m on my way to be 22 soon. I never accomplished anything, even on education.
2. So I don’t achieve high education. When i got chance to work, i just worked.
3. I soon turn to be 22, but there are many not-yet-grown parts of me should be overcome.
4. People said being the oldest is hard, but I love being oldest and only daughter in family. I like the feeling of responsibility.
5. But I sometimes think I deserve to be the youngest in family, and my both younger brothers should be my older brothers. They’re more thoughtful than me.
6. I promise too much. My brother told me.
7. I love mum, but most of time she worries a lot, talk a lot and care a lot. But that’s I love about her too and I know I’m going to be like her one day.
8. I love dad. I feel sorry for making him work hard to feed us. I should be the one who does this responsibility.
9. If you want to get the list of laziest people, count me in.
10. I can’t stand with smell. Both too-much-perfume smell and bad smell.
11. I don’t like waiting, and I hate myself when I keep s.o waiting.
12. I have many fears. The biggest fear is making any mistake that disappoint people I love.
13. I don’t like being tickled in annoying way.
14. I love chocolate. I love Ice cream. I love dumpling.
15. I don’t like the taste of bitter foods.
16. I prefer the cleanness of tidy room, but I hardly keep mine in tidy.
17. I’m a lousy cook, though I love and enjoy cooking.
18. I’m always interest in something I don’t know. When I know, I might leave it afterward.
19. I love reading. It’s only a good habit of me.
20. I’m clumsy and reckless. It’s a bad habit of me.
21. I always feel lucky to be loved.
22. I have impulsiveness and procrastination habit to work out.
23. I love people and I want them to love me too. But I don’t get hurt if they don’t.
24. “I believe!” is my motto.
25. If I had the chance to start everything again, I would do almost everything differently.
26. I’m such an emotional freak. When I’m happy, I’m extremely happy. When I’m sad, I’m extremely sad.
27. I hate discipline. I do hate. I hate like being told what to do and what not to.
28. But there are times I want to put rules for myself and I want to be told. But not too much or I will be like, “I don’t give a damn!”
29. I used to have big dream of going to Paris and speak French, but now I forget all French. Paris? I don’t think I ever have chance.
30. I also have a passion to become a French teacher and a pharmacist. But dream never come true. I’m always caught up with something I don’t like.
31. I love being in cool place rather than in hot place.
32. I love blanket. I love cool room and sleeping by warming myself with thick and soft blanket. I wish I could afford for air-con one day.
33. I love books. I want to have a small room full of books.
34. I addict to coffee. But I have to reduce it because of health concern.
35. When I distress, I like singing out loud and dancing like crazy alone in room.
36. I start doing thing only at last minute.
37. I never wanted to be born in rich family which my parents can provide me everything. I think it’s not a good way of living. I want to live by my own. Create something out of nothing by my own.
38. I don’t like being with mean people. I’ve had enough of them.
39. I’m bad with financial management.
40. I’m suck with direction.
41. Whenever I’m about to leave somewhere, all I need to spend time to find is KEY.
42. My bag is always full of garbage. I call it garbage bin.
43. I’m not good at holding grudge. But sometimes I do.
44. Since young, I was like a tomboy, but I knitted. And I still love knitting and yarning.
45. There are two secret passions I wish I could make it. First, learn to cook variety of recipes and second, learn to tailor dress. I want to make dress.
46. I fail at remember things. I love the moment when people start telling me like, “You know when you were....”
47. I don’t like talking much, but when I do, I talk a lot.
48. I’m not good at entertaining foreigners. I’m dumb at it.
49. But I like storyteller. I like hearing something new, amazing, sad and all.
50. Talking long hour on phone is not my thing.
51. I was told when they first met me, they said I was such a strut. As in fact, I was always too shy to talk.
52. One thing no one knows is I easily cry. Cry over sappy movies, cry over sad books, cry over little thing that hurt me.
53. Just like Nathary, There are many times, I wish I was dumb and deaf.
54. High-five Nathary, I don’t speak Prada too. lolz
55. When I’m fed up and mess up, I tend to eat a lot especially spicy food or Ice-cream.
56. People love diamonds and gold, but I prefer silver and stone. I wish I could get a set of Amethyst.
57. I love receiving gift, but I’m not good at giving . That's not fair i know. lolz
58. I tend to be too vague and indecisive.
59. I’m not smart enough, but I’m not stupid. Honestly, sometimes I like pretending to be stupid. And it become as a habit.
60. I’m not that flexible.
61. Most of time, I always analyze people I meet. But no more. I try not to analyze any situation or anyone.
62. I have absent-minded.
63. I’m a daydreamer.
64. I often have mood swings, but mostly I hold it inside.
65. I’m not a materialist. But ipod is a must.
66. I found sth about myself which is so annoying is that I barely give a simple ‘Yes’ or ‘No’. Mostly my answer is ‘Maybe’.
67. I love music. I love all kind of genres range from oldie to R&B, except Hip-Hop. Life is boring without music.
68. Secretly I like the sound of Billy Currington. So masculine.
69. I used to have this secret in mind since I was young. I wanted to find a man which has the same quality and personality as my uncle. A real man of men.
70. But I don’t mind if I can’t get someone like him. And Grandma warned me, “Don’t ever go for a mean guy! A big no-no!”
71. I quickly get annoyed, easily provoked, and become impatient very quickly.
72. I recently have this question in mind. Do people value each other people by their success, their accomplishment, their wealth, their intelligent, their ranks, their greatness and all?
73. I’m a kind of person who just allows things to happen. I am too proactive at times and at other times, I'm way too inactive. And even if I can't do something, I still feel like I should be.
74. I love lingering in the morning by watching TV while I’m drying my hairs and dressing up. And I’m now so into Cartoon again. Tom and Jerry.
75. I like spending time talking to closest ones and sharing about how our day was going. Those closest persons are my family.
76. I love when the sun goes up but I hate when the sun does down, which is why I barely leave office around 5-6pm.
77. I don’t like being a girl. I wish if I were a boy.
78. I was told I have a bad habit of gawking at attractive girls for too long. Some people used to mistake me as a lesbian.
79. Some people dream a lot. But I don’t. I dream once in a while.
80. When I sleep, I do sleep and Zzzzz till I wake up.
81. When I obsess, I do obsess.
82. When I focus on one thing, I don’t know what’s going on around me or hear a sound of anything.
83. I prefer comfortable clothes. I like Tees and Short or Knee length pants. I don’t care about the big scar on my calf. But mum and grandma don’t like it.
84. Oh but now I tend to love wearing skirt. But only skirt which attached with pants inside. lolz
85. I everyday analyze and learn from people traits and personalities. I learn a lot from certain people. But I have hard time to correct my bad.
86. I don’t have any particular ability. I secretly wish I could paint or play any specific music instrument.
87. I love singing and dancing thought I’m bad at that.
88. Sometimes I know that person somehow across the line. But I pretend to be fine. I know there’s always a certain reason behind. But everyone has their own limit.
89. Sometimes I pretend to be innocent. [High-five Nathary]
90. I’m a good listener. But I don’t prefer to listen to your brag.
91. I hate being the center of attention. But I do not like being left behind either.
92. I don’t like the feeling of being left-out.
93. I more enjoy being alone, but sometimes I need company too.
94. I now don’t drink wine even take a sip, except cocktail. Since I used to drunk once, I swore myself to god not to have any drop of it.
95. I’ve grown up with Buddha principles in mind. So I do believe Buddha.
96. When I was young, Grandma told me to pray and salute the pillow before sleeping. I’ve been practiced that way long after we moved out the old house, I never. But now I start practicing again.
97. There are conservative sides of me. For instance, I don’t interest in being relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend before getting married.
98. But there are times I want to fall in love. I want to feel the feeling of falling in love once in my life.
99. For me, everything is nothing, but nothing is everything.
100. I’m Panharath and these 100 facts are about me. Thank for reading and sorry if this very long facts make your eyes hurt. lolz
I don't know who I should Tag. If I tag Nathary, Jessica and Kelly, they must do another 100 facts again! lolzzz
--
Merry Christmas Y'all!
--
1. I’m on my way to be 22 soon. I never accomplished anything, even on education.
2. So I don’t achieve high education. When i got chance to work, i just worked.
3. I soon turn to be 22, but there are many not-yet-grown parts of me should be overcome.
4. People said being the oldest is hard, but I love being oldest and only daughter in family. I like the feeling of responsibility.
5. But I sometimes think I deserve to be the youngest in family, and my both younger brothers should be my older brothers. They’re more thoughtful than me.
6. I promise too much. My brother told me.
7. I love mum, but most of time she worries a lot, talk a lot and care a lot. But that’s I love about her too and I know I’m going to be like her one day.
8. I love dad. I feel sorry for making him work hard to feed us. I should be the one who does this responsibility.
9. If you want to get the list of laziest people, count me in.
10. I can’t stand with smell. Both too-much-perfume smell and bad smell.
11. I don’t like waiting, and I hate myself when I keep s.o waiting.
12. I have many fears. The biggest fear is making any mistake that disappoint people I love.
13. I don’t like being tickled in annoying way.
14. I love chocolate. I love Ice cream. I love dumpling.
15. I don’t like the taste of bitter foods.
16. I prefer the cleanness of tidy room, but I hardly keep mine in tidy.
17. I’m a lousy cook, though I love and enjoy cooking.
18. I’m always interest in something I don’t know. When I know, I might leave it afterward.
19. I love reading. It’s only a good habit of me.
20. I’m clumsy and reckless. It’s a bad habit of me.
21. I always feel lucky to be loved.
22. I have impulsiveness and procrastination habit to work out.
23. I love people and I want them to love me too. But I don’t get hurt if they don’t.
24. “I believe!” is my motto.
25. If I had the chance to start everything again, I would do almost everything differently.
26. I’m such an emotional freak. When I’m happy, I’m extremely happy. When I’m sad, I’m extremely sad.
27. I hate discipline. I do hate. I hate like being told what to do and what not to.
28. But there are times I want to put rules for myself and I want to be told. But not too much or I will be like, “I don’t give a damn!”
