Massachusetts, It is good to see you again. And this time, I had a lot of fun and great time with my new girlfriends with a whole new experience. If only you realized that you were the point where my life have changed forever 6 years back. I bet you won't believe your eyes that I come back as a new brave, strong, proud and confident woman.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Dear Deja-Vu!
Massachusetts, It is good to see you again. And this time, I had a lot of fun and great time with my new girlfriends with a whole new experience. If only you realized that you were the point where my life have changed forever 6 years back. I bet you won't believe your eyes that I come back as a new brave, strong, proud and confident woman.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
It has been quite a while...
Friday, March 8, 2013
Another place, another story.
Having husband to help with little house chores after he is back from work is wonderful feeling, because I know I wouldn't find this best husband anywhere. This is one of the thing that I most appriciate. But anyway, I don't want to blah blah blah about my husband or how lucky I am here and now. Actually, there are many pictures in my camera--which my husband got me for my birthday few weeks ago, but I don't know what to post and I just have no idea what I want to talk about. In my camera, besides capturing my husband's face, my visit in D.C with my friend, and umm some testing pictures, there are only FOODS pictures that I cooked. Yes, my husband wants me to take pictures of every foods I make. But most of all, he knows I love photography and he wants me to enjoy taking photograph again.
Anyway, I'll try updating more and post what I have in my camera while working on our projects. Have I mentioned I just paint our office and family room downstair? Yes I have. I've done it by myself. Husband said I should be proud of myself, and here I am, I'm proud and pleased with what I have done. But without husband's encouragement and freedom to let me do what I want to do, I would never have done it. I'm glad I can pick up what I want to do and never had time to do it. I enjoy this simple pleasure. Now, I'm writing here as an initial step to get on with my little home projects and I'll try document it here. But right now, let's enjoy random pictures and video together!
There was a winter storm few days ago and we planned to walk down to have breakfast, but it started snowing heavily and I was freaking cold that I can't feel my hands and ears, so we just walked around the house and made this two random video clips. Bleh!
Okay, I'm too lazy to decide which photos I want to post and the computer is so slow, so later! Bye!
Friday, January 25, 2013
Goodbye, unlikely lover!
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
On the girlfriend I love the most!
I got it a lot from everyone and i got it a lot from her too whenever i meet her. But this time, she sent me her calendar to my whatsApp... and I'm sad. It's always sad to know that I'm going to leave the only one girlfriend I love the most and it tucks my heart more knowing how much she loves me after all these years.
Me: Hashaha sot ter Pom Pu!
She: My favorite name, mich jos? But I'm not ready to let you go. :(
Me: Not my favorite name, I tell ya! I'm not ready to leave too.
She: My new calendar always sad. :(
Me: Come on!
She: Bach come on ei tes!
Me: Smoooch! :*
She: Erk. Prir sombol nas!
Me: :P
I'm going to miss her a lot. I'm going to miss her when she like knocking my head, pulling my hairs, smacking me down, glaring at me and esp calling me "K'Pu" when she's mad!
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Until I become Cinderella!
To my incredible dancing partner, who my heart only beats for.
To my more, my life and my love.
Monday, November 26, 2012
The Entrepreneur
“Oh,” said Chris. “I think I remember you. But that was thousands of people ago.” I looked at the man and his daughter.
“I was one of the first people he asked,” I said proudly. They smiled nervously.
I stood back while Chris finished his pitch., then approached him again: “I can’t believe you’re still doing this,” I said. “What number are you on?”
“That was number 3, 456.” He handed me a business card: Ask a Million… A Social Experiment / Christopher Coon- Experiment Conductor. “I’ve got a website now too where people can make donations online,” he explained. “Let me show it to you.” Chris reached into his bag and pulled out a brand new lap top computer. “Some lady donated this to me.”
My eyes were real big now. “She gave you that for the project???”
“Yeah. Some Bulgarian lady. She just took me into Best Buy and bought it for me.” Chris and I sat down on a bench, and he began to pull up his website. “You can get free wireless anywhere in the park,” he said. He clicked around a bit until he reached his “Donation” page, where potential donors could provide a credit card number.
“Have you had people donate online?” I asked.
“Are you kidding me? Look at this.” Chris pulled out his smartphone, and began scrolling through his text messages. Every third line or so, in huge capital letters, were the words:ONLINE DONATION RECEIVED. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
“How much are those donations?” I asked.
