Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Dear Deja-Vu!

photo (10) Boston DSC_2725 DSC_2895 DSC_2935 DSC_3137 DSC_3106

Massachusetts, It is good to see you again. And this time, I had a lot of fun and great time with my new girlfriends with a whole new experience. If only you realized that you were the point where my life have changed forever 6 years back. I bet you won't believe your eyes that I come back as a new brave, strong, proud and confident woman.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

It has been quite a while...

Two kids at..

... and it has been the moments of discovery that leave me gawking at how little I am in this world that is at once unfamiliar, big and scary and magnificent. I want to be who I used to be. That brave girl who is rabbit-headed and dragon-hearted in the face of uncertainty. I want to bet against the odds and to believe that there is more magic than fear in the unknown. I want to prove no one but myself. Above all, I want two hands to shape my dreams (our dreams) and two feet to take me there. Knowing that I've already grabbed by the waist by the most important and solid person in my life, I should fear no more. I know I'm not losing my way when I am with you. 

Friday, March 8, 2013

Another place, another story.

I've been married for 55 days now. If you would ask me how I feel to be married, then I must say it is great, it is wonderful. You experience the new feeling that is unable to describe. There are things that we have to admit that it is good to have an extra hand support yours and do it together, you know, like washing dishes, cleaning up the kitchen, collecting the trashes... etc. Hehehe.

Having husband to help with little house chores after he is back from work is wonderful feeling, because I know I wouldn't find this best husband anywhere. This is one of the thing that I most appriciate. But anyway, I don't want to blah blah blah about my husband or how lucky I am here and now. Actually, there are many pictures in my camera--which my husband got me for my birthday few weeks ago, but I don't know what to post and I just have no idea what I want to talk about. In my camera, besides capturing my husband's face, my visit in D.C with my friend, and umm some testing pictures, there are only FOODS pictures that I cooked. Yes, my husband wants me to take pictures of every foods I make. But most of all, he knows I love photography and he wants me to enjoy taking photograph again.

Anyway, I'll try updating more and post what I have in my camera while working on our projects. Have I mentioned I just paint our office and family room downstair? Yes I have. I've done it by myself. Husband said I should be proud of myself, and here I am, I'm proud and pleased with what I have done. But without husband's encouragement and freedom to let me do what I want to do, I would never have done it. I'm glad I can pick up what I want to do and never had time to do it. I enjoy this simple pleasure. Now, I'm writing here as an initial step to get on with my little home projects and I'll try document it here. But right now, let's enjoy random pictures and video together!



There was a winter storm few days ago and we planned to walk down to have breakfast, but it started snowing heavily and I was freaking cold that I can't feel my hands and ears, so we just walked around the house and made this two random video clips. Bleh!

Okay, I'm too lazy to decide which photos I want to post and the computer is so slow, so later! Bye!

Friday, January 25, 2013

Goodbye, unlikely lover!

IMG_5389

It’s been a long but good run, me and you. We have so much in common. I can't believe I would find solace in your wild, crazy embrace, even though you’re where I came from after more than two decades together.
This is a question of conquest. In any case, the reason I came out was to see the world and find myself in you and to move on so that I can find my better me. In the end, I think I at once saw more and less than I thought I would. Because of you, I have learned enough to go on with my life. Well, I know you too well and now we have a lifetime history together, you and I, a pair of unlikely lovers or unlikely mother, or whatever.

Let’s spare ourselves the melodrama, but I want to make the promises that I might be able to keep, even though we’re both too aware that there is no space in your embrace for fairy tales, and I’m too much of a cynic.
So anyway, this is me saying I’m leaving for good, for my fairy tales, for my true and lifetime lover though I know it make no difference to you. But I will miss you, you crazy country, crazy city. I can’t help it. I’m sentimental that way. Just do me one last favor and hold on to the bit of me that I’m leaving behind because I have a feeling I’ll be back to you someday. At least, you're where my heart is.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

On the girlfriend I love the most!


I got it a lot from everyone and i got it a lot from her too whenever i meet her. But this time, she sent me her calendar to my whatsApp... and I'm sad. It's always sad to know that I'm going to leave the only one girlfriend I love the most and it tucks my heart more knowing how much she loves me after all these years.

