Dreary October

I was anxious not to get things go, but then I tried to do.

I was anxious to be understood but I tried hard not to resent those who don't.

I was anxious for things to go my way when I wanted them to, but I took a breath and a big step back and tried to seek patience instead.

I was anxious to be loved unconditionally but I tried not to let that stop me from loving others and hard.

I was/am anxious to be happy with who I am, right here, right now, but I tried/try to give myself a break and just be happy.

That's what I've been trying. hard.



Now I'm aiming to set my eyes on my going-to-be everyday in the near future on taking in the moments and then letting them go; on forming few attachments, except to the ones who rock my world; on being thankful at the end of each day that I'd make it through and have enough leftover to live.

This October is going to be the most depressive and dreary month that I'm going to remember. Because I can't keep promise to myself to this post anymore.

Let's end it all here. October.
Say hello to my new chapter in the fresh November, which I wonder what it's going to have in store, especially without a single plan and goal at all.