“Mostly just a few dollars,” he said. “But some people give twenty.” He leaned in real close to me, and whispered: “I’m going to make six million dollars.” His ambitions were exploding. He’d experienced the entrepreneur’s first taste of success. And now he was hungry. He was getting entrepreneur thoughts. (If I’ve done this well already, just imagine…. ) The sky was the limit. And I wasn’t sure I was in a position to doubt him anymore.
“How are you going to make six million dollars?” I asked.
“The internet,” he said, reverently. He looked at me like I was a slow-learning chimp. ”Let me show you the traffic to my website.” He pulled up a daily traffic counter, and pointed to a number. It was a big number. I couldn’t believe it. In two month’s time, AskAMillion.com was getting more traffic than my website. Much more. And it was run by a homeless guy. Unfuckingbelievable. I was jealous. Actually jealous. Of a homeless guy.
“Hey Chris! What’s up?”
“Hey man, I thought you were going to call.”
“I was, but I thought that I’d wait until it cooled down a little.”
“Yeah it’s been hot as hell. But I’ve been working.”
“Did you go to Wall Street.”
“Yeah I did, but I worked eight hours and only got $2. That place sucks.” I laughed. I knew from experience just how difficult it is to get people on Wall Street to stop and talk to you. I couldn’t imagine asking people to fill out a survey for the privilege of giving you a dollar.
“I had a feeling that was going to happen,” I said.
“But a TV crew was following me. They got some good footage of people blowing me off.”Damn it, that was my angle. “Hey, check this out–” Chris unplugged a small, white, boxy contraption from his IPad. “Have you seen these? It’s called a square. It allows you to swipe credit cards. I can take any credit card now.” Chris had become the hyper-evolved panhandler that nightmares are made of— no cash? no problem. He handled his business like it was a race-car videogame. All his winnings went into new shocks, brakes, and nitrous oxide systems. Everyday he got bigger and faster. He was running a textbook operation here.
“Why’s that?”
“You’ve got a lot of ambition, a lot of energy, and a lot of business sense. You could be a millionaire right now. I mean, if you weren’t homeless. Why are you homeless again?”
“Cause I just got out of jail, I thought I told you that already.”
“You may have. But I forgot. Why were you in jail again?”
“I put my brother-in-law in a coma.”
“Yikes.”
“I mean, it wasn’t my fault. He brought a gun into my house. I probably held the headlock too long but he brought a gun into my house.”
“And that was the first time you got arrested?”
“Oh, no. I was arrested a few years earlier.”
“For what?”
“Burglary.”
“What did you steal?”
“I didn’t steal anything. That’s a common misperception about burglary. Burglary is actually trespassing in a place with the intent to commit a crime. I chased a guy into the back of a Starbucks and threatened to beat the shit out of him.”
“Yikes.”
“But it wasn’t my fault. He touched my leg. Like he was rubbing it. What am I supposed to do? I can’t let that happen.”
Everyone with a long history of assault talks about their previous altercations as if they were unavoidable. As if they had no choice but to fight. What was I supposed to do? LET him step on my foot? Brawlers are society’s most principled men.
“So that was the first time you got arrested?”
“No the first time I got arrested was when I was ten. Some kid kicked my leg and called my mom a ‘hoe.’ So I knocked him out.” I started laughing. I couldn’t help it. Chris kept turning minor conflicts into prizefights. ”You’ve got to understand,” said Chris. “My mom was the only person I cared about at that time. So I knocked him out.”
“Jesus, Chris.” I wanted to change the subject. “So where do you sleep?”
“Behind the Barnes and Noble.”
“Can you show me?”
“Yeah, but then I need to get back to work. I’ve got to take a bus to see my kids tomorrow, so I need to make at least $30.” We only had to walk a couple hundred yards to the place where Christ slept at night. When we got there, he asked if I wanted to see how he slept.
Chris has an Ipad 2, six business suits, a laptop, and the most-trafficed website of anyone I personally know. He’s done this in three months– while sleeping on a ledge. I know people with trust funds that play video games for a living. And they don’t even upgrade their car when they win a race. I thought back to the 420 people who commented on Chris’s lifestyle. They couldn’t do it. Who cares if his business is asking people for a dollar. (“I’m going to start selling my poetry. So people feel like they’re getting something.”) Look at the energy this guy has. He’s John D. Rockefeller. He’s Bill Gates–minus the education, minus a few teeth, minus a place to sleep, plus a long history of assault. He wants to make it big. (“I want to use this money for business school, but I’m afraid if I quit before one million, people will think it’s a scam”) Get out of here with your morals. He doesn’t want to work at McDonalds. You go work at McDonalds.
“For beating a kid up?”