Me: Hashaha sot ter Pom Pu!
She: My favorite name, mich jos? But I'm not ready to let you go. :(
Me: Not my favorite name, I tell ya! I'm not ready to leave too.
She: My new calendar always sad. :(
Me: Come on!
She: Bach come on ei tes!
Me: Smoooch! :*
She: Erk. Prir sombol nas!
Me: :P

I'm going to miss her a lot. I'm going to miss her when she like knocking my head, pulling my hairs, smacking me down, glaring at me and esp calling me "K'Pu" when she's mad!

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Until I become Cinderella!

Taken by Canon Rebel XTi, overlaid by Pixlr-o-matic

To spend this rest of my life on the next chapter with someone
So fun,
So kind,
So thoughtful,
So beautiful,
So grounded,
So true,
So loving,
So amazing... etc

To someone who always knows what matter most.
To my incredible dancing partner, who my heart only beats for.
To the one who is amazingly soft, understanding, patient and strong, yet so gentle.
To the person I love so, so, so, so, so much and then more than x10000000000000000000+.
To my companion in adventures, my partner in journey, my lifetime best friend.
To my source of inspiration, my biggest support, the one who continues surprising me in every way.
To the one and only man who makes me feel so important, so precious, so capable, so confident, so beautiful and so deeply loved.
To my more, my life and my love.
To happiness.
To hope.
And yes to love.


Monday, November 26, 2012

The Entrepreneur


I first met Chris Coon three months ago in Union Square. I was speaking to my friend Manuel when Chris walked up and asked for a dollar. I told him no, using the brusque tone that I normally reserve for panhandlers. “But I’m conducting an experiment,” he said. He had a clipboard in his hand. “I’m going to ask one million people for a dollar– to see if I can get out of being homeless.” This sounded like a pretty self-serving experiment to me. I was ready to turn Chris down for a second time, but Manuel started to lay on some peer pressure: “Trust me,” he said. “It’s legit. I gave him a dollar earlier.” Legit? What is that supposed to mean?
I pointed at Chris’s clipboard: “Can I see that?” Chris handed it over. On it was a piece of paper divided into two columns: DONATED and DIDN’T DONATE. This is the experiment?There were about five tallies in each column. Ten people total. I was number eleven. Eleven out of one million. “You’ve only asked eleven people???” I glanced at Manuel, hoping for someone to share my skepticism. But Manuel was giving me nothing: “It’s completely legit,” he said. “Trust me.” I looked back and forth between them. I was waiting for everyone to start laughing. But both of them were looking at me earnestly. ”I just started my Facebook group twenty minutes ago,” said Chris.
I sighed. Clearly I was going to have to pay a dollar to not look like an asshole. An asshole avoidance dollar. I reached for my wallet: “Alright man, here you go.” Chris took the dollar and added a tally to the DONATED column. “Thanks a lot,” said Chris.
“Anything for science,” I said. “But I’ve got to get going.” I told them both goodbye, and walked toward the subway.

A few months later, I was photographing in Union Square when I saw Chris again. He had cornered a man and his young daughter on a bench. I walked up to him enthusiastically. He still had his clipboard, but I noticed that his survey had grown more complex. He now had a whole list of questions with which to categorize the people who were donating. [Age / Sex / Race / Income Level]
“Hey man,” I said. “Do you remember me? I was like the tenth person you asked.” Chris looked at me blankly. He didn’t seem to remember me.
“Oh,” said Chris. “I think I remember you. But that was thousands of people ago.” I looked at the man and his daughter.
“I was one of the first people he asked,” I said proudly. They smiled nervously.


