Dear Deja-Vu!

Massachusetts, It is good to see you again. And this time, I had a lot of fun and great time with my new girlfriends with a whole new experience. If only you realized that you were the point where my life have changed forever 6 years back. I bet you won't believe your eyes that I come back as a new brave, strong, proud and confident woman.

Daddy's Little Girls!

Bee and Daddy

BEE: Daddy, Belle got my scooter!

DADDY: Let her play first honey. You're her big sister, sweetie!​ She will give you back soon.

Little BELLE: Bee, get the scooter back! Give Belle's Daddy! Daddy!!!!!

*in her fragmental speaking*

Little naughty Belle and Daddy

And I am pretty sure both of them are still on the dispute of claiming the right to get daddy their own property. Perhaps, we can call it "sisterhood."

The Entrepreneur

I first met Chris Coon three months ago in Union Square. I was speaking to my friend Manuel when Chris walked up and asked for a dollar. I told him no, using the brusque tone that I normally reserve for panhandlers. “But I’m conducting an experiment,” he said. He had a clipboard in his hand. “I’m going to ask one million people for a dollar– to see if I can get out of being homeless.” This sounded like a pretty self-serving experiment to me. I was ready to turn Chris down for a second time, but Manuel started to lay on some peer pressure: “Trust me,” he said. “It’s legit. I gave him a dollar earlier.” Legit? What is that supposed to mean?

I pointed at Chris’s clipboard: “Can I see that?” Chris handed it over. On it was a piece of paper divided into two columns: DONATED and DIDN’T DONATE. This is the experiment?There were about five tallies in each column. Ten people total. I was number eleven. Eleven out of one million. “You’ve only asked eleven people???” I glanced at Manuel, hoping for someone to share my skepticism. But Manuel was giving me nothing: “It’s completely legit,” he said. “Trust me.” I looked back and forth between them. I was waiting for everyone to start laughing. But both of them were looking at me earnestly. ”I just started my Facebook group twenty minutes ago,” said Chris.

I sighed. Clearly I was going to have to pay a dollar to not look like an asshole. An asshole avoidance dollar. I reached for my wallet: “Alright man, here you go.” Chris took the dollar and added a tally to the DONATED column. “Thanks a lot,” said Chris.

“Anything for science,” I said. “But I’ve got to get going.” I told them both goodbye, and walked toward the subway.

---

A few months later, I was photographing in Union Square when I saw Chris again. He had cornered a man and his young daughter on a bench. I walked up to him enthusiastically. He still had his clipboard, but I noticed that his survey had grown more complex. He now had a whole list of questions with which to categorize the people who were donating. [Age / Sex / Race / Income Level]

“Hey man,” I said. “Do you remember me? I was like the tenth person you asked.” Chris looked at me blankly. He didn’t seem to remember me.
“Oh,” said Chris. “I think I remember you. But that was thousands of people ago.” I looked at the man and his daughter.
“I was one of the first people he asked,” I said proudly. They smiled nervously.

I stood back while Chris finished his pitch., then approached him again: “I can’t believe you’re still doing this,” I said. “What number are you on?”
“That was number 3, 456.” He handed me a business card: Ask a Million… A Social Experiment / Christopher Coon- Experiment Conductor. “I’ve got a website now too where people can make donations online,” he explained. “Let me show it to you.” Chris reached into his bag and pulled out a brand new lap top computer. “Some lady donated this to me.”
My eyes were real big now. “She gave you that for the project???”
“Yeah. Some Bulgarian lady. She just took me into Best Buy and bought it for me.” Chris and I sat down on a bench, and he began to pull up his website. “You can get free wireless anywhere in the park,” he said. He clicked around a bit until he reached his “Donation” page, where potential donors could provide a credit card number.
“Have you had people donate online?” I asked.
“Are you kidding me? Look at this.” Chris pulled out his smartphone, and began scrolling through his text messages. Every third line or so, in huge capital letters, were the words:ONLINE DONATION RECEIVED. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
“How much are those donations?” I asked.
“Mostly just a few dollars,” he said. “But some people give twenty.” He leaned in real close to me, and whispered: “I’m going to make six million dollars.” His ambitions were exploding. He’d experienced the entrepreneur’s first taste of success. And now he was hungry. He was getting entrepreneur thoughts. (If I’ve done this well already, just imagine…. ) The sky was the limit. And I wasn’t sure I was in a position to doubt him anymore.
“How are you going to make six million dollars?” I asked.
“The internet,” he said, reverently. He looked at me like I was a slow-learning chimp. ”Let me show you the traffic to my website.” He pulled up a daily traffic counter, and pointed to a number. It was a big number. I couldn’t believe it. In two month’s time, AskAMillion.com was getting more traffic than my website. Much more. And it was run by a homeless guy. Unfuckingbelievable. I was jealous. Actually jealous. Of a homeless guy.

