Silence has its use

Right now, I’m not in mood of music like I’m always, but silence. Because I keep thinking about the shadow of a girl who entered my office, my co-worker told me about a moment ago, which make me goosebumps sometimes, and because I keep sneezing which I lost the counts and I wanna be silent just to listen to the sound I sneeze, sneeze and sneeze and the rings of remembering running in and out mind right now. Because of the silence itself has brought me a lot of things to think about, just to forget about the ghost things at this late hour, which make me push aside my works I’m doing. So right now I’m thinking about:

- My inspirations.
- My two-bit determinations.
- About how I really want to try new recipes at home.
- About how much I want to bring to grandma to my uncle's house to visit her little grand-daughter .
- About how much I want to cleanse my room and my closet.
- About topic of marriage we always had on table at home, which I want to talk about it over and over again, which I want to make them understand about me.
- About my past experience which make me become who I am.
- About all the encouragements I’ve got from my beloved ones that I should be a person to be proud of.
- About everyone who so much always care about me, but I’m careless about them. About people who I care the most, but she doesn’t really do and I have to commit to be selfish at time. Because I’m leaning to care about myself, and care about people who care about me.
- About a dear sister’s wedding next month. About how much I want to help her.
- About some old people whom I do respect and some old people I’ve just met. They are great.
- About a dearest sister who is going back to State this 29th and I just hung out with her only one time since I’ve been busy with my own stuffs.
- About my family who I hardly see their faces since I’ve always offed from home from dawn to dark, from Monday till Sunday and every time I reached home at night, I have to be in room to do my translations.
- About a dearest sister who I hardly make her talk her heart out about what she has and hides in mind, what the troubles she’s facing nowadays.
- About my peers who gave up sms or called me because I’ve rarely replied and they said it’s hard just to meet me. As in fact, I missed them and I just... Well, I have no idea either. I think I want to tell them to keep in mind that this does not indicate that I'm growing apart; it's just that I need a lot more personal space now than usual. Because I have special opportunity to learn something about who I am if I can find some time to be by myself.
- About my very very old and closest friend from primary school who always gives me hundred missed calls every night and day, even every times he goes to his loo at night, he also gave me a ring just to bother my sleep and just to let me know he’s doing his loo. And I so much want to kick his ass for bothering me. I wanna spend time to talk with him about his girlfriend, about every fun things and the things to share. I want to bring him to have his hair-cut and nag about how awful he is with his so-gay hairstyle, and so much I want to have a very loud talk and argument and laughter with him, which always make my throat turn dried.
- About my long lost kindergarten friend from CCF, who just called a week ago, to meet up this week, but I completely forgot.
- About many new people whom I haven't met and want to meet and have fun time with.
- About the things I would regret just because of what I am doing.
- About many stacked-up things I have in my head to write about, but I can’t, and I’m afraid I forget.
- About people who I didn't know I hurt them, but knowing that is not my faults at all. So they hurt themselves.
- About many things to think about, which are not tangible, which I’ve forgotten just now.
And
About how to manage all of these...

Vietnam Trip part 1

I’ve escaped to Saigon for 3 days. It's my third trip to other countries and I'm happy. Everything I've never seen always excite me. And I can't help to feel that way. Though it appears so simple to other people. But I don't care. I'm still excited with myself, with my own eyes and with what I've seen.

So it’s hard not to fall in love with the view of the city, not to mention about people. We would see some tall buildings; all the full-hug trees standing in range along the street; the coffee houses at everywhere we turn; the feel of clean-enough city would be called. Tell me if it’s not deserved to be called one of a nice city. That's what I love about. For people, some people are really friendly, esp old people.

At malls, I enjoyed looking at those beautiful and sexy women, not just looking but gawking. Also all the superstar-style-like teenagers. Gosh, they are fashionistas!!! I was fully amazed with those kids' hairstyle. They just look like Anime in comic. For the boys, they have those super funky hairstyle, like Naruto, but with those no-ended-fang-like hairstyle. Obviously, their hair is longer and higher than Naruto. And for the girls, their hairstyle are cute. They have their hair like Japanese superstars. However, only them who we could speak English to.

Anyway, enjoy the Saigon and Dai Nam pictures...
For self-pictures will come in next post.

Oh, btw, Happy Birthday To Bong THEA! The one in blue shirt standing in the middle of 3 people in this above picture!
One more year older, bong, hahaha but it's ok it's 1 year wiser! But I wonder why he replied my sms as, "Cam Ern!" ????? Hmmmphh!
A great night is going to be happen in few hours!
Weeeee

We all walk in the dark and each of us must learn to turn on his or her own light

How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself?
There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions.
You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.

Barry Lopez, Arctic Dreams

In the memory's telephoto lens, far objects are magnified...

To read it, you have to click on the picture to enlage.

Taken at Ratanakiri 2005 by Bong Roth or Bong Ratha [I don't remember]

Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen to one again. Willa Cather

That's what I love about you

Taken at Wat Somroarng, Memut.

Tomorrow is mother’s day. Everyone always have a celebration or maybe have a small gift for their mother. I would love too. But I think even if we don’t have this mother’s day, we still can always surprise her in anyway. And I know most old people love gifts given by their kids.

For mum, I think I don’t have any gift for you quite often. And when I have sth for you, you just love it all the heart. By wearing your heart upon your sleeves, I’ve seen it. You’ve always consider it as a precious thing I give you. And I silently had my heart-felt swinging by emotion. That’s what I love about you.

