DON'T

The most important thing is not to let yourself get impatient. This is the only advice for you: DON’T GET IMPATIENT. Even if things are so tangled up, you can’t do anything, don’t get desperate or blow a fuse and start yanking on one particular thread before it’s ready to come undone. You have to realize it’s going to be a long process and that you’ll work on things slowly, one at a time.

Do you think you can do that?

Norwegian wood by Haruki Murakami

My answer: I'll TRY!

"Did you just cry?" mum asked, "huh? no way!" I said

I wish I could say "YES!"

Yes because I want to explain.
Yes because I don’t want to live in this hard feeling.
Yes because I just want to release.
Yes because I just want to escape.
Yes because I want to clear the air.
Yes because I want to be back home.

I’ve been spending my weekend at home and sleep, sleep and sleep. So that everyone won’t ask me how’s thing going, about this and that. So that I don’t spill thing out. So that I won’t become a queen of babble. So that things won't go worst than it is.

But now I’m here to face another worst day. How long will it takes?
It's a really hard feeling.
It’s just so hurtful.
I hate dealing with it.

I’ve been talking to my love ones and they said, “Dear, come back home! We’d rather having you here!” and after I hear it, all I want to do is cry, cry and cry.

I just realized that I’m such a cry baby.

And I can't believe I’ve cried for her for many times already.
She makes me high and she’s also the one who makes me low, very low.

I just don't know why she likes taking everything as assumption?

But I learn one thing for it.

Sometimes we don't need to try fixing things, we won't know how worst it's gonna turn out.

my plates, my life.

Trip to Malaysia was canceled. It's a little bit sad, but I can save a lot of money for mum. I went home today and stayed there for almost a day. I felt so great, I can say!

And, here is what I just figured out.

Sometimes, life feels like a slow, painful trek through a field of mud. Sometimes, it's a merry dance through a meadow of flowers on a warm spring day. What makes the difference? It's not money, as many a miserable millionaire will testify. It's not love, that's sometimes subject to stress. It's the existence of hope that makes us want to celebrate... and the apparent absence of it that creates despair.

Pheak's camera Canon 40D.

One more thing which give me stress and strain is the sake of happiness.

I've been trying so hard on emotion part. And I'm tired. I feel like I'm not me at all! Because I thought I should change my life. I believed I could let go of something in order to get something new. So that I can make this life grows. But It's definitely unpleasant. And I know this is how life grows. To go through all pain endurance.

BUT, the pain I'm talking here is about missing every elements of my life.

I miss long talk about my days with mum and dad every evening when I get home. hanging out and sharing laugh with friends. riding motorbike in breezy evening with bong Ny and J.Nha. having lunch and evening out with B gang. listening to musics and reading favorite books till mid night. Having fun with bong bong at lunch and night out. Weekend of visiting uncle's home.... etc

I realized that what I'm doing the most is focusing on only one thing and forget about other things in life. Today, I just noticed that a lot of birthdays passed and I missed a lot of it. my friend's birthdays and my friend's graduations.

Isn't it elements of life we should balance and we don't want a single of them drop out like many plates we try to hold it all at once?

I definitely don't want to live alone in this world alone and leave everyone behind like this. I don't want to focus on nothing at all like this. It's unpleasant.

However, I've decided to go away from my comfort zone.
But the thing is I should learn to balance it! I don't want to drop out many plates while I'm trying to hold one. I must figure out how to maintain my life and put all my plates in order!

Okay, what I really want to whine here is I don't see I grow an inch of what I'm trying to do and... I just miss everyone.

10 principles

1- Everything you need to be happy is inside of you.
2- The purpose of life is for you to grow into the best human being you can be.
3- Change is inevitable, so stop resisting and surrender to life's flow.
4- All obstacles are lessons in disguise-honor them and learn from them.
5- Your mind creates your experience of reality, so make your mind your friend.
6- Fear will steal your aliveness-make your courage bigger than your fear.
7- You must love yourself before you can truly give love or receive love from anyone else.
8- All relationships are your mirrors and all people are your teachers.
9- True freedom comes from how you respond to life and not what life does to you.
10- Whatever the question, love is the answer.

Secrets about life every woman should know
By: Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D.

-----

When you read these 10 principals, you might be not really into it, unless you read the whole points described in this book. While you're reading it, you will think, "Oh! That's exactly me!"

Okay, it's definitely not a self-help, but it's about experience and lessons in her life and everyone's life.

I'm now on Secret # 2. It's been a hell of weeks to finish this number 2. Not because it's a very thick book, but I can read only a page per day.

And one sentence that I think it's an inspiring message is:
"Because I make a mistake doesn't meant I AM a mistake!"

Don't you think it's a wonderful phrase to remember?

Sometimes, do you have to live your life by chaining up yourself with too much questions and worries?

Questions which begin with 'how', 'where,' or 'when,' are comparatively easy to answer.Those that start with ‘why’ tends to be trickier. For every 'because' there's a 'but.' Usually, too, if you go down this road of inquiry, you find it soon leads to yet another, even bigger 'why?' Like it or not, you now have to scrutinize a bunch of reasons and 'justifications' that you normally allow yourself the luxury of taking for granted. Instead of asking 'why,' try restricting yourself to the slightly less impossible, 'why not?'

And, this is the only word I keep reminding myself.

Well, why not?

I really can't see why, but I try 'giving my all' to the journey rather than holding back and being half-hearted and try putting up with everything and ready to make mistake to be better!

Because I believe as soon as I set off properly, I'll see a dramatic improvement in the scenery. And I'll also be delighted to leave all those 'ifs', 'buts' and 'maybes' so far behind.

And I know it must take long time!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who'll decide where to go.
~Dr. Seuss