I took a business card from Chris. I was suddenly very interested in following his project.

---

The next week, Chris Coon blew up. He was on the New York Times City Room blog. (I’ve sent those guys five emails. Nothing.) He was in The Village Voice. The Huffington Post. CBS News. He was interviewed by not one, but two, German television stations. Granted, the comment sections on all of these stories were filled with negative opinions. The Huffington Post article had 420 comments, and maybe 10 percent of them were supportive. The rest looked something like this:

But despite the negative reactions, donations were coming into AskAMillion.com at record levels. There had been a handful of $100 donations. Someone donated six sets of business attire, which Chris was storing at a local dry cleaners. And he was now conducting his surveys electronically using a brand new Ipad2– also donated. Three months ago, Chris had told me he was going to ask one million people for a dollar. I was number ten on the list. I had assumed that he would quit after about 50 people. Who could have known that he was the Donald Trump of panhandlers?

After reading the articles, I wrote Chris an email: Hey, it’s the photographer from Union Square Park. Can we finish that interview? Chris wrote me back: I’m pretty booked up this week, but let me know what time you’re thinking and I’ll see if I can squeeze it in. By the way, the project has evolved. I’m selling poetry now. So you’ll be the first one to get a shot at that story. After some back and forth, Chris and I decided to meet on Wall Street. He was planning on moving his social experiment to the financial district, and I thought it would make the perfect background for an interview: homeless entrepreneur begs in the heart of capitalism. It was a lay-up.

But then the heat wave came. Three straight days of 100 degree heat. I decided to wait a bit before calling Chris, thinking that it would be too hot for an interview– especially if he was wearing suits now. But on the third day of the heat wave, I walked out of the Union Square Barnes and Noble and there he was– dressed in business attire and carrying an IPad 2.

“Hey Chris! What’s up?”
“Hey man, I thought you were going to call.”
“I was, but I thought that I’d wait until it cooled down a little.”
“Yeah it’s been hot as hell. But I’ve been working.”
“Did you go to Wall Street.”
“Yeah I did, but I worked eight hours and only got $2. That place sucks.” I laughed. I knew from experience just how difficult it is to get people on Wall Street to stop and talk to you. I couldn’t imagine asking people to fill out a survey for the privilege of giving you a dollar.
“I had a feeling that was going to happen,” I said.
“But a TV crew was following me. They got some good footage of people blowing me off.”Damn it, that was my angle. “Hey, check this out–” Chris unplugged a small, white, boxy contraption from his IPad. “Have you seen these? It’s called a square. It allows you to swipe credit cards. I can take any credit card now.” Chris had become the hyper-evolved panhandler that nightmares are made of— no cash? no problem. He handled his business like it was a race-car videogame. All his winnings went into new shocks, brakes, and nitrous oxide systems. Everyday he got bigger and faster. He was running a textbook operation here.