29. I used to have big dream of going to Paris and speak French, but now I forget all French. Paris? I don’t think I ever have chance.
30. I also have a passion to become a French teacher and a pharmacist. But dream never come true. I’m always caught up with something I don’t like.
31. I love being in cool place rather than in hot place.
32. I love blanket. I love cool room and sleeping by warming myself with thick and soft blanket. I wish I could afford for air-con one day.
33. I love books. I want to have a small room full of books.
34. I addict to coffee. But I have to reduce it because of health concern.
35. When I distress, I like singing out loud and dancing like crazy alone in room.
36. I start doing thing only at last minute.
37. I never wanted to be born in rich family which my parents can provide me everything. I think it’s not a good way of living. I want to live by my own. Create something out of nothing by my own.
38. I don’t like being with mean people. I’ve had enough of them.
39. I’m bad with financial management.
40. I’m suck with direction.
41. Whenever I’m about to leave somewhere, all I need to spend time to find is KEY.
42. My bag is always full of garbage. I call it garbage bin.
43. I’m not good at holding grudge. But sometimes I do.
44. Since young, I was like a tomboy, but I knitted. And I still love knitting and yarning.
45. There are two secret passions I wish I could make it. First, learn to cook variety of recipes and second, learn to tailor dress. I want to make dress.
46. I fail at remember things. I love the moment when people start telling me like, “You know when you were....”
47. I don’t like talking much, but when I do, I talk a lot.
48. I’m not good at entertaining foreigners. I’m dumb at it.
49. But I like storyteller. I like hearing something new, amazing, sad and all.
50. Talking long hour on phone is not my thing.
51. I was told when they first met me, they said I was such a strut. As in fact, I was always too shy to talk.
52. One thing no one knows is I easily cry. Cry over sappy movies, cry over sad books, cry over little thing that hurt me.
53. Just like Nathary, There are many times, I wish I was dumb and deaf.
54. High-five Nathary, I don’t speak Prada too. lolz
55. When I’m fed up and mess up, I tend to eat a lot especially spicy food or Ice-cream.
56. People love diamonds and gold, but I prefer silver and stone. I wish I could get a set of Amethyst.
57. I love receiving gift, but I’m not good at giving . That's not fair i know. lolz
58. I tend to be too vague and indecisive.
59. I’m not smart enough, but I’m not stupid. Honestly, sometimes I like pretending to be stupid. And it become as a habit.
60. I’m not that flexible.
61. Most of time, I always analyze people I meet. But no more. I try not to analyze any situation or anyone.
62. I have absent-minded.
63. I’m a daydreamer.
64. I often have mood swings, but mostly I hold it inside.
65. I’m not a materialist. But ipod is a must.
66. I found sth about myself which is so annoying is that I barely give a simple ‘Yes’ or ‘No’. Mostly my answer is ‘Maybe’.
67. I love music. I love all kind of genres range from oldie to R&B, except Hip-Hop. Life is boring without music.
68. Secretly I like the sound of Billy Currington. So masculine.
69. I used to have this secret in mind since I was young. I wanted to find a man which has the same quality and personality as my uncle. A real man of men.
70. But I don’t mind if I can’t get someone like him. And Grandma warned me, “Don’t ever go for a mean guy! A big no-no!”
71. I quickly get annoyed, easily provoked, and become impatient very quickly.
72. I recently have this question in mind. Do people value each other people by their success, their accomplishment, their wealth, their intelligent, their ranks, their greatness and all?
73. I’m a kind of person who just allows things to happen. I am too proactive at times and at other times, I'm way too inactive. And even if I can't do something, I still feel like I should be.
74. I love lingering in the morning by watching TV while I’m drying my hairs and dressing up. And I’m now so into Cartoon again. Tom and Jerry.
75. I like spending time talking to closest ones and sharing about how our day was going. Those closest persons are my family.
76. I love when the sun goes up but I hate when the sun does down, which is why I barely leave office around 5-6pm.
77. I don’t like being a girl. I wish if I were a boy.
78. I was told I have a bad habit of gawking at attractive girls for too long. Some people used to mistake me as a lesbian.
79. Some people dream a lot. But I don’t. I dream once in a while.
80. When I sleep, I do sleep and Zzzzz till I wake up.
81. When I obsess, I do obsess.
82. When I focus on one thing, I don’t know what’s going on around me or hear a sound of anything.
83. I prefer comfortable clothes. I like Tees and Short or Knee length pants. I don’t care about the big scar on my calf. But mum and grandma don’t like it.
84. Oh but now I tend to love wearing skirt. But only skirt which attached with pants inside. lolz
85. I everyday analyze and learn from people traits and personalities. I learn a lot from certain people. But I have hard time to correct my bad.
86. I don’t have any particular ability. I secretly wish I could paint or play any specific music instrument.
87. I love singing and dancing thought I’m bad at that.
88. Sometimes I know that person somehow across the line. But I pretend to be fine. I know there’s always a certain reason behind. But everyone has their own limit.
89. Sometimes I pretend to be innocent. [High-five Nathary]
90. I’m a good listener. But I don’t prefer to listen to your brag.
91. I hate being the center of attention. But I do not like being left behind either.
92. I don’t like the feeling of being left-out.
93. I more enjoy being alone, but sometimes I need company too.
94. I now don’t drink wine even take a sip, except cocktail. Since I used to drunk once, I swore myself to god not to have any drop of it.
95. I’ve grown up with Buddha principles in mind. So I do believe Buddha.
96. When I was young, Grandma told me to pray and salute the pillow before sleeping. I’ve been practiced that way long after we moved out the old house, I never. But now I start practicing again.
97. There are conservative sides of me. For instance, I don’t interest in being relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend before getting married.
98. But there are times I want to fall in love. I want to feel the feeling of falling in love once in my life.
99. For me, everything is nothing, but nothing is everything.
100. I’m Panharath and these 100 facts are about me. Thank for reading and sorry if this very long facts make your eyes hurt. lolz
I don't know who I should Tag. If I tag Nathary, Jessica and Kelly, they must do another 100 facts again! lolzzz
--
Merry Christmas Y'all!
--
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
End
I’m not entirely sure what’s going on around, but I think I don’t let that bother me too much. Just a very short period of time, I let those bewilderments get my head stuck in the clouds. How long will it takes to set me back? I duno.
This year kick off with a great start by giving me such great joys, but it ends up with a very painful experience with a lot of mistakes.
So new year is coming, I’m also one of those who think about New Year resolutions…
The first thing I can think of right now is on my daily basis which is self-improvement.
Isn’t it everyone’s obsession?
And the next thing is learn to keep my mouth shut.
Not to spill a thing. Learn to keep it inside.
Btw, I wish I could make everything up again.
Wish is just a wish.
Oh, what are the places for people to go on Christmas with pals? I want to go somewhere WILD.
And where should I go for family gathering? I’ve had it in mind. I should bring them out once. At least it’s the end of the year and plus, it’s my youngest brother birthday.
Plan is always changed. And I’ll see.
---
This year kick off with a great start by giving me such great joys, but it ends up with a very painful experience with a lot of mistakes.
So new year is coming, I’m also one of those who think about New Year resolutions…
The first thing I can think of right now is on my daily basis which is self-improvement.
Isn’t it everyone’s obsession?
And the next thing is learn to keep my mouth shut.
Not to spill a thing. Learn to keep it inside.
Btw, I wish I could make everything up again.
Wish is just a wish.
Oh, what are the places for people to go on Christmas with pals? I want to go somewhere WILD.
And where should I go for family gathering? I’ve had it in mind. I should bring them out once. At least it’s the end of the year and plus, it’s my youngest brother birthday.
Plan is always changed. And I’ll see.
---
Monday, December 21, 2009
I talk to...
I talked to him, he said “Don’t lose yourself! Don’t lose faith! Don’t lose hope!”
I talked to her, she said "I wanna go back home! I want to have personal time!"
I talked to him, he said "I love her!"
I talked to her, she said “He and me had decided to get married next year!”
I talked to other him, he said “I miss you. When can we go out sometimes?”
I talked to other her, she said “Now I’m single and available.”
I talked to another him, he said “Dud, are you alive?”
I talked to another her, she said “Don’t quit! Be yourself!”
I talked to another him, he said “Where’s your old self?”
I talked to another her, she said “Only you who can decide!”
I talked to another him, he said “You’re less talkative. Or you don’t want to talk at all?”
I talked to another her, she said “Oh shut up! You’re so talkative. Queen of Babble!”
I talked to myself, I said, "DAMN ME!"
--
I talked to her, she said "I wanna go back home! I want to have personal time!"
I talked to him, he said "I love her!"
I talked to her, she said “He and me had decided to get married next year!”
I talked to other him, he said “I miss you. When can we go out sometimes?”
I talked to other her, she said “Now I’m single and available.”
I talked to another him, he said “Dud, are you alive?”
I talked to another her, she said “Don’t quit! Be yourself!”
I talked to another him, he said “Where’s your old self?”
I talked to another her, she said “Only you who can decide!”
I talked to another him, he said “You’re less talkative. Or you don’t want to talk at all?”
I talked to another her, she said “Oh shut up! You’re so talkative. Queen of Babble!”
I talked to myself, I said, "DAMN ME!"
--
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Hope abides; therefore I abide...
..... Countless frustrations have not cowed me.
I am still alive, vibrant with life.
I believe and still believe that,
the black cloud will disappear,
The morning sun will appear once again
In all its supernal glory.
- Author Unknown
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Being in Dec
All friends and people I love are born in December.
All inspired thought come through my head in December.
Think I have too much update recently. But who cares? I just want to write as I got nothing much to do. So I now try to come up with something to do, which I don’t know now, or maybe a little while later, I will figure out, hopefully.