You used to mention about new stuffs for kitchen, and I asked why we don’t just buy it. Then you said you would rather want a whole new modern cooker with a large lovely home. I felt suddenly sad, knowing that I cannot fulfill this dream. I wished I would have it for you some days in a long run future, as I’m not sure I can. It’s pathetic. There’re many things I can’t fulfill for you, even just wee little things and the worst is I'm not sure If I can do. I tried to imagine how you would have always feft when you know that you can’t get what your kids want and need. Maybe so much more than how I felt at that time and right now.

However, for this mother’s day, I would love to have some new kitchen stuffs for you. I’m pretty sure you would be very happy. But I hope you won’t keep it new! lolz

Right now, I feel want to write down about everything I love about you. It’s gonna be very long to be written all the things. And I know I have to state some facts to keep its minimum. But I don’t care! I have trouble of making things short.

Well, I don’t know if we are like mother and daughter? Or older sister and younger sister? Or a pair of bestie friends? I don’t know, what I meant is, I feel like we both can be all of this together. But to me, I think it’s a real meaning of being mother and daughter. Mum can be a sister and friend, who we can always share every common senses.
That’s all I love about you.

I feel like I’m going back to be a little girl who used to find any excuse just to get money from you again. Yes I am right now. I wish I could know a thing about finance management, so that you don’t need to worry about how I don’t know how to save. You said I'm a spendthrift and I don’t know the meaning of the word, “Save or Accumulate or Cutting Back”. You said you should take me to a class and let someone lecture me how to, “Save For Rainy Day!” Though I have much trouble with this "Saving" term and I hate it when you nag about it, but still... That’s what I love about you.

But I’m sorry, Piggy bank you bought me? Ha-ha and what’s about my not-piggy bank? Leave it empty?? Do I need to furtively make a hole of it like I used to? It utterly made me burst out into a very hard laugh.
And that’s what I love about you.

You just made us laugh our tummy out! And now you appear to be more funnier. We all would rather sit at our small kitchen all together listening to your nagging while laughing hard at it. Because we found it’s so funny and you would not stop keeping on it! And we continue to laugh and laugh at what you keep telling, saying, nagging and all that jazz, and you don’t really care what we laugh about.That’s what I love about you.

When my peers visit, you just can be a member of our group. You just can be a friend with us. You are congenial. That’s when I see you appear more younger. You just can be funny and amusing with them. Being with you, they don’t need to be proper, or have their good manner or be orderly. They can be themselves in any way. You just always welcome and accept just the way they are. You've never had any negative comments about my peers.
That’s what I love about you.

We laugh when you speak English. You would just speak it out and then asked what its real meaning. That’s when I love about you. I remember last time, I was driving along the way back home, and you rang to ask me in English, “WHERE ARE YOU?” I said in English, “I'M ON THE WAY!” then you doubtfully asked in Khmer, “What does it mean, ‘I’m on the way?’” I just burst into a very hard laugh and explained you its meaning, then you laugh and laugh.
That’s what I love about you.

Now you are a primary Khmer teacher at a Mandarin School and you would just come up with Mandarin sentences you just learned from your students and made its sound very funny. And we laugh again. It’s hard for people and your students not to love you, even when you taught in public school. I remember you told us about some parents who came and told you that their children insist to have class with you again. Yes, it showed that you have their love and respect. By the way, at your public school you teach, there are a lot of poor students, and all you have to do is to give, give and give. Look at how you got their love. MUCH.
That’s what I love about you.

Most of time, we all five members would just sit or sleep next to one another and talk about this and that and when we find something funny, we laugh. The thing is you would be the one who laugh, laugh and laugh, which made us laugh, laugh and laugh too, but then we wonder what is so funny to you. And you would just be unable to help yourself to speak.
That’s what I love about you.

The moment I would treasure the most is when you and dad sing and dance with each other. It’s so beautiful and very sweet moment of being a growing-old couple. Sometimes, dad would always give us some technique how to dance when he couldn’t resist of hearing the rhythm of any music, especially ChaCha, Madison and Bolero. He’s really good dancer. My both men I ever love the most in this world are really good at dancing. The other one, needless to say, is my Mr. Perfect, who is my Uncle. Mum, you and dad just like singing the traditional and oldies song together. We just shut the door and sing in the room out loud and three of us just sit and listen and laugh while you both are singing.

In every occasion, especially our relative’s wedding, dad just loves asking you to dance with, even in room at home. Both of you were always be a first honor couple to start every song they play. But you sometimes just deny because you shy away at time in public, esp in a place that we don’t have many of our people, but I know a hundred percent sure, you really love to dance with dad.
That’s what I love about YOU and DAD.

Happy bd my faraway Miss Aussie!

Tomorrow, Ms. LOVE I sent to knock your door will sing you birthday song!

Lolz
From Cambodia to Australia...
From me to you...
I silently send you my warm-with-love wishing...

From morning till night
May your birthday be bright
And nicer than ever before……
And as years come and go
May your happiness grow
And your dreams be fulfilled
Even more...
But after all, the only special wish I have for you is,
the distance will has no more for bong pich and you.

Happy Birthday!

At least, I've spent a night to make it, though it's crappy, but hey, I cast my works aside and made it for you! teehee... Making this photos board while wondering if you like it, at least made me happy and forgot my troublesome problems. I promised myself to make you a real big photos board!

I know you won't be able to come to see my special post for you since you don't know I have this humdrum blog! teehee