---

“You’re a tragic figure Chris.”
“Why’s that?”
“You’ve got a lot of ambition, a lot of energy, and a lot of business sense. You could be a millionaire right now. I mean, if you weren’t homeless. Why are you homeless again?”
“Cause I just got out of jail, I thought I told you that already.”
“You may have. But I forgot. Why were you in jail again?”
“I put my brother-in-law in a coma.”
“Yikes.”
“I mean, it wasn’t my fault. He brought a gun into my house. I probably held the headlock too long but he brought a gun into my house.”
“And that was the first time you got arrested?”
“Oh, no. I was arrested a few years earlier.”
“For what?”
“Burglary.”
“What did you steal?”
“I didn’t steal anything. That’s a common misperception about burglary. Burglary is actually trespassing in a place with the intent to commit a crime. I chased a guy into the back of a Starbucks and threatened to beat the shit out of him.”
“Yikes.”
“But it wasn’t my fault. He touched my leg. Like he was rubbing it. What am I supposed to do? I can’t let that happen.”
Everyone with a long history of assault talks about their previous altercations as if they were unavoidable. As if they had no choice but to fight. What was I supposed to do? LET him step on my foot? Brawlers are society’s most principled men.
“So that was the first time you got arrested?”
“No the first time I got arrested was when I was ten. Some kid kicked my leg and called my mom a ‘hoe.’ So I knocked him out.” I started laughing. I couldn’t help it. Chris kept turning minor conflicts into prizefights. ”You’ve got to understand,” said Chris. “My mom was the only person I cared about at that time. So I knocked him out.”
“Jesus, Chris.” I wanted to change the subject. “So where do you sleep?”
“Behind the Barnes and Noble.”
“Can you show me?”
“Yeah, but then I need to get back to work. I’ve got to take a bus to see my kids tomorrow, so I need to make at least $30.” We only had to walk a couple hundred yards to the place where Christ slept at night. When we got there, he asked if I wanted to see how he slept.

Chris has an Ipad 2, six business suits, a laptop, and the most-trafficed website of anyone I personally know. He’s done this in three months– while sleeping on a ledge. I know people with trust funds that play video games for a living. And they don’t even upgrade their car when they win a race. I thought back to the 420 people who commented on Chris’s lifestyle. They couldn’t do it. Who cares if his business is asking people for a dollar. (“I’m going to start selling my poetry. So people feel like they’re getting something.”) Look at the energy this guy has. He’s John D. Rockefeller. He’s Bill Gates–minus the education, minus a few teeth, minus a place to sleep, plus a long history of assault. He wants to make it big. (“I want to use this money for business school, but I’m afraid if I quit before one million, people will think it’s a scam”) Get out of here with your morals. He doesn’t want to work at McDonalds. You go work at McDonalds.

“I spent most of my childhood in jail. When I was twelve, they locked me up for six years.”
“For beating a kid up?”
“No. That’s when I was ten. When I was twelve, I tried to kill my stepdad.”
“You WHAT?”
“I tried to slit his throat when he was sleeping. It didn’t work.”
“You WHAT?”
“I tried to kill him. I wish I did. He beat my stepmom with a crowbar. He slit my tongue with a razor, and told me that’s what hell feels like. He burned my dog alive. He was a preacher, but he was evil. He used to smoke crack before church. That’s how he got me, he traded me for crack.”
“Wait, WHAT?”
“When I was a baby, my mom sold me to my stepparents for an eightball of crack.”

Source: Humans Of New York

Remember this?

The DIY bookplate we made out of our notebook back in primary school? teeheeheehee
Oh dear, how I'm fond of all the memories.

Some friends...

... make you feel young and remind you how to have fun!

We've known each other when we went for high school enrollment together.

Three years later, we met again and became friend at 10th grade.

We formed our group at 11th grade.

We've became best friend at 12th grade.

Now she's a wife of my friend and a mother to a 6 months old son!

It's been more than 10 years.

And she's the one who reminds me all the crazy and silly memories together.

And I still see us when we are old and become grandma,

we might still call each other "Anh & Haeng", in khmer: "អញ & ហ្អែង"

ពីរោះឡើងដាច់សាច់ណាស់​ មែនហ្អេ៎? Hahaha​

That's not good!

Who knows, we'll might call each other, "Yeay yeay", in khmer: "យាយ​ យាយ" instead.

I guess only our friends we've known from our childhood always use this improper words to call each other, but I know it makes us feel closed though.

Heeheeheee

ចុះអ្នកទាំងអស់គ្នាវិញ?

បែបហៅគ្នាថា​ អាងាប់ អាប្រកាច់ ហៅត្រកូលគ្នាម៉ាកំប្លេរ ដូចតែគ្នាហ្នឹង!​

My baby needs a pair of specs too!

Haahaa!

The excitement of learning separates youth from old age. As long as you're learning you're not old.

