I smile and shake my head, well we all write our own endings and we all have our own scars, but tonight I think I see what it's all about.

And I'm not gonna write it down. I'm saving them in my head.

Below is just some craps I want to get it off a little bit, which there are two things I'm really obsessed about:

1- Marriage & Pregnancy & Babies. I'm incredibly obsessed with it. Not because I want to get married, but I want to feel how it is to have a small living creature inside my tummy and how it is and how stress it is to be a master of everything with the new life. I want a change, really. I'm dying to experience it. Esp, when working on a new project related to it, I'm all for it. Anyway, so how to have baby without getting marriage? Single mom, i mean? Which is very INSANE, I know.

2- Health. Be aware of your well-being. Seek balance. We can't do anything without having a good health and I just realized it's very, very, and very important. So take a good care of yourself. Do regular check-up. Disease is everywhere and Stress is the worst of all in this new generation which lead to other illness. So, don't overwork yourself. Limit. Less ambition. Be Content. It's not fun when you're sick.

Anyway.

Homecoming by Vienna Teng.

This girl is really something. Epic.
After a long tiresome day, her songs calm my nerves.
And I'm feeling this beautiful song.

I just want to
be living as I'm dying
just like everybody here
just want to know my little flicker of time is worthwhile
and I don't know where I'm driving to
but I know I'm getting old
and there's a blessing in every moment every mile

I like myself better when I'm with you.

Fried vermicelli + Choco cookies + Sesame Milk + Modern Family = EXCEPTIONORDINARILY GREAT!

Modern family was the best treat for my holidays (finally, I could make time to watch it). Well, to be exact, the best ending treat. I love it more than The Simpsons. But watching Modern family, I've gone through some thoughts, though it cracked me up so hard to catch my breath.

I happened to think how imperfect every family is. So does mine. I'm sure everyone has stories to tell. Best and Worst. Well, I think maybe we don't treat each other perfectly, but we love each other wholeheartedly. And I believe, like the wise old said, The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. If you have your own family, treat and shape them the best. Never neglect. Never Violent. Never Silent. I'm going to make mine the best I can be proud of. Esp, my kids. :D:D:D

Oh again, Modern family is truly the best. Laugh but then you learn something from it and you appreciate your family more than ever.

And I'm so relaxing and so addicted with this meaningful song:
HARBOR by Vienna Teng.

Sail your sea
Meet your storm
All I want is to be your harbor
The light in me
Will guide you home
All I want is to be your harbor

Dear you, coffee & tea

My elegant-body mug of coffee looks really handsome on my desk! O.o

I successfully quit drinking you months ago. And I miss how your buddy, CL, everyday is full of you I longed for, but now it's being used for water. I bet your buddy miss having you in him too. However, without you, coffee, I amazingly lost 4 kg, but regretfully, nothing could give me a boost to start my freaking days ever. Who knows? I'm gonna get back to you someday. Just so you know, I can't stand a day without you. You lift me up! LOL

How about my not-that-big-ass mug of... Tea? No it supposed to be Honey! Look!!
Oh, just so you know, she's Asian. Yellowish! O.o

Teeeea time!!! Alright, I love you too, though not as much as I love coffee, but you, at least, help freshening up my days recently. I can start my days with a big-ass mug of you. Or maybe two. I now got other brand which comes in different kind of taste in one box and it's so classic!! Well, first it wooed me with its cute, colorful packaging and nice description, second, it reeled me in with it classic smell and great taste!!! Not that I forget about you, BonTea! But speaking the truth, It was just a willy-nilly chosen of you last time. Sorry. !O.o!

The good times are rolling. Are you rolling with them? Or do you fear they're rolling away without you? Don't be fearful.

Dear SHOES,

I've never have done this without you. You've always rolled with me when the good times are up in the air. Can't thank you for more for always got me from there to here. You've always taken me to many places to do many stuffs, to see many things. What I like about taking your shot, because you always reminds me of where I've been and the things I've done.

Thank you, shoes. teehee

And it reminds me of a quote by Eve Ensler:

"Cherish your solitude. Take trains by yourself to places you have never been. Sleep out alone under the stars. Learn how to drive a stick shift. Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back. Say no when you don’t want to do something. Say yes if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees. Decide whether you want to be liked or admired. Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you’re doing here. Believe in kissing."

Anyway, KNY is right around the corner!!!

I don't know what has in store, neither you nor me! But may your pair of shoes take you to wherever you wish to go, to get the chance of seeing what you wish to see, and to do whatever you want to do. Buddha bless!!!

So, Happy Khmer New Year!!! Spend it wisely, esp with your family.
I'm gonna spend it at home, how about you?

Too many things I haven’t done yet, too many sunsets, I haven’t seen.