It’s utterly restless when I don’t have something to keep myself busy, besides reading book and e-book. It’s not an easy feeling when you live your everyday doing nothing like this. That's suck.
But I have plenty of times to have a lot of talk with my family. Isn’t it nice? At home, there’s a load of thoughts pop up in mind and we do talk a lot about career-education-finance and marriage. Oh yes, marriage. It’s such a heat topic in my family forum now. HEAT.
I think I'm so alone after all. I thought I'm not. But no. Not anymore. Or is this just what stirring inside me? I don't know. I don't put this blame to people I care. I think it's all happening inside of me. The within battle.
But I'm really tired of listening to people. I wish I was a deaf. So we don't need to do listening things. And what If I cannot speak at all? So that I don't need to do talking thing. So that I can keep my big mouth shut. Not to spill any secret. Not to talk too much and all. And all I have to do, perhaps, is writing letters. You know, as far as I think, non-verbal communication might does the best job of expressing.
Okay, I guess I need a correspondent now who I can write to and who is good at keeping secrets. lolzz Isn't it nice if we have someone we can write letter back and forth?
Btw, I have number of books I tempt to finish and sure enough I can’t finish by the end of this December. Maybe because they’re mostly E-books. No afford for paper books. lolz. Suck.
Oh, there's two books which are highly recommended which I'm currently reading.
---
All inspired thought come through my head in December.
Think I have too much update recently. But who cares? I just want to write as I got nothing much to do. So I now try to come up with something to do, which I don’t know now, or maybe a little while later, I will figure out, hopefully.
It’s utterly restless when I don’t have something to keep myself busy, besides reading book and e-book. It’s not an easy feeling when you live your everyday doing nothing like this. That's suck.
But I have plenty of times to have a lot of talk with my family. Isn’t it nice? At home, there’s a load of thoughts pop up in mind and we do talk a lot about career-education-finance and marriage. Oh yes, marriage. It’s such a heat topic in my family forum now. HEAT.
I think I'm so alone after all. I thought I'm not. But no. Not anymore. Or is this just what stirring inside me? I don't know. I don't put this blame to people I care. I think it's all happening inside of me. The within battle.
But I'm really tired of listening to people. I wish I was a deaf. So we don't need to do listening things. And what If I cannot speak at all? So that I don't need to do talking thing. So that I can keep my big mouth shut. Not to spill any secret. Not to talk too much and all. And all I have to do, perhaps, is writing letters. You know, as far as I think, non-verbal communication might does the best job of expressing.
Okay, I guess I need a correspondent now who I can write to and who is good at keeping secrets. lolzz Isn't it nice if we have someone we can write letter back and forth?
Btw, I have number of books I tempt to finish and sure enough I can’t finish by the end of this December. Maybe because they’re mostly E-books. No afford for paper books. lolz. Suck.
Oh, there's two books which are highly recommended which I'm currently reading.
1- Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
2- Secret About Life by Barbara De Angelis
---
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Twilight
Everyone love Twilight. Except me. Not that I don't like, but I haven't yet read.
But several days ago, I was really curious about Twilight.
So I've been doing some search through Google and read the first chapter on the official website, thinking I'm into it now. I've called Nathary to ask her if I can get the books somewhere, but forget it, it costs at least more than $50 for 4 books at Monument book shop. So I do some search again for ebooks, though I don't like the idea of reading with pc or laptop.
But luckily, I got it by accident the link of Twilight saga from a site I forget the link. hehehe... I think I might have to read ebook this time. But still I'm thinking of buying paper books also. Maybe when if I can afford. lolz
Here I share the link to anyone who wants the ebook of Twilight by clicking on these images below.
But several days ago, I was really curious about Twilight.
So I've been doing some search through Google and read the first chapter on the official website, thinking I'm into it now. I've called Nathary to ask her if I can get the books somewhere, but forget it, it costs at least more than $50 for 4 books at Monument book shop. So I do some search again for ebooks, though I don't like the idea of reading with pc or laptop.
But luckily, I got it by accident the link of Twilight saga from a site I forget the link. hehehe... I think I might have to read ebook this time. But still I'm thinking of buying paper books also. Maybe when if I can afford. lolz
Here I share the link to anyone who wants the ebook of Twilight by clicking on these images below.
- Twilight
- New Moon
- Eclipse
- Breaking Dawn
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
December
---
Hihihi December!
You know what it comes to my mind knowing it’s December? Yeah, Alvin and The Chipmunks song suddenly pop up in my head, “Christmas Christmas time is near, time for joy and time for cheer!...” Okay, not that I’m into Christmas-thingy nor I’m a Christian, but just I used to have fun on Christmas last two year. And what I know about the true meaning of Christmas is time for LOVE.
Okay, that’s enough about Christmas.
I love December anyway.
Not because it’s great month of all. No. Just that December has constantly been a recovering month, or at least, to put it more correctly, it’s a month of struggling. Like last 2 years, I was in the middle of painful situation and trouble which I had to choose whether to give up or go for it, but then everything is fine when I end it by giving up. The reason? I don’t want to be a burden on someone’s life. I was told, "Don't quit. You have wasted a lot of time and energy for it." But no, I finally chose to quit! And here I am! In middle of other trouble.
I suddenly realized, "Oh well, trouble has no its end!"
Last year, I’ve also learned another inch to become a human being. And this year, yep, I think I’ve grown another inch and figured out a ton of things as well as a lot of mistake I made which I have to look at and correct. Well, at least, isn’t it for the best I can be as a human being, though I don’t like the progress at all. But I honor them anyway.
On top of that, I learn a lot from people. All the negative points I noticed and I try to balance myself not to be like one, while I’m having many to be figured out. It’s not that easy to scan our mistakes or any negative points of ourselves every minute. We can’t be imperfect. We really can’t. But I’m just restless. I just want everything fine. But it’s not as what I thought. Is it wrong to view this world in good way? I was told I’m too much to see this world full of roses. And there’s a voice keep bugging me, “Come on, live in reality, girl! Not in your own world!”
Well, whatever!
So now, I’m utterly inspired by a book, but still haven’t finished yet. A book which help me prepare to lift my spiritual growth. People seek how to develop their power their fame their popularity as I’m seeking to grow my spirit to be happy within myself, to avoid all suffering. Okay, I can’t be like Buddha after all. But at least, to save me from a number of suffering.
Like right now, I’m still in suffering! No, I’m actually recovering. Though I don’t have a chance to clear it up. Though It’s such a mess. But at least, it's not that tense. But I know everything can't be back like it was. A great bond of sisterhood.
Well, whatever! I won't go into the detail.
But I've committed myself to pretend that all is fine. How did I get on? Did everything that wasn't fine, suddenly become fine, just through the strength of pretense? I thought sometimes when we draw a veil over an issue that we would prefer not to look at or think about, we store up trouble for later. Sometimes too, though, we simply save ourselves from a lot of unnecessary worry. If we have been easily able to ignore a situation, the chances are that we are safe to leave it a while longer. If not, we had best look at it again.
Still, there’s something I learn from this situation. Learn to be patient. Learn to pretend. Learn to remain myself. Moreover, Learn from that certain person that I won’t take everything as assumption, I won’t try to analyze someone or any situation, I will still keep the thought that there’s always a certain reason behind everything. Okay, I still keep my positive thought.
So people come to your life to teach you something. And here, a phrase I keep on my mobile display every time:
It's a good way to keep myself in control. At least, for me.
So..
By the way, Happy Birthday to J.Nha
To an old woman who is such a dear sister to me. lolz
To her who barely talk her heart out, but I see her wear her heart upon her sleeve.
To her who I rarely have time for her, and her who doesn't even have time for me, but we run to each other when we have trouble.
To her who has a really good heart for everyone.
To her whom we have such memory together.
To her who I love.
All well-wishing go to you J.Nha. Hope your dream are fulfilled. But don't forget me or you will die!
Hihihi December!
You know what it comes to my mind knowing it’s December? Yeah, Alvin and The Chipmunks song suddenly pop up in my head, “Christmas Christmas time is near, time for joy and time for cheer!...” Okay, not that I’m into Christmas-thingy nor I’m a Christian, but just I used to have fun on Christmas last two year. And what I know about the true meaning of Christmas is time for LOVE.
Okay, that’s enough about Christmas.
I love December anyway.
Not because it’s great month of all. No. Just that December has constantly been a recovering month, or at least, to put it more correctly, it’s a month of struggling. Like last 2 years, I was in the middle of painful situation and trouble which I had to choose whether to give up or go for it, but then everything is fine when I end it by giving up. The reason? I don’t want to be a burden on someone’s life. I was told, "Don't quit. You have wasted a lot of time and energy for it." But no, I finally chose to quit! And here I am! In middle of other trouble.
I suddenly realized, "Oh well, trouble has no its end!"
Last year, I’ve also learned another inch to become a human being. And this year, yep, I think I’ve grown another inch and figured out a ton of things as well as a lot of mistake I made which I have to look at and correct. Well, at least, isn’t it for the best I can be as a human being, though I don’t like the progress at all. But I honor them anyway.
On top of that, I learn a lot from people. All the negative points I noticed and I try to balance myself not to be like one, while I’m having many to be figured out. It’s not that easy to scan our mistakes or any negative points of ourselves every minute. We can’t be imperfect. We really can’t. But I’m just restless. I just want everything fine. But it’s not as what I thought. Is it wrong to view this world in good way? I was told I’m too much to see this world full of roses. And there’s a voice keep bugging me, “Come on, live in reality, girl! Not in your own world!”
Well, whatever!
So now, I’m utterly inspired by a book, but still haven’t finished yet. A book which help me prepare to lift my spiritual growth. People seek how to develop their power their fame their popularity as I’m seeking to grow my spirit to be happy within myself, to avoid all suffering. Okay, I can’t be like Buddha after all. But at least, to save me from a number of suffering.
Like right now, I’m still in suffering! No, I’m actually recovering. Though I don’t have a chance to clear it up. Though It’s such a mess. But at least, it's not that tense. But I know everything can't be back like it was. A great bond of sisterhood.