I stood back while Chris finished his pitch., then approached him again: “I can’t believe you’re still doing this,” I said. “What number are you on?”
“That was number 3, 456.” He handed me a business card: Ask a Million… A Social Experiment / Christopher Coon- Experiment Conductor. “I’ve got a website now too where people can make donations online,” he explained. “Let me show it to you.” Chris reached into his bag and pulled out a brand new lap top computer. “Some lady donated this to me.”
My eyes were real big now. “She gave you that for the project???”
“Yeah. Some Bulgarian lady. She just took me into Best Buy and bought it for me.” Chris and I sat down on a bench, and he began to pull up his website. “You can get free wireless anywhere in the park,” he said. He clicked around a bit until he reached his “Donation” page, where potential donors could provide a credit card number.
“Have you had people donate online?” I asked.
“Are you kidding me? Look at this.” Chris pulled out his smartphone, and began scrolling through his text messages. Every third line or so, in huge capital letters, were the words:ONLINE DONATION RECEIVED. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
“How much are those donations?” I asked.
“Mostly just a few dollars,” he said. “But some people give twenty.” He leaned in real close to me, and whispered: “I’m going to make six million dollars.” His ambitions were exploding. He’d experienced the entrepreneur’s first taste of success. And now he was hungry. He was getting entrepreneur thoughts. (If I’ve done this well already, just imagine…. ) The sky was the limit. And I wasn’t sure I was in a position to doubt him anymore.
“How are you going to make six million dollars?” I asked.
“The internet,” he said, reverently. He looked at me like I was a slow-learning chimp. ”Let me show you the traffic to my website.” He pulled up a daily traffic counter, and pointed to a number. It was a big number. I couldn’t believe it. In two month’s time, AskAMillion.com was getting more traffic than my website. Much more. And it was run by a homeless guy. Unfuckingbelievable. I was jealous. Actually jealous. Of a homeless guy.


I took a business card from Chris. I was suddenly very interested in following his project.


The next week, Chris Coon blew up. He was on the New York Times City Room blog. (I’ve sent those guys five emails. Nothing.) He was in The Village Voice. The Huffington Post. CBS News. He was interviewed by not one, but two, German television stations. Granted, the comment sections on all of these stories were filled with negative opinions. The Huffington Post article had 420 comments, and maybe 10 percent of them were supportive. The rest looked something like this:

But despite the negative reactions, donations were coming into AskAMillion.com at record levels. There had been a handful of $100 donations. Someone donated six sets of business attire, which Chris was storing at a local dry cleaners. And he was now conducting his surveys electronically using a brand new Ipad2– also donated. Three months ago, Chris had told me he was going to ask one million people for a dollar. I was number ten on the list. I had assumed that he would quit after about 50 people. Who could have known that he was the Donald Trump of panhandlers?

After reading the articles, I wrote Chris an email: Hey, it’s the photographer from Union Square Park. Can we finish that interview? Chris wrote me back: I’m pretty booked up this week, but let me know what time you’re thinking and I’ll see if I can squeeze it in. By the way, the project has evolved. I’m selling poetry now. So you’ll be the first one to get a shot at that story. After some back and forth, Chris and I decided to meet on Wall Street. He was planning on moving his social experiment to the financial district, and I thought it would make the perfect background for an interview: homeless entrepreneur begs in the heart of capitalism. It was a lay-up.

But then the heat wave came. Three straight days of 100 degree heat. I decided to wait a bit before calling Chris, thinking that it would be too hot for an interview– especially if he was wearing suits now. But on the third day of the heat wave, I walked out of the Union Square Barnes and Noble and there he was– dressed in business attire and carrying an IPad 2.


“Hey Chris! What’s up?”
“Hey man, I thought you were going to call.”
“I was, but I thought that I’d wait until it cooled down a little.”
“Yeah it’s been hot as hell. But I’ve been working.”
“Did you go to Wall Street.”
“Yeah I did, but I worked eight hours and only got $2. That place sucks.” I laughed. I knew from experience just how difficult it is to get people on Wall Street to stop and talk to you. I couldn’t imagine asking people to fill out a survey for the privilege of giving you a dollar.
“I had a feeling that was going to happen,” I said.
“But a TV crew was following me. They got some good footage of people blowing me off.”Damn it, that was my angle. “Hey, check this out–” Chris unplugged a small, white, boxy contraption from his IPad. “Have you seen these? It’s called a square. It allows you to swipe credit cards. I can take any credit card now.” Chris had become the hyper-evolved panhandler that nightmares are made of— no cash? no problem. He handled his business like it was a race-car videogame. All his winnings went into new shocks, brakes, and nitrous oxide systems. Everyday he got bigger and faster. He was running a textbook operation here.