Nonetheless, I’m blessed to experience those things, those romantic times, those sunsets, those sun lights. And they were beautiful and warmed up my soul. I want more. I want it forever. I want it with you, my future for life who, well, umm, I haven’t met. LOL.









Those beautiful things are:

- Night and Early morning silence, except the sound of bugs here and there.

- Yawns, yawns and yawns I lazily made each morning.

- Cold breeze I felt when I woke up.

- Soft light made its way through the pinhole of the wooden room to warm up the cold and to let us know, it’s time to get up.

- Rain and dew on the grass. I thought if water was cocktails, and I was the grass, I’d be sooo drunk and died to heaven right there.

- Weird feeling while walking with my bare feet on the wet morning grass and smelt the flowers. Oh, glistering with joy, except it itched me a little after walking back and forth for too long.

- Ooohh and aaahh with those beautiful creatures. Flowers and natures. The birds and the bees. The dragonflies and the butterflies. The excitement was jumping in and out of my bones.

- Kids. I could have died to have them with me when I was in those moments. Bee & Belle, of course. MissMissMiss.

- Laying on our back under the tall trees in the thick and dense forest, near the coolest and calmest lake, listening to the cricket’s songs, talking nothing but swapping our childhood stories and how our days went by. Once in a while the leaves fell, by dancing slowly in the air, while the sunlight making its way through the trees to touch our faces, then we laughed quietly.

- Beyond the top of the tree that marked the end of the woods, I could see the sunlight, and the blue sky. The birds sang, the crickets chirped and we played with the waters fissure. Stones were here and there. We massaged and we shampooed each other, we sang, we joked, we laughed, and we sank ourselves deepen right there in the water, and once in a while, we choked. I was absorbed with love and fun.

- Upon the sky, there’s the moon. The biggest and brightest one of the whole time. She only showed her pretty and charming face once every 20 years. Sweet sun, thank for sending me the moon. I glowed with love.

- Before putting ourselves into a peaceful rest, we give ourselves to best treat by rolling in under blanket with each other to watch those romantic yet funny movies until we fell asleep like the kids whom their mum warned not to watch late night cartoons, because it’s not good.

- On 2am, we woke up, doing nothing, but swapping again. Here we go, every-boys-we-met and how-the-love-went stories to tell to put ourselves back to sleep. And of course, I was always a good listener, but given that I got to understand deeply how it really felt by love, why not?



And I’m so soaked up with love just thinking about this dreamy moment, which made me think a lot about City of Romance, PARIS and City of Love, ITALY. How can I reach out to there?

We always made the best partners on trip. And perhaps, we’re made of PEACE, LOVE and HAPPINESS. LOL. Well, in fact, I got it from PINK, sugar scrub product. LOL.

P.S. Foolishly, I wish my big heart and pretty cousin was a guy I love, really. (Alright, I’m definitely not lesbian, in case, you worry about it. LOL)

Close your eyes and I'll kiss you, tomorrow I'll miss you; remember I'll always be true.

Taken at KGC while walking and biking around stadium.

Have you been losing perspective on the most important people in your life? Sure, you're warranted respect in what you're doing -- but at the cost of spending time with the friends and family who love you no matter what time you get to work each morning? In the long run, you are always going to remember the people who had your back, the people who share your private jokes and the people who tell you the truth because it's good for you. Put them first no matter what.

And I just did.

How far do I have to go to get to you...

My birthday was 3 days ago. So I’m 23 turning to 24. I don’t like the number, I tell you. heehee... Will anyone care to tell me how it was like being 24, 25 and 26? I want to know. I wish I could have done something I want to do, but well, I’ve now grown addicted to the things I’m doing. It’s non-stop and there’s no point of turning back. And I care no more.

Well, nothing comes out from my losing brain. And I feel like everything around me is losing but I tempt to get attached with the current busy life. It’s been years I said it a lot to my people, “Sorry, I’m busy” which concerns me that I might end up living in this life forever which I don’t want to. Because I want to see the light until I reach the end of the tunnel. I’m still walking in it. No light. And. Pretty dark. When I bump into something, like wall and it hurts a lot, but there’s nothing I can do but keep walking and finding ways. It’s pretty sick.

Despite of everything, people do have some moments for themselves.
So I still have fun and lovely times and happiness.

What has in store for me this year? I don’t know. But I want to achieve the things I’m trying to do. I’ve never achieved anything in life, but knowing I’m trying my best, I still want to do more and know more and learn more and fail more and hurt more and hope more and especially, love more. I want to experience all those things a person who I’m looking up to goes through.

And I love these songs a lot.

*** At KGC for works and family matters. Right now, I think a lot about my dad, my uncle, and my bestie.