To act like I’m alright and satisfied with life I’m living everyday is the foolish and bullshit thing I’ve been doing. Thought that I do exactly know how to fix it, but I just don’t really know how to get it fixed properly. Hence, Laughter is the best cover and I need to use it wisely. But sometimes, hiding the deepest emotions behind a veil of humor made me so sick and occasionally are about to burst out like hell.
If you asked me: “What make you lose in this state of feeling? Why you feel so discourage? What get you feel in this way since you apparently have nothing to worry about?” My answer will be: “It would be great if you could find me the answer, because I don’t even know what all are about now.”
Sometimes, trying hard to figure out what life is all about is just useless and merely waste time... In result, I always ended up with nothing, but I still insist to think about it over and over again, though I’ve already known the answer. Well, the answer I ever got from asking myself for so many times is “Life is more intricate... more and more than it seems”. I’m sure everyone also got the same answer... well.. well.. this answer, definitely!!!! Question: And what’s about the solutions? Answer: Just be yourself along the way! But sometimes, just feel discourage. It’s somehow like you only live through the spirit of your dream and waiting for the reality to show up!!! Question: So, what is the need to help to be myself along my way?? Answer: The inspiration. Hmmm well well well... Inspiration!! Where is that??!! *Look left look right* Inspiration is what life stand for! And I completely lack of it. Omg! Headache! Chaos! Chaos! However, In comparison to others people around me, I’m probably luckier… No need to compare to people who is better in their status and situation.
Hearing about a girl story made me feel a bit released of my life… At least, my life is much less complicated than hers. I really have no idea how to go on if I were her. In state of getting lost… in everything, but need to stand up in the name of life for god’s sake! What is it all about in this world, actually? Why is this world so mean to her? I wish I could do to mend better for her… But all I can do is just feel sorry for her and silently encourage her.
Related to my dream, I just hope I would be happy ever and ever… and helping others also consists in my dream. Seeing people happy is also spread a smile on my face and I could feel that is the most happiness I have, though. Thus, I wish I could help others, after my family. I’m actually not much interested in the material things of life and I’m not the one to run after money, but it doesn’t mean I’m against riches, I’m just simply more aware of its impermanence. I’m not greedy about anything, least of all wealth. Even though, I don’t have much ability to help them by any ways, but I could share those people with all my heart through my emotional and moral support. I believe that it must be something very useful for them to stand up for their own step.
Well… Honestly, when getting in the state of lost, I also wish I could have someone who backs me up and emotionally provide me plenty of courage. I’m sure others also need the same. I won’t be tired of being someone they need. Well, I take their feeling as my feeling, and so is my feeling.
Weeewwwwwwww… I’m a very simple and plain girl and ever and ever I’m still going to be a very simple and plain woman with my simple family without much ambition in my life, but peace and happiness. :D
Up for joy!
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