Well, whatever! I won't go into the detail.
But I've committed myself to pretend that all is fine. How did I get on? Did everything that wasn't fine, suddenly become fine, just through the strength of pretense? I thought sometimes when we draw a veil over an issue that we would prefer not to look at or think about, we store up trouble for later. Sometimes too, though, we simply save ourselves from a lot of unnecessary worry. If we have been easily able to ignore a situation, the chances are that we are safe to leave it a while longer. If not, we had best look at it again.
Still, there’s something I learn from this situation. Learn to be patient. Learn to pretend. Learn to remain myself. Moreover, Learn from that certain person that I won’t take everything as assumption, I won’t try to analyze someone or any situation, I will still keep the thought that there’s always a certain reason behind everything. Okay, I still keep my positive thought.
So people come to your life to teach you something. And here, a phrase I keep on my mobile display every time:
“What has this person been sent to teach me? What quality am I lacking in this moment that is making me suffer? Patience? Tolerance? Or else? Ok, I don’t have to react. I can remain centered.”Don't you think it's nice to remember?
It's a good way to keep myself in control. At least, for me.
So..
By the way, Happy Birthday to J.Nha
To an old woman who is such a dear sister to me. lolz
To her who barely talk her heart out, but I see her wear her heart upon her sleeve.
To her who I rarely have time for her, and her who doesn't even have time for me, but we run to each other when we have trouble.
To her who has a really good heart for everyone.
To her whom we have such memory together.
To her who I love.
All well-wishing go to you J.Nha. Hope your dream are fulfilled. But don't forget me or you will die!
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Storm one minute but blue sky's the next.
Several days ago, I was tense, I was worried, I was stress, I was afraid I might have another big storm big clash again. If it had ever happened once again, I might be a dead meat right now, but thank God, we could make it in the end.
Well, that’s the day of a storm one minute but blue sky's the next.
So here some pictures of the team for a launching party. Ok, I have to say thank to Danny who helps me with the speech and program flow at last minute.
That’s the day of Bong Mab’s birthday. Our December guy.
Bong Ny and I got a jean for him. So sad that we don’t have birthday cake for him from Daily Shop in InterCon as we planned. Why? Because we had no time to go down and buy one. But no, the major reason is we run out of money. lolz
So...
Happy Birthday to Bong Mab.
To him who is calm as a lake.
To him who is good at putting up with things.
To him who is an understanding one.
To him who I hardly believe he’s that easy and comfortable one ever exist in this world.
To him, for the best and worst, I can be opened to.
To him, who is a trustful one.
To him who I much consider as a brother as well as a sister.
Oh we can be twin if he had a lighter complexion. lolzz
Okay, He’s the best.
And all the best wishes to him.
Well, that’s the day of a storm one minute but blue sky's the next.
So here some pictures of the team for a launching party. Ok, I have to say thank to Danny who helps me with the speech and program flow at last minute.
That’s the day of Bong Mab’s birthday. Our December guy.
Bong Ny and I got a jean for him. So sad that we don’t have birthday cake for him from Daily Shop in InterCon as we planned. Why? Because we had no time to go down and buy one. But no, the major reason is we run out of money. lolz
So...
Happy Birthday to Bong Mab.
To him who is calm as a lake.
To him who is good at putting up with things.
To him who is an understanding one.
To him who I hardly believe he’s that easy and comfortable one ever exist in this world.
To him, for the best and worst, I can be opened to.
To him, who is a trustful one.
To him who I much consider as a brother as well as a sister.
Oh we can be twin if he had a lighter complexion. lolzz
Okay, He’s the best.
And all the best wishes to him.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
back for blog
Think I don't have much update for two months. And now here I am, sitting and think about writing this and that again. I like to think that writing blog is like talking to an old friend. Alright, that's it.
So..... Now I'm back to home. My comfort zone. My place where I can sleep like forever. Here, this morning, I woke up, but not got up and just keep rolling back and forth on bed with top list of old music from my ipod, thinking about nothing but singing. Knowing it’s Saturday, I didn’t want to get up at all. Regardless, I felt like crying again, thinking about what had happened. Those confusing things.
I have kept asking myself, “Oh snap! Why is this happening to me? It doesn’t make sense at all! I HATE THIS” But well, I’ve chosen to make decision about where I stand on the issue, right from the start. I've chosen to do what Dad told me which is what I’ve been thinking it’s the best yet reasonable decision. I think If people or maybe life doesn’t make sense, I should try to make it sense.
I used to read a book of Barbara De Angelis which I forget the title, which, as far as I can gather, has been said, “You have to let go of something to attract something new!” And I’ve tried to let go of what I’m holding. I've stepped from the world of me, hope for better in one way or another. And yeah, I was so excited and happy about the opportunity the universe had given me, but I was pretty sure, shit will be happen. Just like what I recalled in the book, “When things are too comfortable for you and make you happy in the moment, sooner or later, things will be stirred up! And whether you decide to be surrender or resist with it, it’s your decision. ti’s what called LIFE! Challenge with it!” And well, the next thing I know, It's stirring me up. IT’S HAPPENING! And It’s a lot more than worst.
Okay, whatever, like I said above, I’ve chosen the place to stand on this issue. I can’t just think about anything right now. I can't think about starting school, because of finance crisis. I can’t just think about the relationship which I have to decide whether I should give it a chance or not. I have no focus at this NOW moment. I need more time. Being in a relationship is more than just, "Well, let's go out. let's hang out. let's this and that." No. At least, for me. It's much more than spending time together. It's more like understand, be opened, know and accept the best and wost of each other. It's more like you want to run to him when you're in trouble just like when you run to your parent. It's more like you know you have somebody to share your story and your daily life with. It's more like he will listen to you and sometimes he doesn't need to give you advice or anything when shit happen to you. Oh well!
Well, that’s how it's done. That's how I'm still single. Hahahaha
Anyway, it’s a better-than-worst day. I could feel right from the time I slept last night. I start enjoying my books again every night. like, I’ve done with “Norwegian Wood” by Haruki Murakami and now I’m on, “For One More Day” by Mitch Albom which Nathary lend it to me for months already. Hahahahahhaha Now I think about having evening out some days with Nathary again. I'll make time for it. Try to be content and enjoy life rather than just focus on that thing.
So today, right now I’m in office, and planning to go for a nice walk at Stadium to catch some fresh air this evening.
I only hope for things to be started looking up from next month. Really look forward to know what life has in store for me.
So..... Now I'm back to home. My comfort zone. My place where I can sleep like forever. Here, this morning, I woke up, but not got up and just keep rolling back and forth on bed with top list of old music from my ipod, thinking about nothing but singing. Knowing it’s Saturday, I didn’t want to get up at all. Regardless, I felt like crying again, thinking about what had happened. Those confusing things.
I have kept asking myself, “Oh snap! Why is this happening to me? It doesn’t make sense at all! I HATE THIS” But well, I’ve chosen to make decision about where I stand on the issue, right from the start. I've chosen to do what Dad told me which is what I’ve been thinking it’s the best yet reasonable decision. I think If people or maybe life doesn’t make sense, I should try to make it sense.
I used to read a book of Barbara De Angelis which I forget the title, which, as far as I can gather, has been said, “You have to let go of something to attract something new!” And I’ve tried to let go of what I’m holding. I've stepped from the world of me, hope for better in one way or another. And yeah, I was so excited and happy about the opportunity the universe had given me, but I was pretty sure, shit will be happen. Just like what I recalled in the book, “When things are too comfortable for you and make you happy in the moment, sooner or later, things will be stirred up! And whether you decide to be surrender or resist with it, it’s your decision. ti’s what called LIFE! Challenge with it!” And well, the next thing I know, It's stirring me up. IT’S HAPPENING! And It’s a lot more than worst.
Okay, whatever, like I said above, I’ve chosen the place to stand on this issue. I can’t just think about anything right now. I can't think about starting school, because of finance crisis. I can’t just think about the relationship which I have to decide whether I should give it a chance or not. I have no focus at this NOW moment. I need more time. Being in a relationship is more than just, "Well, let's go out. let's hang out. let's this and that." No. At least, for me. It's much more than spending time together. It's more like understand, be opened, know and accept the best and wost of each other. It's more like you want to run to him when you're in trouble just like when you run to your parent. It's more like you know you have somebody to share your story and your daily life with. It's more like he will listen to you and sometimes he doesn't need to give you advice or anything when shit happen to you. Oh well!
Well, that’s how it's done. That's how I'm still single. Hahahaha
Anyway, it’s a better-than-worst day. I could feel right from the time I slept last night. I start enjoying my books again every night. like, I’ve done with “Norwegian Wood” by Haruki Murakami and now I’m on, “For One More Day” by Mitch Albom which Nathary lend it to me for months already. Hahahahahhaha Now I think about having evening out some days with Nathary again. I'll make time for it. Try to be content and enjoy life rather than just focus on that thing.
So today, right now I’m in office, and planning to go for a nice walk at Stadium to catch some fresh air this evening.
I only hope for things to be started looking up from next month. Really look forward to know what life has in store for me.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
DON'T
The most important thing is not to let yourself get impatient. This is the only advice for you: DON’T GET IMPATIENT. Even if things are so tangled up, you can’t do anything, don’t get desperate or blow a fuse and start yanking on one particular thread before it’s ready to come undone. You have to realize it’s going to be a long process and that you’ll work on things slowly, one at a time.
Do you think you can do that?
Norwegian wood by Haruki Murakami
My answer: I'll TRY!
Monday, November 23, 2009
"Did you just cry?" mum asked, "huh? no way!" I said
I wish I could say "YES!"
Yes because I want to explain.
Yes because I don’t want to live in this hard feeling.
Yes because I just want to release.
Yes because I just want to escape.
Yes because I want to clear the air.
Yes because I want to be back home.