“You’re a tragic figure Chris.”
“Why’s that?”
“You’ve got a lot of ambition, a lot of energy, and a lot of business sense. You could be a millionaire right now. I mean, if you weren’t homeless. Why are you homeless again?”
“Cause I just got out of jail, I thought I told you that already.”
“You may have. But I forgot. Why were you in jail again?”
“I put my brother-in-law in a coma.”
“Yikes.”
“I mean, it wasn’t my fault. He brought a gun into my house. I probably held the headlock too long but he brought a gun into my house.”
“And that was the first time you got arrested?”
“Oh, no. I was arrested a few years earlier.”
“For what?”
“Burglary.”
“What did you steal?”
“I didn’t steal anything. That’s a common misperception about burglary. Burglary is actually trespassing in a place with the intent to commit a crime. I chased a guy into the back of a Starbucks and threatened to beat the shit out of him.”
“Yikes.”
“But it wasn’t my fault. He touched my leg. Like he was rubbing it. What am I supposed to do? I can’t let that happen.”
Everyone with a long history of assault talks about their previous altercations as if they were unavoidable. As if they had no choice but to fight. What was I supposed to do? LET him step on my foot? Brawlers are society’s most principled men.
“So that was the first time you got arrested?”
“No the first time I got arrested was when I was ten. Some kid kicked my leg and called my mom a ‘hoe.’ So I knocked him out.” I started laughing. I couldn’t help it. Chris kept turning minor conflicts into prizefights. ”You’ve got to understand,” said Chris. “My mom was the only person I cared about at that time. So I knocked him out.”
“Jesus, Chris.” I wanted to change the subject. “So where do you sleep?”
“Behind the Barnes and Noble.”
“Can you show me?”
“Yeah, but then I need to get back to work. I’ve got to take a bus to see my kids tomorrow, so I need to make at least $30.” We only had to walk a couple hundred yards to the place where Christ slept at night. When we got there, he asked if I wanted to see how he slept.


Chris has an Ipad 2, six business suits, a laptop, and the most-trafficed website of anyone I personally know. He’s done this in three months– while sleeping on a ledge. I know people with trust funds that play video games for a living. And they don’t even upgrade their car when they win a race. I thought back to the 420 people who commented on Chris’s lifestyle. They couldn’t do it. Who cares if his business is asking people for a dollar. (“I’m going to start selling my poetry. So people feel like they’re getting something.”) Look at the energy this guy has. He’s John D. Rockefeller. He’s Bill Gates–minus the education, minus a few teeth, minus a place to sleep, plus a long history of assault. He wants to make it big. (“I want to use this money for business school, but I’m afraid if I quit before one million, people will think it’s a scam”) Get out of here with your morals. He doesn’t want to work at McDonalds. You go work at McDonalds.

“I spent most of my childhood in jail. When I was twelve, they locked me up for six years.”
“For beating a kid up?”
“No. That’s when I was ten. When I was twelve, I tried to kill my stepdad.”
“You WHAT?”
“I tried to slit his throat when he was sleeping. It didn’t work.”
“You WHAT?”
“I tried to kill him. I wish I did. He beat my stepmom with a crowbar. He slit my tongue with a razor, and told me that’s what hell feels like. He burned my dog alive. He was a preacher, but he was evil. He used to smoke crack before church. That’s how he got me, he traded me for crack.”
“Wait, WHAT?”
“When I was a baby, my mom sold me to my stepparents for an eightball of crack.”

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Man! I feel like a woman!

It's been some years that I've never let go of myself and had a silly fun. It's been years for us that we  never laughed our belly off. I doubt where has our little girls in us gone. What has life done to us? Perhaps, we're all now grown-up. Perhaps, stress and strains has chained us. Perhaps we've never had times to meet often. Perhaps, perhaps. I thought I want some fun. I thought let forget about how old we are now. At least I want them to forget about life, and laugh real hard. Just for one day at least.

In the occasion of my little cousin birthday, I thought I should bring the camera (that heavy stuff!) and the notebook (he has it all!), so we can do photobooth together. Thank to my little Dino (Not human, of course!). He did us a huge favor! We went all silly and crazy in front of him and now we got all the pictures that we might don't want to show our children in the future (Heehee! or I might will). Everyone was running out of energy just because of doing insane photos, but we didn't want to stop until I had to run to restroom and threw up all the foods. How wasted! Yes! because I laughed too hard. My throat is sore and everyone said they sounds like men now. HAHA.

 Taken by DINO aka Macbook Pro.