Khmer New Year is around the corner and I feel normal. I don’t have that jump-up-and-down moments I used to have anymore. Today students start saying goodbye to their school for their short vacation of 15 days! Today people start dancing and playing Khmer Traditional games in their communities. Today some companies start throwing Khmer New Year party for their employees. Today some people would start planning their trip and some would get ready to go to their homelands. And today, I start thinking about my plan for my family too.

As a little child back then, Khmer New Year is a big celebration for me. Excitement is shooting off in all directions. If I were young again, today I might say good bye to my chums, hoping to meet again when the vacation is over so that we could brag about how our new year was. If I were young again, today, mum would buy me new sets of clothes and shoes and I could have a lot of cookies and candies to eat. If I were young again, on 1st day of New Year, I would become a rich kid by getting A LOT of MONEY from my folks!!!! Hehehe this is the best part of all. If I were young again, on 2nd day of New Year, we all would gather at grandma house and I would get more money and my cousins and I would play Kla-Klok game. If I were young again, on the 3rd day of New Year, my family and I would go on a trip somewhere and our best favorite place is beach. If I were young again, New Year celebration would last until the day we go back to school, back to cool again.

Thing has been different when you’re not young anymore. As an elder daughter, Khmer New Year becomes a big celebration for my family instead. And there are only happiness lies in when seeing my family have their great time. Like any previous years, I’m setting my limited budget for my family. Here is the little thing I normally do: Buying new set of clothes for mum and grandma; preparing some money to give to my brothers and cousins and spending for family trip.

Like any other people, I love my responsibility in my family. I’m grateful that I’m able to share their responsibilities. I want to give them everything. I want to provide them all the things I think they need and want without them asking. I only want the best for them. I wish I could tell them how much they mean to me.

Anyway, I think my English and writing is losing now.

The Legend of Slek Krei & Spey Kdoup

Kunna: "Eiii ya, talking about having babies already huh??? How about the big day? Soon, I wish!"
Panharath: "I've wanted to have babies yu hay!!! Min doch jea Neak Neang Slek Krei te!!! Ot jang upgrade tov Lok Srey te reu??"

Sovathary: "You see? Kunna. She's more speedy than you are. You're going to lose a race to the Children Village in no time! ahahahaha...!"

Inspired by a pot of conversation of Some Oldie Veggies in my previous post.
C'est le dessin de Mademoiselle SOVATHARY BON!
This girl never failed to tease us - especially me!
And I laughed my head off!

Since when I last posted “Special Post to Nathary? Here is another one!

I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT!

Don’t you know that I’m always your secret admirer, N? Don’t you know how much I love your talent? Don’t you know how much I wish I were 5 years old, and you were my professor? Who helps teaching me how to read, to draw, to play… etc. like my professor did back in my old time in my fav Bib? Don’t you know how unique you are? Don’t you know reading The Half-Blood brought out the girl in me?! And I wish I turned back to the time I was having fun, innocent with some my bestfriends (Lop Lop as Cammie & Alissa!)

I never asked how you feel now about your book writing – If you don’t mind telling me in comment. In case you’re still insecure about your story: STOP being idealistic, and give yourself credit! But I guess, you’re proud of yourself already, otherwise you wouldn’t start another one! And I can’t wait to read it! I remember the first time you handed your book to me, you kept babbling too much about how your story wouldn’t attract me, and how I might be disappointed after reading yours… blah blah. I understand the nerve you had back then. But let me tell you something, it’s unexpected, creative, imaginative, witty, innocent, and quirky, even crazy—I might add….. and GENIUS etc. Do not judge the book by the cover/title. Your story is way more than simple story. Reading yours, I stood between the triangle line -- Ancient world, modern world and far future. Boooo to Twilight Saga. I think yours is far better. I really want to go into the head of yours to see how high your creativity is! I need to ask you, “How? How? How you could come up with the plot of the story? How?” You have a full sense of humor, reading this romantic comedy, I laughed like an idiot and some parts also brought me tears! Some other time, I wish I could reach my hand in the book and knock Vivian in the head ma ka nhor te! LOL