“No. That’s when I was ten. When I was twelve, I tried to kill my stepdad.”
“You WHAT?”
“I tried to slit his throat when he was sleeping. It didn’t work.”
“You WHAT?”
“I tried to kill him. I wish I did. He beat my stepmom with a crowbar. He slit my tongue with a razor, and told me that’s what hell feels like. He burned my dog alive. He was a preacher, but he was evil. He used to smoke crack before church. That’s how he got me, he traded me for crack.”
“Wait, WHAT?”
“When I was a baby, my mom sold me to my stepparents for an eightball of crack.”
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Man! I feel like a woman!
Man! I feel like a woman!
Thursday, April 19, 2012
I miss us.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
The excitement of learning separates youth from old age. As long as you're learning you're not old.
As a little child back then, Khmer New Year is a big celebration for me. Excitement is shooting off in all directions. If I were young again, today I might say good bye to my chums, hoping to meet again when the vacation is over so that we could brag about how our new year was. If I were young again, today, mum would buy me new sets of clothes and shoes and I could have a lot of cookies and candies to eat. If I were young again, on 1st day of New Year, I would become a rich kid by getting A LOT of MONEY from my folks!!!! Hehehe this is the best part of all. If I were young again, on 2nd day of New Year, we all would gather at grandma house and I would get more money and my cousins and I would play Kla-Klok game. If I were young again, on the 3rd day of New Year, my family and I would go on a trip somewhere and our best favorite place is beach. If I were young again, New Year celebration would last until the day we go back to school, back to cool again.
Thing has been different when you’re not young anymore. As an elder daughter, Khmer New Year becomes a big celebration for my family instead. And there are only happiness lies in when seeing my family have their great time. Like any previous years, I’m setting my limited budget for my family. Here is the little thing I normally do: Buying new set of clothes for mum and grandma; preparing some money to give to my brothers and cousins and spending for family trip.
Like any other people, I love my responsibility in my family. I’m grateful that I’m able to share their responsibilities. I want to give them everything. I want to provide them all the things I think they need and want without them asking. I only want the best for them. I wish I could tell them how much they mean to me.
Anyway, I think my English and writing is losing now.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Draw me the warm sunlight; sketch me the chilly breeze and paint my world in shade of fall.
Khaer KADEK Tleark Kjol (Autumn Season) has rolled around for few days already, but I don't feel a slight chill of the breeze. I guess we can't feel it this early but in a week or so. Do you think autumn is a great excuse to get warm and cozy and especially being lazy in this miserable chill? I pretty much do. But usually I don't find myself being lazy during this season thought, but more productive. I think during autumn here, people are being more active than ever. It's a marriage season after all. So Ah hah, you see my point. They gotta run around checking those things off their to-do-list.
So ladies – Yeay Yeay circle, I expect another Saturday cozy catch up in the yard of coffee shop, when we feel the chill touch us. What do you think? And this time I promise to bring my knitting stuffs along. Haha.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Dreary October
I was anxious to be understood but I tried hard not to resent those who don't.
I was anxious for things to go my way when I wanted them to, but I took a breath and a big step back and tried to seek patience instead.
I was anxious to be loved unconditionally but I tried not to let that stop me from loving others and hard.
I was/am anxious to be happy with who I am, right here, right now, but I tried/try to give myself a break and just be happy.
That's what I've been trying. hard.
Now I'm aiming to set my eyes on my going-to-be everyday in the near future on taking in the moments and then letting them go; on forming few attachments, except to the ones who rock my world; on being thankful at the end of each day that I'd make it through and have enough leftover to live.
This October is going to be the most depressive and dreary month that I'm going to remember. Because I can't keep promise to myself to this post anymore.
Let's end it all here. October.
Say hello to my new chapter in the fresh November, which I wonder what it's going to have in store, especially without a single plan and goal at all.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
your month
Your birthday was a week ago. But I didn't have a chance to turn on laptop and post what I want to blog about. Pretty much there are many things I want to tell you, just like our old days, we fought by day and made up by night and swapped about this and that until we fell asleep and hug each other tight.
I wish you were here with us. But we can't be here together in this world as much as I want to, but I think when I feel a need, I can close my eyes and turn inwards and let the memories of our childhood take over.
P.S. I love how mum wrote about us at the back of our photos.
We always miss you.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
a beautiful quote for today...
— Bob Marley
Friday, July 1, 2011
I love it when I say 'I'm fine' and you never believe I am.
Because the bruises and wounds are almost removed and all that remains are the soon-to-be-healed scars and such.