I’ve been spending my weekend at home and sleep, sleep and sleep. So that everyone won’t ask me how’s thing going, about this and that. So that I don’t spill thing out. So that I won’t become a queen of babble. So that things won't go worst than it is.
But now I’m here to face another worst day. How long will it takes?
It's a really hard feeling.
It’s just so hurtful.
I hate dealing with it.
I’ve been talking to my love ones and they said, “Dear, come back home! We’d rather having you here!” and after I hear it, all I want to do is cry, cry and cry.
I just realized that I’m such a cry baby.
And I can't believe I’ve cried for her for many times already.
She makes me high and she’s also the one who makes me low, very low.
I just don't know why she likes taking everything as assumption?
But I learn one thing for it.
Sometimes we don't need to try fixing things, we won't know how worst it's gonna turn out.
Monday, November 9, 2009
my plates, my life.
Trip to Malaysia was canceled. It's a little bit sad, but I can save a lot of money for mum. I went home today and stayed there for almost a day. I felt so great, I can say!
And, here is what I just figured out.
Sometimes, life feels like a slow, painful trek through a field of mud. Sometimes, it's a merry dance through a meadow of flowers on a warm spring day. What makes the difference? It's not money, as many a miserable millionaire will testify. It's not love, that's sometimes subject to stress. It's the existence of hope that makes us want to celebrate... and the apparent absence of it that creates despair.
And, here is what I just figured out.
Sometimes, life feels like a slow, painful trek through a field of mud. Sometimes, it's a merry dance through a meadow of flowers on a warm spring day. What makes the difference? It's not money, as many a miserable millionaire will testify. It's not love, that's sometimes subject to stress. It's the existence of hope that makes us want to celebrate... and the apparent absence of it that creates despair.
Pheak's camera Canon 40D.
One more thing which give me stress and strain is the sake of happiness.
I've been trying so hard on emotion part. And I'm tired. I feel like I'm not me at all! Because I thought I should change my life. I believed I could let go of something in order to get something new. So that I can make this life grows. But It's definitely unpleasant. And I know this is how life grows. To go through all pain endurance.
BUT, the pain I'm talking here is about missing every elements of my life.
I miss long talk about my days with mum and dad every evening when I get home. hanging out and sharing laugh with friends. riding motorbike in breezy evening with bong Ny and J.Nha. having lunch and evening out with B gang. listening to musics and reading favorite books till mid night. Having fun with bong bong at lunch and night out. Weekend of visiting uncle's home.... etc
I realized that what I'm doing the most is focusing on only one thing and forget about other things in life. Today, I just noticed that a lot of birthdays passed and I missed a lot of it. my friend's birthdays and my friend's graduations.
Isn't it elements of life we should balance and we don't want a single of them drop out like many plates we try to hold it all at once?
I definitely don't want to live alone in this world alone and leave everyone behind like this. I don't want to focus on nothing at all like this. It's unpleasant.
However, I've decided to go away from my comfort zone.
But the thing is I should learn to balance it! I don't want to drop out many plates while I'm trying to hold one. I must figure out how to maintain my life and put all my plates in order!
Okay, what I really want to whine here is I don't see I grow an inch of what I'm trying to do and... I just miss everyone.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
10 principles
1- Everything you need to be happy is inside of you.
2- The purpose of life is for you to grow into the best human being you can be.
3- Change is inevitable, so stop resisting and surrender to life's flow.
4- All obstacles are lessons in disguise-honor them and learn from them.
5- Your mind creates your experience of reality, so make your mind your friend.
6- Fear will steal your aliveness-make your courage bigger than your fear.
7- You must love yourself before you can truly give love or receive love from anyone else.
8- All relationships are your mirrors and all people are your teachers.
9- True freedom comes from how you respond to life and not what life does to you.
10- Whatever the question, love is the answer.
Secrets about life every woman should know
By: Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D.
By: Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D.
-----
When you read these 10 principals, you might be not really into it, unless you read the whole points described in this book. While you're reading it, you will think, "Oh! That's exactly me!"
Okay, it's definitely not a self-help, but it's about experience and lessons in her life and everyone's life.
I'm now on Secret # 2. It's been a hell of weeks to finish this number 2. Not because it's a very thick book, but I can read only a page per day.
And one sentence that I think it's an inspiring message is:
"Because I make a mistake doesn't meant I AM a mistake!"
Don't you think it's a wonderful phrase to remember?
Okay, it's definitely not a self-help, but it's about experience and lessons in her life and everyone's life.
I'm now on Secret # 2. It's been a hell of weeks to finish this number 2. Not because it's a very thick book, but I can read only a page per day.
And one sentence that I think it's an inspiring message is:
"Because I make a mistake doesn't meant I AM a mistake!"
Don't you think it's a wonderful phrase to remember?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Sometimes, do you have to live your life by chaining up yourself with too much questions and worries?
Questions which begin with 'how', 'where,' or 'when,' are comparatively easy to answer.Those that start with ‘why’ tends to be trickier. For every 'because' there's a 'but.' Usually, too, if you go down this road of inquiry, you find it soon leads to yet another, even bigger 'why?' Like it or not, you now have to scrutinize a bunch of reasons and 'justifications' that you normally allow yourself the luxury of taking for granted. Instead of asking 'why,' try restricting yourself to the slightly less impossible, 'why not?'
And, this is the only word I keep reminding myself.
Well, why not?
Well, why not?
I really can't see why, but I try 'giving my all' to the journey rather than holding back and being half-hearted and try putting up with everything and ready to make mistake to be better!
Because I believe as soon as I set off properly, I'll see a dramatic improvement in the scenery. And I'll also be delighted to leave all those 'ifs', 'buts' and 'maybes' so far behind.
And I know it must take long time!
Because I believe as soon as I set off properly, I'll see a dramatic improvement in the scenery. And I'll also be delighted to leave all those 'ifs', 'buts' and 'maybes' so far behind.
And I know it must take long time!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who'll decide where to go.
~Dr. Seuss
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
You know you will know
I'm writing this as I'm waiting to take a long bath after my cousin done. We've been cleaning the house for the whole evening and this time we've done with almost every room even our bedroom.
I have to admit that I've never done before. And I think of mum and grandma when I was cleaning up and doing those house chore. You know when I was doing, I think of the way they always do. I was silently amazed and realized how I feel about them. It's like I'm them. I'm growing just like them. And I'm so happy that I'm slowly growing to be them.
When I cleaned the floor, I pictured when I was little, mum, grandma, sister, brothers and I were cleaning our house together. We was actually not be helpful to mum and grandma at all. We just played, like skiing with bubble and chairs. Mum and grandma told us that when we clean, we have to clean it properly. We have to clean the edge of each brick, so that there's no rusting dirt filling up.
When I cleaned the bathroom, I pictured the way they did when I was little. It's when mum and grandma taught me how to sit on the lavatory to poo-poo (teeheee). They had to watch over and told me how to hold and all the jazz. While I was doing the loo, they always clean and scrubbed and polished every edge of stuffs in bathroom and they started to tell me how to clean it again. I didn't really pay attention to what they said, but I just watched and I was like, "Oh yes!" and they said, "Well, you know you will know when you grow up!".
But when I was in high school, I never did any house chore, even washing my own plate. And mum and grandma was worried about how I will become a lady without knowing a thing about doing house chore. And I didn't care. They kept up on me about this thing and I was like, "Well, believe me I'm only like this when I'm with you! When I'm away, I can do everything by my own" and they said, "Really? you know it's called a habit. A bad habit and a bad habit can get better than rule!" And I was like, "No. I believe my bad habit can't always get the better of me! In some degree! hehe!"
Now, I really can do a bit better. I know mum and grandma will be happy if they know I put my effort to do house chore and cook and of course I enjoy doing it. It's like when I'm on my own, I can be more better than I was with what a lady should do.
What I always remember is when mum and grandma always say, "You know you will know when you grow up!"
And I miss them so much now.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
In the hope to meet, shortly again, and make our absence sweet.
I've never visited home for more than a week, I guess. Pa often pays me visit for, like, 3 times already. I love whenever he's about to leave, he always tap my head and said 'I'm going, so take care yourself'. That's so sweet of him.
And Mum called the other day, the day I sent her my food, Jab Chhay, I first made with my cousin via my brother. She said it's nice though it's a little bit salty and she asked me to describe how I made it. And I know she's happy and I'm sure Mum, Dad and Grandma will eat all my Jab Chhay. And I'm more pretty sure that we'll talk about it again when I visit home.
Talk about home, when I work, do some tiny house chores and cook, I always think of mum. I just realized how hard it is to be a mum. What I do everyday is nothing compare to what she does everyday.
You know when you cook and wait for your favorite people to come and expect them to eat and say, 'Ummmm it's nice. I love it!'. Just like I picture when Mum cooks and expect us to come home early and admire the foods she cooks. It's such a depress when the foods we put our effort to make is nothing to your beloved people.
You know when you do all the house works and think of her. You know it. You feel it. It's not that easy for being a Mum.
But, after all, whenever I'm near her, I become her very lazy and messy daughter again. I can't never be on my own having her with me. I hate myself for this point, utterly.
Anyway,
There are impossible things I really want.
1- Finish the books I'm reading. But it's impossible.
2- I want to have another novel, Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding.
3- I want this POGO instant digital camera.
And I don't know how to get it.
And Mum called the other day, the day I sent her my food, Jab Chhay, I first made with my cousin via my brother. She said it's nice though it's a little bit salty and she asked me to describe how I made it. And I know she's happy and I'm sure Mum, Dad and Grandma will eat all my Jab Chhay. And I'm more pretty sure that we'll talk about it again when I visit home.
Talk about home, when I work, do some tiny house chores and cook, I always think of mum. I just realized how hard it is to be a mum. What I do everyday is nothing compare to what she does everyday.
You know when you cook and wait for your favorite people to come and expect them to eat and say, 'Ummmm it's nice. I love it!'. Just like I picture when Mum cooks and expect us to come home early and admire the foods she cooks. It's such a depress when the foods we put our effort to make is nothing to your beloved people.