Seriously, it’s such a waste if it’s not being published. You should think of something to make a good use of it. Like, for example, make some copies and donate them to those adorable kids who like reading… etc. hehehe just an idea! How many readers you have already? I want to publish yours online. There are a site—Khmerbird.com (I bet you must heard of it) I want to recommend your book to him. He can post it to his site, I’m sure. It’s a popular site. I follow his site from time to time and I used to read his story too—Malai. I want to let other people know that there’s a Khmer girl out here—a genius, who has a great ability to write like a pro. Or you don’t want it to be read by other people? FINE! That’s how the Introverts are!!! But if you happen to change my mind, let me know! hehehe :P

I’m sorry I didn’t get to grab it and read it from the first time you gave me. I hope you understand why. Haha. Ended up checking my head regularly is not fun, you know? Now that I’m too free, I’ve done reading in January. Thank Buddha, your book was sitting up there on my tiny bookshelf and didn’t kick up a fuss, or I would have been a dead meat by Vivian –The half-blood.

Ooops! Another very long post! Hey, I tried to summarize os lathapheap hay!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

The year of Dragon!

I believe most Chinese people wish to have Dragon babies by this year! The Dragon is one of the most wanted zodiac animals. Umm… even though I’m not sure why. But I can tell Chinese just love dragon. My best friend and I’ve always wanted to have Dragon son since we were in high school too. She loves dragon because she’s a dragon herself and I love Dragon because I love Dragon boy! Only because I noticed that they’re mischievous creature! That’s all.

Anyway, my birthday fell on Feb after Chinese New Year, so according Chinese Lunar Calendar, I’m one of a Dragon people! Too bad I’m not a boy. But according to Khmer calendar, I’m a Rabbit! I don’t like the fact that I’m both Rabbit and Dragon though! A brother once told me, “Don’t be upset. Instead, you’re blessed with powerful Dragon body and a smart Rabbit head!” I delighted just to hear that though. Haha.

I don’t believe in Zodiac indeed. Because the more I know about their superstitions and beliefs, I find it more ridiculous and in disbelief! For instance, my ex-big boss--who is a Singaporean, told me that Tiger people are not desirable people for Chinese, especially Female Tiger. Female tigers are not allowed to attend weddings because they believe they would bring bad luck to couple. Can you believe that? What on earth!

My family mostly were born in Rat, Rabbit, Dragon, Monkey and Pig. Because of their zodiacs, I want my kids to be born in those years too. Simply like that!

But remember, we have both positive and negative traits! Agree with it or not, I would say, the things we’ve done, the places we’ve been to and thick-and-thins we’ve gone through are the only things that make us become US today! And the beautiful and amazing people are the ones who know how to carry it all along!

Dance, Dance, Dance

“Like we said, we'll do what we can. Trytoreconnectyoutowhatyouwant,» said the Sheep Man. «Butwecan'tdoitalone. Yougottaworktoo. Sitting'snotgonnadoit, thinking's-notgonnadoit.»

«So what do I have to do?»

Taken on top of Busra waterfall, Mondulkiri.

«Dance,» said the Sheep Man. 

«Yougottadance. Aslongasthemusicplays. Yougotta dance. Don'teventhinkwhy. Starttothink, yourfeetstop. Yourfeetstop, wegetstuck. Wegetstuck, you'restuck. Sodon'tpayanymind, nomatterhowdumb. Yougottakeepthestep.Yougottalimberup. Yougottaloosenwhat-youbolteddown. Yougottauseallyougot. Weknowyou're tired, tiredandscared. Happenstoeveryone, okay? Justdon't-letyourfeetstop.»”

― Haruki Murakami

Adorable stuffs!

I found Etsy is pretty nice. Those little things are just so, so and so adorable! I love those bangles and earrings. I’m thinking of customizing them with my birthstone and silver for my birthday. I know where to make it less expensive than that online shop. My birthstone is amethyst. So I need to find amethyst gemstone first. Where?!

Draw me the warm sunlight; sketch me the chilly breeze and paint my world in shade of fall.

I won't deny that I wish to have an autumn views here in Cambodia.

Khaer KADEK Tleark Kjol (Autumn Season) has rolled around for few days already, but I don't feel a slight chill of the breeze. I guess we can't feel it this early but in a week or so. Do you think autumn is a great excuse to get warm and cozy and especially being lazy in this miserable chill? I pretty much do. But usually I don't find myself being lazy during this season thought, but more productive. I think during autumn here, people are being more active than ever. It's a marriage season after all. So Ah hah, you see my point. They gotta run around checking those things off their to-do-list.