Let's look at BEHIND THE SCENE!
No, it's BEHIND THE PHOTO-BOOTH SCENE!

Taken by Canon Rebel XTi



You may don't want to know even a CEO can be this crazy! But I fond of the idea that he doesn't like talking about politics, businesses or anything headaches. He loves having fun, talking silly over our catch up dinner! We--girls, should have done that long time ago. Now I told everyone let not talk about our stress and all the headaches all the time, instead try to have fun, treasure the precious times we barely have for each other. These day, I feel like the good old days!

P.S. Forgive me for the video quality. I compressed, so that I don't need to wait so long for uploading this 200MB plus video. 

P.S.S. Now! I feel like I want to sing this song!


Man! I feel like a woman!

Let's go girls! Come on.

I'm going out tonight, I'm feelin' alright
Gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise, really raise my voice
Yeah, I wanna scream and shout
No inhibitions, make no conditions
Get a little outta line
I ain't gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a good time

The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun

Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy, forget I'm a lady!
Men's shirts, short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild, yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action, feel the attraction
Color my hair, do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free, yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!

~Shania Twain

Thursday, April 19, 2012

I miss us.

I miss all the craziness and silliness we shared.
I miss all the times we had just to talk, laugh, play, sing the songs and all that jazz.

Us

It seems like yesterday.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

The excitement of learning separates youth from old age. As long as you're learning you're not old.

Elegant lady

Khmer New Year is around the corner and I feel normal. I don’t have that jump-up-and-down moments I used to have anymore. Today students start saying goodbye to their school for their short vacation of 15 days! Today people start dancing and playing Khmer Traditional games in their communities. Today some companies start throwing Khmer New Year party for their employees. Today some people would start planning their trip and some would get ready to go to their homelands. And today, I start thinking about my plan for my family too.

As a little child back then, Khmer New Year is a big celebration for me. Excitement is shooting off in all directions. If I were young again, today I might say good bye to my chums, hoping to meet again when the vacation is over so that we could brag about how our new year was. If I were young again, today, mum would buy me new sets of clothes and shoes and I could have a lot of cookies and candies to eat. If I were young again, on 1st day of New Year, I would become a rich kid by getting A LOT of MONEY from my folks!!!! Hehehe this is the best part of all. If I were young again, on 2nd day of New Year, we all would gather at grandma house and I would get more money and my cousins and I would play Kla-Klok game. If I were young again, on the 3rd day of New Year, my family and I would go on a trip somewhere and our best favorite place is beach. If I were young again, New Year celebration would last until the day we go back to school, back to cool again.

Thing has been different when you’re not young anymore. As an elder daughter, Khmer New Year becomes a big celebration for my family instead. And there are only happiness lies in when seeing my family have their great time. Like any previous years, I’m setting my limited budget for my family. Here is the little thing I normally do: Buying new set of clothes for mum and grandma; preparing some money to give to my brothers and cousins and spending for family trip.

Like any other people, I love my responsibility in my family. I’m grateful that I’m able to share their responsibilities. I want to give them everything. I want to provide them all the things I think they need and want without them asking. I only want the best for them. I wish I could tell them how much they mean to me.

Anyway, I think my English and writing is losing now.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Draw me the warm sunlight; sketch me the chilly breeze and paint my world in shade of fall.

Autumn_falling_leaf
I won't deny that I wish to have an autumn views here in Cambodia.

Khaer KADEK Tleark Kjol (Autumn Season) has rolled around for few days already, but I don't feel a slight chill of the breeze. I guess we can't feel it this early but in a week or so. Do you think autumn is a great excuse to get warm and cozy and especially being lazy in this miserable chill? I pretty much do. But usually I don't find myself being lazy during this season thought, but more productive. I think during autumn here, people are being more active than ever. It's a marriage season after all. So Ah hah, you see my point. They gotta run around checking those things off their to-do-list.

We can't expect much from autumn here though, except wedding invitations. Lolz. And I got 3 already. You can't see those beautiful views in hazel nuts or earth muddy or vibrant or warm beige or neutral color here, but there are times I saw some falling leaves on the ground and they took my breathe away.