You know when you do all the house works and think of her. You know it. You feel it. It's not that easy for being a Mum.
But, after all, whenever I'm near her, I become her very lazy and messy daughter again. I can't never be on my own having her with me. I hate myself for this point, utterly.
Anyway,
There are impossible things I really want.
1- Finish the books I'm reading. But it's impossible.
2- I want to have another novel, Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding.
3- I want this POGO instant digital camera.
And I don't know how to get it.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Hell Yeah Holiday
I'm now a homesick. Really homesick. I wanna stay in Pa and Mom room and talk talk talk. I wanna lie in my bed reading my book every night. I wanna to mess up and clean my tiny room.
I wanna feel my home.
At least, I went home and went to pagodas and went to visit my uncle's home during Pchum Ben.
I wanna feel my home.
At least, I went home and went to pagodas and went to visit my uncle's home during Pchum Ben.
Dad again called a moment ago. He asked if I can go home this evening. I've been talking to him for minutes and I feel like I'm away from him for months.
I recalled about the other day that I went home to bring some more clothes and when I just got there, Dad; Mum; Grandma and my both brothers run to the door to see me as though I've been away from home to other country for month, in fact, I've just never slept at home for 3 days. Then I stayed home for 1-2 hours after I packed my stuffs. Dad asked, "Why don't you sleep here tonight?" I said, "No, I can't. Ehehehe do you miss me?" I raised my eyebrows and stretch a smile and mum & dad laughed.
I recalled about the other day that I went home to bring some more clothes and when I just got there, Dad; Mum; Grandma and my both brothers run to the door to see me as though I've been away from home to other country for month, in fact, I've just never slept at home for 3 days. Then I stayed home for 1-2 hours after I packed my stuffs. Dad asked, "Why don't you sleep here tonight?" I said, "No, I can't. Ehehehe do you miss me?" I raised my eyebrows and stretch a smile and mum & dad laughed.
- Dad: "How are you?"
- Me: "I'm okay! Just feel headache cuz I slept around 3am last night and have not yet had lunch! We've just done. Now Jeje is on meeting!"
- Dad: "Why you guys sleep late?"
- Me: "Oh I helped JeJe to do her Consumer insight since yesterday!"
- Dad: "Then how's your eyes? Come and eat at home this evening!"
- Me: "Oh it's okay. We have a lot of works to do!"
- Dad: "Let's go to doctor tomorrow!"
- Me: "No, I'm fine here."
- Dad: "Go go. And you come home tomorrow Okay?"
- Me: "Okay, let's see."
- Dad: "Okay, take care then." [Speak in English]
- Me: "Hehehehehe you miss me?"
---
And that's a very very and very good end of today!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Grateful
There are times I feel so, so and so grateful.
You have gone all up high just because all the hidden compliments you got for being who you are, for being what you are, for having your own sense of ability, especially from old people.
You're looking for more... to learn more, to try more, to live more, to build more confidence, to be more humble, to be more responsible.
There are people who look up to you and there are people who you look up to.
You're looking for more... to learn more, to try more, to live more, to build more confidence, to be more humble, to be more responsible.
There are people who look up to you and there are people who you look up to.
Unconfident, Uncertain, Fear and Let it go.
It’s been another same old same old week.
Take a quick run on and off.
On and Off.
On and Off.
Like crazy.
Sleepy and LAZY and Tired. Mostly Lazy.
I wonder how our hectic months to come will be.
More Tired, Sleepy and LAZY?
I'm not gonna care about it.
Take a quick run on and off.
On and Off.
On and Off.
Like crazy.
Sleepy and LAZY and Tired. Mostly Lazy.
I wonder how our hectic months to come will be.
More Tired, Sleepy and LAZY?
I'm not gonna care about it.
I recently don’t really think much about future like I always do, but past. Mostly about people I don’t want to lose, but lost. Anyone who comes to my life. That's all because I always let it goes this way. And that become as a habit.
I think my mind is really complicated and I made things more complicated. I feel sorry, but there’s no other way I can do. Because of Fear and I let it go. I know I always turn away from something I want. I hate when I feel uncertain about something, when I fear about something, when I feel insecure about something, when my head and my heart are on fight.
I don't know why I always refuse to go for it, refuse to see it with heart, refuse to acknowledge different angles in this respect. Suffice to say that I'm not confident enough. My thoughts always take a heavy turn and I know I only see a part of the picture.
I can't stop considering this complex problem, recently, to be exact. I'm trying to sort out my beliefs and feelings from rational answers, but I'm finding myself more confused the longer I sort it out. I'm always somewhat biased here. So try getting another opinion before I make a move I will regret. And I know that there's no point in my trying to be, for example, such a rational scientist when at heart I'm really passionate artist.
Okay, now breath and let it go.
Back to think about career path.
Shake all the hyper-thought away.
Breath hard.
Breath harder. Harder. HARDER.
I'm not gonna think about it again.
I'm not gonna sort it out again.
--until l I have to.
I think my mind is really complicated and I made things more complicated. I feel sorry, but there’s no other way I can do. Because of Fear and I let it go. I know I always turn away from something I want. I hate when I feel uncertain about something, when I fear about something, when I feel insecure about something, when my head and my heart are on fight.
I don't know why I always refuse to go for it, refuse to see it with heart, refuse to acknowledge different angles in this respect. Suffice to say that I'm not confident enough. My thoughts always take a heavy turn and I know I only see a part of the picture.
I can't stop considering this complex problem, recently, to be exact. I'm trying to sort out my beliefs and feelings from rational answers, but I'm finding myself more confused the longer I sort it out. I'm always somewhat biased here. So try getting another opinion before I make a move I will regret. And I know that there's no point in my trying to be, for example, such a rational scientist when at heart I'm really passionate artist.
Okay, now breath and let it go.
Back to think about career path.
Shake all the hyper-thought away.
Breath hard.
Breath harder. Harder. HARDER.
I'm not gonna think about it again.
I'm not gonna sort it out again.
--until l I have to.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
After a storm comes a calm
I learn to trust my intuition now. It's so true somehow. The storm is past and I see the joy and happiness between them. It's been a very hard time.
I've been learning a lot lately. I get all the pictures and I learn things from it. I learn to balance my thought. I want to be able to carry myself very well while I'm growing. It's not that easy.
I've been learning a lot lately. I get all the pictures and I learn things from it. I learn to balance my thought. I want to be able to carry myself very well while I'm growing. It's not that easy.
Taken at Belami by Bong Mab's Camera. Canon D50
I think I look funny in this bang which I cut by myself. Haha. Cannot help since I'm so broke and don't even have enough money to go to salon. Sooo thing's gone worse when I was a bit lost by cutting my fore hair too short. Sooo okay, go for a bang then. After getting this month salary, I might go to salon to trim it proper.
Taken at Belami by Bong Mab's Camera. Canon D50
So here I love what I'm doing lately and recently. It's my pre-baby steps. Though I barely have time to stay home, esp since Pa was back. I have not yet had time to sit and have a long talk with him. I have not yet listened to the story he would tell us over lunch, dinner or when we all gather and sleep next to each other. How I love and miss this moment.
But first thing first, I want to do well in what I commit myself to do in my career path. I'm too concern about it more than everything. Some of my people might know that I want to be able to support my family in next, at least, 2 years.
But first thing first, I want to do well in what I commit myself to do in my career path. I'm too concern about it more than everything. Some of my people might know that I want to be able to support my family in next, at least, 2 years.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?"
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the dreams, wishes and future.
ones which came true,
ones which I let go,
ones which I’m waiting for,
ones which have dissolved,
ones which came out unexpectedly and differently
and ones which I’ve never imagined, but I gave up, and I didn't want to give up.
I've currently been thinking about one, and seem to be overloaded with new ideas, decisions and many things, but much to the dismay. However, I'm impatient to get started on all those things I've got lined up, but I think for best results, I must be selective.
I now think big, aim high, be the best., which I never did, which is the most I'm afraid of.
But I want what best for the long-run.
So I suddenly decided to move, to go for it, no matter what. I decided I will focus on one coming along. I don't want to give up like I ever did. I don't want to let the fear goes better of me. I know my direction now and I hope it won't be dissolved. Again.
More importantly, I'm ready to get on my feet to fall into a work-work-work mode in coming months, which is what I desperately expect and fear at the same time.
Here I am, taking my baby steps.
ones which came true,
ones which I let go,
ones which I’m waiting for,
ones which have dissolved,
ones which came out unexpectedly and differently
and ones which I’ve never imagined, but I gave up, and I didn't want to give up.
I've currently been thinking about one, and seem to be overloaded with new ideas, decisions and many things, but much to the dismay. However, I'm impatient to get started on all those things I've got lined up, but I think for best results, I must be selective.
I now think big, aim high, be the best., which I never did, which is the most I'm afraid of.
But I want what best for the long-run.
So I suddenly decided to move, to go for it, no matter what. I decided I will focus on one coming along. I don't want to give up like I ever did. I don't want to let the fear goes better of me. I know my direction now and I hope it won't be dissolved. Again.
More importantly, I'm ready to get on my feet to fall into a work-work-work mode in coming months, which is what I desperately expect and fear at the same time.
Here I am, taking my baby steps.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Take quiz to get to know yourself better
Today I post twice! Since Nathary said she will post about our first date on her blog, then I don't have to post it here. Guess I'll post one on her comment block or sth! lolz
And as well I start reading again. But maybe I try to limit the time consume just not to make the eyes gone worse. So I'm going to post the review about the books I've read recently later on.
Well, I just viewed Me&Mine and find it interesting! You also can try this quiz here!
Here is my result:
Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
It sounds like me! lolz
And as well I start reading again. But maybe I try to limit the time consume just not to make the eyes gone worse. So I'm going to post the review about the books I've read recently later on.
Well, I just viewed Me&Mine and find it interesting! You also can try this quiz here!
Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
It sounds like me! lolz
Jonathan Safran Foer Podcasts Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
You would have read some quotes of Jonathan Safran Foer in my previous post. Now I'm re-reading his book and just googled more about him. So here I come across his podcast and I feel like a hundred dollar. lolz
"I'm much more afraid of not writing something that I should be writing than failing at something that I write. "
"A good book actually can change the world. I just believe that. It makes people see things differently..”
"If a book I write gets taken off the shelf, it's not the end of the world, but if I don't write the thing that I feel I should be writing, then it is kind of the end of the world, at least for me. At least I will decide I should stop doing what I'm doing and do something else."
"That's what's good about books - their meaning doesn't belong to anybody."
"I don't have real intentions when I start to write. The accident can be fortuitous if you let them be. I don't trust my intuitions, I don't trust my abilities, but I do trust accidents, to be somebody who recognizes them."
“Somebody asked me how you would define yourself? and what I said is my book is how I define myself. It precisely how would I define myself even though I’m not like the character, even what in the book does not happen to me. The thing that I like about writing is that is it give me a good opportunity to define myself that I don’t have in my none-writing life. And I haven’t found the other way to do it. So until I found the better way to do it, it will become more important to me to define myself.”
Author of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Friday, July 31, 2009
Little bit of everything
I tend to think what we learn and how we become another person is the bit about going through something everyday. More-than-tired of not being able to overcome stacked-up things in mind, which are cryptically accumulated and leave me in limbo state, but still trying to appear as normal as possible. Life in limbo is not fun at all. This can be easily leads something unpleasant like boredom, frustration, feeling of edgy and despair. Despair!
From little bit of everything which have been through, little bit of everything in Past, little bit of uncertain things which desperately expect from Tomorrow and being here in the Now moment seeking an alternation to life in limbo. And I’m waiting for a point-arrow to show me the best way to go OR if i could have a magic compass, perhaps?
I get to think about the life-graphic Dad once mentioned about. The more I think of it, the more I'm worried. And lately, I often turn up thinking over and over again about the past. I've been rejected from what I've sacrificed for and I've blown off every opportunity that come to my way just to wait for my wanted one in quite a milestone, to be where I want to be, to get out of where I am, to make up all the things I've given up just to be here. IF only there's any warning sign to let me know if it’s not worth for waiting al all? So then, I wouldn’t wait anymore. So then I could make direction changed.
As much as I despair of what I’m waiting, as much as I’m getting sick with people, as much as I’m getting sick with this sickening-spot I’m in, I have a sudden roar-hit and tempt to fall in serious disease, so that I could take leave 1 or 2 weeks, perhaps, to get out of place I’m being, to stay and sleep at home and having mum worry and help me to take medicines and stuffs. So that I could stop feeling too much, to take a bit break, to take a step back, not to die in despair. Because I don't want to live my life in vain.
From little bit of everything I've been through, I think, growing up is not that easy.
From little bit of everything which have been through, little bit of everything in Past, little bit of uncertain things which desperately expect from Tomorrow and being here in the Now moment seeking an alternation to life in limbo. And I’m waiting for a point-arrow to show me the best way to go OR if i could have a magic compass, perhaps?
I get to think about the life-graphic Dad once mentioned about. The more I think of it, the more I'm worried. And lately, I often turn up thinking over and over again about the past. I've been rejected from what I've sacrificed for and I've blown off every opportunity that come to my way just to wait for my wanted one in quite a milestone, to be where I want to be, to get out of where I am, to make up all the things I've given up just to be here. IF only there's any warning sign to let me know if it’s not worth for waiting al all? So then, I wouldn’t wait anymore. So then I could make direction changed.
As much as I despair of what I’m waiting, as much as I’m getting sick with people, as much as I’m getting sick with this sickening-spot I’m in, I have a sudden roar-hit and tempt to fall in serious disease, so that I could take leave 1 or 2 weeks, perhaps, to get out of place I’m being, to stay and sleep at home and having mum worry and help me to take medicines and stuffs. So that I could stop feeling too much, to take a bit break, to take a step back, not to die in despair. Because I don't want to live my life in vain.
From little bit of everything I've been through, I think, growing up is not that easy.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Twenties Girl
The latest book from Sophie Kinsella. The one I used to mention about in previous post, remember?
Finally it's in my hand right now! Do I make you green with envy now? lolzz kidding!
I love receive books a gift!
Well, I can't believe I would get it. Twenties Girl is the last book I desperately added to my to-find-to-read list. But it's too expensive. Around $20 in paperback. Can you believe it? I've never bought any fiction costs more than $10 for paperback (Though mostly they are second-hands since it's hard to find the new and original copy in Cambodia). But luckily, I didn't pay for that. Ha-ha. Well, it's a big thank for my cousin who bought it for me, less-than-big-thank to Bong Pririth who tried to find and found this book and Bong Thea who helped to find.
BTW, take a fun quiz from Sophie Kinsella's Facebook:
My Result is:
You are a Modern Twenties Girl!
Comment:
You are ambitious and determined, career minded and clever. When charged with a task, you are persistent, and when faced with a problem you are resourceful and creative in finding the solution. Your approach to life may be a bit practical, but you are a hopeless romantic at heart. (Celebrate the publication of TWENTIES GIRL on July 21st by changing your profile picture to this “modern” Twenties Girl image.)
Click on this link if you interest to take this quiz too.
If you have never read one of any from Sophie Kinsella, I would suggest you girls twenties-something to grab one. It's really fun, irrepressible charm and humor to read.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
There is nothing more artistic than to truly love people
I've got these painting pictures from Lauren Nicole's blog which I found that is truly inspiring and awesome.
Well then, I have some ready-to-print bookplates to share.
Also these 3 bookplates, you can get from Helen dardik's site. Click on her name to get big resolution in her site.
When I look at these two-side of faces pictures, which I found at Matte Stephens's blog. I can't help but laugh hard at it. Maybe it reflects so much on me. Like the first one is when I'm in doom and gloom and the second one is the look when I'm at work. Ha-Ha
I really love Helen dardik and Matte Stephens's illustrations. those remind me all my lovely time and activities in bibliothèque at CCF, especially a French-English book which I learned English from.
------
I've not yet get those bookplates printed. I'm really lazy to re-install my printer. And also I've not yet get my some selected photos printed to put in album and some to stick on my blue photo's board I bought yesterday, which left in ole car, because I have the car broken down last night somewhere too far from home. My big thank to a brother who came to help me! Whenever I have trouble, not to mention everyone in family, there are only two brothers who work with me who I can think of calling for their help, esp with car and motor broken down. Because I know they will come no matter what.
You know I really love people who have a big heart, who would go out their way to help others! For men, of course, I consider it as something so be called "Gentleman". And I'm trying to make my both younger brothers to have big heart like this. That's what gentlemen do.
So, there is nothing more artistic than to truly love people. And after the verb "to Love," "to Help" is the most beautiful verb in the world.
Word for today is:
A happy life is made up of little things-a gift sent, a letter written, a call made, a recommendation given, transportation provided, a cake made, a book lent, a check sent. - Carol Holmes
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
10 RANDOM Facts tagged
Nathary tagged me about writing 10 random facts about yourself. So here it goes with my completely 10 random facts about me.
1- First of all, I’m PISCES!
You’ve already known what kind of Pisces is! It’s mostly true. And I’m one of those typical Pisces. Well, not that I know what about me by it. It’s just something about extent my horoscope and personality knowledge. I have a fickle mind and I like randomness. Not like what you can tell from my post. They’re somehow orderly and well thought out. Ha-ha. Well, Pisces like me love TRUST. It’s the best feeling in the world. You know I love it more than precious things.
2- Not a promise keeper!
My youngest brother once said to mum that, “Mum, just forget what she said! Sis never keeps her promise!” It’s a wake-up call realizing that there are many things I’ve promised and not yet made it. How careless I am! Once I promised, I forget. Not that I don’t mean to keep my words. Maybe all you need to do with me is keep following up and remind me, otherwise I just don’t remember. Truly sorry! But I like people who remember and do what they said they will. In which meant, I do hate myself for this point.
3- I don’t study much, no matter how much I love and did great with education.
I was told many times that my English is good enough and then they oohhed and aahhed and some don't believe me when I told them I stopped studying when I almost finished my Pre-Intermediate level 4 or 5 years ago and I work in a field, which doesn’t make sense at all, require at least BA in English, but until now I have not pursued my BA just yet. Reason? Too many to mention! However, giving up my BA can’t be compared with giving up my French more than 10 years ago. Voila, no regret! U know the best moment I missed the most is when I was little and there's nobody picked me at CCF and I had no money to take Cyclo taxi, but luckily, there's an old cyclo guy sent me home by allowing me to pay him back when I reached home. While we were on the way, he taught me French. By then, I told Pa I take his Cyclo everyday and I learned more french words from him everyday.
4- Talking about the bad things I do
I’m a good liar. But not with everyone I love. Not that those who I lie, I hate them or anything, but in life, you have different kind of people right? I don’t care! We lie, because we have no choice. What I meant is I can lie others, but I have big trouble of lying my people, especial everyone in family. However, I’m still not a good liar though. Well, I learned to lie when I was trained to be AE at RD. You know I remember what the best I always could do is when I accidentally answer a landlines call about sth like, for example, payment, I just simply said, “Oh sorry, our accountant is not here!” and if they asked or insist to get accountant’s number, I told them, “Oh sorry again, I’m first day work here and I don’t know anyone’s number! If possible, can I have your name or your phone number? They will return the call back” lolzzz I cheated them. Hmmppphhh
5- Not good at remembering thing
Remember in #2 I’m not a promise keeper? Yes, forgive me for being forgetful like an old lady. I don’t really remember what I’ve seen, what I’ve heard and what I’ve read. Also I’m really not a good secret keeper. I could spill it out any times. That’s why I said I can’t be a good liar in #4. But you know what, when I don’t lie, we don’t need to remember. In short, I need to boost my brain power. Any tips? OR do I need to change the memory card of my brain?