We can't expect much from autumn here though, except wedding invitations. Lolz. And I got 3 already. You can't see those beautiful views in hazel nuts or earth muddy or vibrant or warm beige or neutral color here, but there are times I saw some falling leaves on the ground and they took my breathe away.

So ladies – Yeay Yeay circle, I expect another Saturday cozy catch up in the yard of coffee shop, when we feel the chill touch us. What do you think? And this time I promise to bring my knitting stuffs along. Haha.

when i become a mommy....

When I become a mommy to a little girl, I’ll tied her hair up with a crochet flower hairpin, dress her in a short flower swirly skirt with a white cotton spaghetti strap blouse and a pair of ballerina shoes, then we’ll go on road trip to find out why birds live in trees, butterflies can fly and what makes blue skies blue.

And when I become a mommy to a little boy, I'll dress him in a knee-length khaki jean with a white T-shirts, a pair of sneakers and a cap, then we'll go on adventure to find out why the mountains are high, the lakes are wide and what makes blue oceans blue.

that's what storm is all about.

Taken on the way from PS to BTB, where you can always see the wide opened bluest

and blackest sky with masses of floating clouds.

"Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn't something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you.

So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn't get in, and walk through it, step by step. There's no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That's the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.

And you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You'll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.

And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about."

— Haruki Murakami (Kafka on the Shore)

Old & Grey & in love.

Mr.&Ms. Opal & Amethyst Love.

Well, don't you want to be mine? I mean, to be one of them???
Stay calm and become my toys! I've never owned a Human Toy. Be mine, plz!!
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

Taken when I tucked them in and sing a good night song. lolz

Every moment I look at my new toys, 'Aging' & 'Future' & ‘Forever’ are on my dictionary of the day. Besides continue eating everything that life put in my plate, best or worst, I try to consume more supplements that I think it is the best nutrition for nurturing my faith.

Because one day, even the young will be old. Those children, playing so happily in the park, will be the elderly men and women who sit on the bench watching another generation ride those swings. I wonder on what I want to take with me into the future and what I can preserve from the present and the past. If I can take my faith along with me, my hope, my tolerance, and my belief in the better side of human nature... perhaps, I can ensure that the most important part of me never ages.

So let's fill our heart with LIGHT and LOVE.

And... let's get married, singletons! lolz jkd.

The remain of the day.

Maybe it's beyond what you expect.
The impossible expectation you yearn for after a long tiring day.




I've finally traveled 24 provinces and I'm proud of it.

During my travels, I fell in love often with countryside, esp. BTB where I could see beautiful clouds move back and forth; PL where you could never tired to enjoy the bluest sky on the summer day; MDKR where you can find the most greenest place for a better escape; RTNKR where you can see the most beautiful stars, and sky; KCG, the most peaceful place I once I think might end up there at my very old age... etc.

And maybe there's one noisiest, muddiest, and stressful place where you chase your life for life, but then, and the end of the day, if you could find something less stressful, but yet beautiful and romantic, that would be the best warming moment of the days. Like a quote from a book below:

"Beyond the wall that marked the end of the terrace, I could see for miles around the windows and back yards of the neighboring properties. A lot of the windows were lit, and the ones in the distance, if you narrowed your eyes, looked almost like an extension of the stars. This roof terrace wasn't large, but there was definitely something romantic about it. You could imagine a couple, in the midst of busy city lives, coming out here on a warm evening and strolling around the potted shrubs, in each other's arms, swapping stories about their day."

I particularly like the last line.

And for some reason, I'm stricken by this picture. It's taken on the 32th floor of Canadia Tower. I've never seen something like on the day time with my naked eyes, except the last 3 years I was on the plane. But it's definitely something else I utterly fell about it. Because I see it with a feeling. Because right now, it gives me a glimpse to remind me how life eat me up from the inside with my everyday stress and strain.

Last 3 years, it was the beginning, it's hard to see everything with my true feeling.
And today, I have plenty of times to be torn in between, to shout, to scream out loud and to tell what I've been feeling and how my days look like.

And that's SUCK!

M-Mum.