So ladies – Yeay Yeay circle, I expect another Saturday cozy catch up in the yard of coffee shop, when we feel the chill touch us. What do you think? And this time I promise to bring my knitting stuffs along. Haha.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Dreary October

I was anxious not to get things go, but then I tried to do.

I was anxious to be understood but I tried hard not to resent those who don't.

I was anxious for things to go my way when I wanted them to, but I took a breath and a big step back and tried to seek patience instead.

I was anxious to be loved unconditionally but I tried not to let that stop me from loving others and hard.

I was/am anxious to be happy with who I am, right here, right now, but I tried/try to give myself a break and just be happy.

That's what I've been trying. hard.

IMG_9553

Now I'm aiming to set my eyes on my going-to-be everyday in the near future on taking in the moments and then letting them go; on forming few attachments, except to the ones who rock my world; on being thankful at the end of each day that I'd make it through and have enough leftover to live.

This October is going to be the most depressive and dreary month that I'm going to remember. Because I can't keep promise to myself to this post anymore.

Let's end it all here. October.
Say hello to my new chapter in the fresh November, which I wonder what it's going to have in store, especially without a single plan and goal at all.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

your month

Picture-1
Picture-4


Your birthday was a week ago. But I didn't have a chance to turn on laptop and post what I want to blog about. Pretty much there are many things I want to tell you, just like our old days, we fought by day and made up by night and swapped about this and that until we fell asleep and hug each other tight.

I wish you were here with us. But we can't be here together in this world as much as I want to, but I think when I feel a need, I can close my eyes and turn inwards and let the memories of our childhood take over.

P.S. I love how mum wrote about us at the back of our photos.

We always miss you.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

a beautiful quote for today...

"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life."

— Bob Marley

Friday, July 1, 2011

I love it when I say 'I'm fine' and you never believe I am.

It might be a simple way to not forget about our days was like.

Because the bruises and wounds are almost removed and all that remains are the soon-to-be-healed scars and such.

Comb the hair

I’m ready to bed now, but it occurred to me that someday I might forget the days (2months) I walked around with my almost blackout and dizzy head and blur vision with a week of the band-aids and bruise on my chest and hand and finally had enough of it, peeled it off, and left with these bruise and soon-to-be-healed scars (Week 2). And anyways, I can’t just go around forgetting things like that, which is happened to me for the first time. (I hope I didn't make it sound serious which is not at all.)

But this is not the only case. Because I think I just need to remember all the shivered sounds from their mouths, the worries from their faces, and esp. how they know exactly I'm not fine whenever I say 'I'm fine.'

Sometimes, I think I/we need people like this in life: People who never fail to express what is in their mind when you're not. Questionable people who you can trust unconditionally. People who see through you, but yet they love you. People who is always there for you and you can always turn to, while others look away.

And remember that they also need the same from you.
That's what called 'Love' I guess.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

when i become a mommy....

Boy&Girl

When I become a mommy to a little girl, I’ll tied her hair up with a crochet flower hairpin, dress her in a short flower swirly skirt with a white cotton spaghetti strap blouse and a pair of ballerina shoes, then we’ll go on road trip to find out why birds live in trees, butterflies can fly and what makes blue skies blue.

And when I become a mommy to a little boy, I'll dress him in a knee-length khaki jean with a white T-shirts, a pair of sneakers and a cap, then we'll go on adventure to find out why the mountains are high, the lakes are wide and what makes blue oceans blue.


Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Old & Grey & in love.

Mr.&Ms. Opal & Amethyst Love.

Well, don't you want to be mine? I mean, to be one of them???
Stay calm and become my toys! I've never owned a Human Toy. Be mine, plz!!
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

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Taken when I tucked them in and sing a good night song. lolz

Every moment I look at my new toys, 'Aging' & 'Future' & ‘Forever’ are on my dictionary of the day. Besides continue eating everything that life put in my plate, best or worst, I try to consume more supplements that I think it is the best nutrition for nurturing my faith.

Because one day, even the young will be old. Those children, playing so happily in the park, will be the elderly men and women who sit on the bench watching another generation ride those swings. I wonder on what I want to take with me into the future and what I can preserve from the present and the past. If I can take my faith along with me, my hope, my tolerance, and my belief in the better side of human nature... perhaps, I can ensure that the most important part of me never ages.

So let's fill our heart with LIGHT and LOVE.