6- I don’t judge the book by cover
I don’t judge people because you never know what they’ve been through that made them become that way. Our life is different and we have different choice. Sometimes I think it’s really funny when people judge me by saying that I have a snobby face, even when I was little, I always have this same old same old comment. Well, I also don’t want people to judge me back too, especially I don’t want people quickly like me. I’d rather let them hate me first.
7- I tend to love old people
That’s because I’m locked in love of Maturity. I like people who are older than me. That’s why I only hang out with sisters and brothers and being away, not growing apart, from my peers. But there’s a thing I wonder though. When I’m with sis and bro, I’m like a immature kid, but when I’m with my peers, I’m completely an old boring woman. I can be two different person? Talking about marriage, I’d love to marry to a guy who is older than me around 9 years up to 12 years old. Well, a guy who is around 30-33. Weird? Because I love and appreciate Maturity. I strongly believe those years they’ve been through made them a man they are (Though not everyone can be mature through their age, I know!).
8- A go-with-the-flow and idealistic kind of person!
I find hard to start what I want to do and what I want. I also find it hard to finish what I start. Because my determination is not strong enough, I guess. Because I don’t like complexity. I’d rather give everything up if the things I’m doing is/become a burden to someone’s life. Because I want to live in comfort and peace. If giving sth up would make everyone relax and happy, I will do it. One thing I’m proud to say that I’m not ambitious. I'm not after fame and success and fortune and power. It's mostly that I want to have a good job, have good friends and good family. That's the good stuff in life. And yes, I have this same thing in mind like Drew Barrymore. If god give me lemon, I would love to do lemonade. I tend to go where life take me to, but I live by what I think is right and believe in what I believe and what I do.
9- Permanent things.
Those things which would remain and last for life. I burst out wanting to do those stuffs like Tattoo and Marriage. Just like Drew B. again. Because I’d love to have my beloved people’s names on my skin. I once asked a brother about his tattoo and I was willing to have a cluster of everyone’s name in family inscribed on somewhere. But it’s too painful just to hear how hard to get tattoo done and all the pros and cons, esp. I’d be considered as a gansta by people. My parents won’t let me do it though. And for marriage, I’m just like everyone. I think it’s beautiful and for life. Once I commit to marry, I don’t want divorce. Well, I tend to be picky when it comes to marriage, that’s why I’m still single. lolzz kidding. I think 21-22 is too young to get married. 28 years old up would be great and fully ready to start this permanent thing and this is what my family don’t want me to wait till that age, and honestly, their advices and reasons are also acceptable. It’s amazed by what my younger brother said, “Woman who is 26, is too old to get married already!” I think It's funny after what he said, but I don't think everyone would have the same mind like him. Okay, leave it to fate. But first thing first, I want to know what it’s like to fall in love, not the feeling I'm being loved. I want to experience this feeling once.
10- Ummm oh right, game!
I don’t like playing card, game and all that’s kind of thing. I don’t even like when I see people play it. I keep myself from playing game though it looks like fun to play, but recently, I’m addicted online game in Facebook, which is Farm Town. I’m really addicted to it. I go to check once in 3 days or so (depends on what seeds I plant) or I just hire some people in Market Place to harvest and plow and plant my farm again (They earn more coins by being hired). If you interested, click it here... or add me in your Facebook and we can be neighbor to build our farm town. lolz But if you don't want to be hooked to it, don't try it. lolz
Sorry for writing this long. It’s random written anyway. Okay, I always write things very long like this. No complaint will be accepted! teehee
Btw, I tag:
1- First of all, I’m PISCES!
You’ve already known what kind of Pisces is! It’s mostly true. And I’m one of those typical Pisces. Well, not that I know what about me by it. It’s just something about extent my horoscope and personality knowledge. I have a fickle mind and I like randomness. Not like what you can tell from my post. They’re somehow orderly and well thought out. Ha-ha. Well, Pisces like me love TRUST. It’s the best feeling in the world. You know I love it more than precious things.
2- Not a promise keeper!
My youngest brother once said to mum that, “Mum, just forget what she said! Sis never keeps her promise!” It’s a wake-up call realizing that there are many things I’ve promised and not yet made it. How careless I am! Once I promised, I forget. Not that I don’t mean to keep my words. Maybe all you need to do with me is keep following up and remind me, otherwise I just don’t remember. Truly sorry! But I like people who remember and do what they said they will. In which meant, I do hate myself for this point.
3- I don’t study much, no matter how much I love and did great with education.
I was told many times that my English is good enough and then they oohhed and aahhed and some don't believe me when I told them I stopped studying when I almost finished my Pre-Intermediate level 4 or 5 years ago and I work in a field, which doesn’t make sense at all, require at least BA in English, but until now I have not pursued my BA just yet. Reason? Too many to mention! However, giving up my BA can’t be compared with giving up my French more than 10 years ago. Voila, no regret! U know the best moment I missed the most is when I was little and there's nobody picked me at CCF and I had no money to take Cyclo taxi, but luckily, there's an old cyclo guy sent me home by allowing me to pay him back when I reached home. While we were on the way, he taught me French. By then, I told Pa I take his Cyclo everyday and I learned more french words from him everyday.
4- Talking about the bad things I do
I’m a good liar. But not with everyone I love. Not that those who I lie, I hate them or anything, but in life, you have different kind of people right? I don’t care! We lie, because we have no choice. What I meant is I can lie others, but I have big trouble of lying my people, especial everyone in family. However, I’m still not a good liar though. Well, I learned to lie when I was trained to be AE at RD. You know I remember what the best I always could do is when I accidentally answer a landlines call about sth like, for example, payment, I just simply said, “Oh sorry, our accountant is not here!” and if they asked or insist to get accountant’s number, I told them, “Oh sorry again, I’m first day work here and I don’t know anyone’s number! If possible, can I have your name or your phone number? They will return the call back” lolzzz I cheated them. Hmmppphhh
5- Not good at remembering thing
Remember in #2 I’m not a promise keeper? Yes, forgive me for being forgetful like an old lady. I don’t really remember what I’ve seen, what I’ve heard and what I’ve read. Also I’m really not a good secret keeper. I could spill it out any times. That’s why I said I can’t be a good liar in #4. But you know what, when I don’t lie, we don’t need to remember. In short, I need to boost my brain power. Any tips? OR do I need to change the memory card of my brain?
6- I don’t judge the book by cover
I don’t judge people because you never know what they’ve been through that made them become that way. Our life is different and we have different choice. Sometimes I think it’s really funny when people judge me by saying that I have a snobby face, even when I was little, I always have this same old same old comment. Well, I also don’t want people to judge me back too, especially I don’t want people quickly like me. I’d rather let them hate me first.
7- I tend to love old people
That’s because I’m locked in love of Maturity. I like people who are older than me. That’s why I only hang out with sisters and brothers and being away, not growing apart, from my peers. But there’s a thing I wonder though. When I’m with sis and bro, I’m like a immature kid, but when I’m with my peers, I’m completely an old boring woman. I can be two different person? Talking about marriage, I’d love to marry to a guy who is older than me around 9 years up to 12 years old. Well, a guy who is around 30-33. Weird? Because I love and appreciate Maturity. I strongly believe those years they’ve been through made them a man they are (Though not everyone can be mature through their age, I know!).
8- A go-with-the-flow and idealistic kind of person!
I find hard to start what I want to do and what I want. I also find it hard to finish what I start. Because my determination is not strong enough, I guess. Because I don’t like complexity. I’d rather give everything up if the things I’m doing is/become a burden to someone’s life. Because I want to live in comfort and peace. If giving sth up would make everyone relax and happy, I will do it. One thing I’m proud to say that I’m not ambitious. I'm not after fame and success and fortune and power. It's mostly that I want to have a good job, have good friends and good family. That's the good stuff in life. And yes, I have this same thing in mind like Drew Barrymore. If god give me lemon, I would love to do lemonade. I tend to go where life take me to, but I live by what I think is right and believe in what I believe and what I do.
9- Permanent things.
Those things which would remain and last for life. I burst out wanting to do those stuffs like Tattoo and Marriage. Just like Drew B. again. Because I’d love to have my beloved people’s names on my skin. I once asked a brother about his tattoo and I was willing to have a cluster of everyone’s name in family inscribed on somewhere. But it’s too painful just to hear how hard to get tattoo done and all the pros and cons, esp. I’d be considered as a gansta by people. My parents won’t let me do it though. And for marriage, I’m just like everyone. I think it’s beautiful and for life. Once I commit to marry, I don’t want divorce. Well, I tend to be picky when it comes to marriage, that’s why I’m still single. lolzz kidding. I think 21-22 is too young to get married. 28 years old up would be great and fully ready to start this permanent thing and this is what my family don’t want me to wait till that age, and honestly, their advices and reasons are also acceptable. It’s amazed by what my younger brother said, “Woman who is 26, is too old to get married already!” I think It's funny after what he said, but I don't think everyone would have the same mind like him. Okay, leave it to fate. But first thing first, I want to know what it’s like to fall in love, not the feeling I'm being loved. I want to experience this feeling once.
10- Ummm oh right, game!
I don’t like playing card, game and all that’s kind of thing. I don’t even like when I see people play it. I keep myself from playing game though it looks like fun to play, but recently, I’m addicted online game in Facebook, which is Farm Town. I’m really addicted to it. I go to check once in 3 days or so (depends on what seeds I plant) or I just hire some people in Market Place to harvest and plow and plant my farm again (They earn more coins by being hired). If you interested, click it here... or add me in your Facebook and we can be neighbor to build our farm town. lolz But if you don't want to be hooked to it, don't try it. lolz
Sorry for writing this long. It’s random written anyway. Okay, I always write things very long like this. No complaint will be accepted! teehee
Btw, I tag:
1- B. Rana
2- B. Any
3- B. Phirith
4- Jessyca
5- Anita
6- KellyI also tag everyone who read my posts and those who are in my BlogIread list.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