It's May. And it's Mother's Day. Soon. Time for present. At least, something to make the day for our beloved people. Like, this is my motto now, when you come from a trip, don't forget a little gift. At least, to me. Because maybe I've grown up receiving those from Uncle & Dad. And at this age, I feel like I'm following their footsteps.

So speaking of which, there's something I think it's really cute about it. From the very since, Dad always gets mum a make up kit, which I think why doesn't he just get her a lipstick instead? Because mum doesn't wear make up, except lipstick! Mum never get the reason why he always get her that, though how much he doesn't like when women with a make-up on.



Well, I got presents from mum and mum-to-be bestie.

Happy Mother's Day.
And this blow-your-soul-away song, which is written by Rachel Aldous*, is for my mum & mum-to-be bestie, as well as mothers in the world who loves their children unconditionally.

I’m imperfect but I perfectly love you.
I love you dearly and Happy Mother's Day.




*See Rachel Aldous heart-felt interview here and below is the song called, 'A Mother's Prayer'.

I like myself better when I'm with you.

Fried vermicelli + Choco cookies + Sesame Milk + Modern Family = EXCEPTIONORDINARILY GREAT!

Modern family was the best treat for my holidays (finally, I could make time to watch it). Well, to be exact, the best ending treat. I love it more than The Simpsons. But watching Modern family, I've gone through some thoughts, though it cracked me up so hard to catch my breath.

I happened to think how imperfect every family is. So does mine. I'm sure everyone has stories to tell. Best and Worst. Well, I think maybe we don't treat each other perfectly, but we love each other wholeheartedly. And I believe, like the wise old said, The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. If you have your own family, treat and shape them the best. Never neglect. Never Violent. Never Silent. I'm going to make mine the best I can be proud of. Esp, my kids. :D:D:D

Oh again, Modern family is truly the best. Laugh but then you learn something from it and you appreciate your family more than ever.

And I'm so relaxing and so addicted with this meaningful song:
HARBOR by Vienna Teng.

Sail your sea
Meet your storm
All I want is to be your harbor
The light in me
Will guide you home
All I want is to be your harbor

I'm an INFP, and you?

I found this test is pretty much interesting. It, at least, is 85% true.

And with couple time I tried the test, I still got INFP which described as Introverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving. With these qualities, I googled them around and found it's quite interesting, you know, rather than horoscope-something.

In this Portrait of an INFP page, they explain about INFP's personality as an idealist. And with this page, they talk about the INFP's types and personal growth and stress, which is much more interesting. Speaking of which, this page and this page, they describe about INFP's relationships, strength, weakness, as lovers, parents and friends. Oh I like it!

And there are some points below I laugh about as being an INFP:

This is about stress which is pretty much true: "As with all NFs, the INFP will feel lost and perplexed at stressful times. As stress builds, INFPs become disconnected from their own personality and perceived place in life. They will lose sight of who they are in relation to time and place. They may not make basic observations, while instead they will focus on the more abstract and symbolic meanings of a particular interaction. This can sometimes baffle those who expect more direct communication and a fairly concrete relationship."

And wow this part is somewhat did a wake-up call for me: "INFPs are withdrawn and are sometimes hard to get to know. Some may view them as shy. But those that take the time to get to know them will find them warm and gentle, with a surprising sense of humor. They care deeply for those they consider special friends. Putting forth-unusual sacrifices to help such individuals. They often have a subtle, tragic motif running through their lives — inner pain and unease which others seldom detect."

And this one, it's so true!!! "INFPs are not naturally interested in administrative matters such as bill-paying and house-cleaning, but they can be very good at performing these tasks when they must. They can be really good money managers when they apply themselves."

And this one is a good part to consider about: "Think of a situation in your life in which you were not sure how to behave. Now try to understand how one or two other people would see the situation. Do not compare their behavior to your own, i.e. “she would know better than me what to do,” or “why is it so easy for her, but so hard for me?”. Rather, try to understand how they would see the situation. Would it be seen as a problem, or as an opportunity? Would it be taken seriously or lightly? Try to determine their point of view without passing judgment or comparing it to your own."

But I like this part a lot... this is INFP's motto: "To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive – to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before.” — Rollo May

and how's about you??? Check out this test here.