And... let's get married, singletons! lolz jkd.


Monday, May 9, 2011

The remain of the day.

Maybe it's beyond what you expect.
The impossible expectation you yearn for after a long tiring day.


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I've finally traveled 24 provinces and I'm proud of it.

During my travels, I fell in love often with countryside, esp. BTB where I could see beautiful clouds move back and forth; PL where you could never tired to enjoy the bluest sky on the summer day; MDKR where you can find the most greenest place for a better escape; RTNKR where you can see the most beautiful stars, and sky; KCG, the most peaceful place I once I think might end up there at my very old age... etc.

And maybe there's one noisiest, muddiest, and stressful place where you chase your life for life, but then, and the end of the day, if you could find something less stressful, but yet beautiful and romantic, that would be the best warming moment of the days. Like a quote from a book below:

"Beyond the wall that marked the end of the terrace, I could see for miles around the windows and back yards of the neighboring properties. A lot of the windows were lit, and the ones in the distance, if you narrowed your eyes, looked almost like an extension of the stars. This roof terrace wasn't large, but there was definitely something romantic about it. You could imagine a couple, in the midst of busy city lives, coming out here on a warm evening and strolling around the potted shrubs, in each other's arms, swapping stories about their day."

I particularly like the last line.

And for some reason, I'm stricken by this picture. It's taken on the 32th floor of Canadia Tower. I've never seen something like on the day time with my naked eyes, except the last 3 years I was on the plane. But it's definitely something else I utterly fell about it. Because I see it with a feeling. Because right now, it gives me a glimpse to remind me how life eat me up from the inside with my everyday stress and strain.

Last 3 years, it was the beginning, it's hard to see everything with my true feeling.
And today, I have plenty of times to be torn in between, to shout, to scream out loud and to tell what I've been feeling and how my days look like.

And that's SUCK!


Thursday, May 5, 2011

M-Mum.

It's May. And it's Mother's Day. Soon. Time for present. At least, something to make the day for our beloved people. Like, this is my motto now, when you come from a trip, don't forget a little gift. At least, to me. Because maybe I've grown up receiving those from Uncle & Dad. And at this age, I feel like I'm following their footsteps.

So speaking of which, there's something I think it's really cute about it. From the very since, Dad always gets mum a make up kit, which I think why doesn't he just get her a lipstick instead? Because mum doesn't wear make up, except lipstick! Mum never get the reason why he always get her that, though how much he doesn't like when women with a make-up on.

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Well, I got presents from mum and mum-to-be bestie.

Happy Mother's Day.
And this blow-your-soul-away song, which is written by Rachel Aldous*, is for my mum & mum-to-be bestie, as well as mothers in the world who loves their children unconditionally.

I’m imperfect but I perfectly love you.
I love you dearly and Happy Mother's Day.




*See Rachel Aldous heart-felt interview here and below is the song called, 'A Mother's Prayer'.


Friday, April 29, 2011

I smile and shake my head, well we all write our own endings and we all have our own scars, but tonight I think I see what it's all about.

And I'm not gonna write it down. I'm saving them in my head.

Below is just some craps I want to get it off a little bit, which there are two things I'm really obsessed about:

1- Marriage & Pregnancy & Babies. I'm incredibly obsessed with it. Not because I want to get married, but I want to feel how it is to have a small living creature inside my tummy and how it is and how stress it is to be a master of everything with the new life. I want a change, really. I'm dying to experience it. Esp, when working on a new project related to it, I'm all for it. Anyway, so how to have baby without getting marriage? Single mom, i mean? Which is very INSANE, I know.

2- Health. Be aware of your well-being. Seek balance. We can't do anything without having a good health and I just realized it's very, very, and very important. So take a good care of yourself. Do regular check-up. Disease is everywhere and Stress is the worst of all in this new generation which lead to other illness. So, don't overwork yourself. Limit. Less ambition. Be Content. It's not fun when you're sick.

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Anyway.

Homecoming by Vienna Teng.

This girl is really something. Epic.
After a long tiresome day, her songs calm my nerves.
And I'm feeling this beautiful song.




I just want to
be living as I'm dying
just like everybody here
just want to know my little flicker of time is worthwhile
and I don't know where I'm driving to
but I know I'm getting old
and there's a blessing in every moment every mile


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