I’m ready to bed now, but it occurred to me that someday I might forget the days (2months) I walked around with my almost blackout and dizzy head and blur vision with a week of the band-aids and bruise on my chest and hand and finally had enough of it, peeled it off, and left with these bruise and soon-to-be-healed scars (Week 2). And anyways, I can’t just go around forgetting things like that, which is happened to me for the first time. (I hope I didn't make it sound serious which is not at all.)
But this is not the only case. Because I think I just need to remember all the shivered sounds from their mouths, the worries from their faces, and esp. how they know exactly I'm not fine whenever I say 'I'm fine.'
Sometimes, I think I/we need people like this in life: People who never fail to express what is in their mind when you're not. Questionable people who you can trust unconditionally. People who see through you, but yet they love you. People who is always there for you and you can always turn to, while others look away.
And remember that they also need the same from you.
That's what called 'Love' I guess.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
when i become a mommy....
When I become a mommy to a little girl, I’ll tied her hair up with a crochet flower hairpin, dress her in a short flower swirly skirt with a white cotton spaghetti strap blouse and a pair of ballerina shoes, then we’ll go on road trip to find out why birds live in trees, butterflies can fly and what makes blue skies blue.
And when I become a mommy to a little boy, I'll dress him in a knee-length khaki jean with a white T-shirts, a pair of sneakers and a cap, then we'll go on adventure to find out why the mountains are high, the lakes are wide and what makes blue oceans blue.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Old & Grey & in love.
Well, don't you want to be mine? I mean, to be one of them???
Stay calm and become my toys! I've never owned a Human Toy. Be mine, plz!!
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
Every moment I look at my new toys, 'Aging' & 'Future' & ‘Forever’ are on my dictionary of the day. Besides continue eating everything that life put in my plate, best or worst, I try to consume more supplements that I think it is the best nutrition for nurturing my faith.
Because one day, even the young will be old. Those children, playing so happily in the park, will be the elderly men and women who sit on the bench watching another generation ride those swings. I wonder on what I want to take with me into the future and what I can preserve from the present and the past. If I can take my faith along with me, my hope, my tolerance, and my belief in the better side of human nature... perhaps, I can ensure that the most important part of me never ages.
So let's fill our heart with LIGHT and LOVE.
And... let's get married, singletons! lolz jkd.
Monday, May 9, 2011
The remain of the day.
The impossible expectation you yearn for after a long tiring day.
I've finally traveled 24 provinces and I'm proud of it.
During my travels, I fell in love often with countryside, esp. BTB where I could see beautiful clouds move back and forth; PL where you could never tired to enjoy the bluest sky on the summer day; MDKR where you can find the most greenest place for a better escape; RTNKR where you can see the most beautiful stars, and sky; KCG, the most peaceful place I once I think might end up there at my very old age... etc.
And maybe there's one noisiest, muddiest, and stressful place where you chase your life for life, but then, and the end of the day, if you could find something less stressful, but yet beautiful and romantic, that would be the best warming moment of the days. Like a quote from a book below:
"Beyond the wall that marked the end of the terrace, I could see for miles around the windows and back yards of the neighboring properties. A lot of the windows were lit, and the ones in the distance, if you narrowed your eyes, looked almost like an extension of the stars. This roof terrace wasn't large, but there was definitely something romantic about it. You could imagine a couple, in the midst of busy city lives, coming out here on a warm evening and strolling around the potted shrubs, in each other's arms, swapping stories about their day."
I particularly like the last line.
And for some reason, I'm stricken by this picture. It's taken on the 32th floor of Canadia Tower. I've never seen something like on the day time with my naked eyes, except the last 3 years I was on the plane. But it's definitely something else I utterly fell about it. Because I see it with a feeling. Because right now, it gives me a glimpse to remind me how life eat me up from the inside with my everyday stress and strain.
Last 3 years, it was the beginning, it's hard to see everything with my true feeling.
And today, I have plenty of times to be torn in between, to shout, to scream out loud and to tell what I've been feeling and how my days look like.
And that's SUCK!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
M-Mum.
So speaking of which, there's something I think it's really cute about it. From the very since, Dad always gets mum a make up kit, which I think why doesn't he just get her a lipstick instead? Because mum doesn't wear make up, except lipstick! Mum never get the reason why he always get her that, though how much he doesn't like when women with a make-up on.
Well, I got presents from mum and mum-to-be bestie.
Happy Mother's Day.
And this blow-your-soul-away song, which is written by Rachel Aldous*, is for my mum & mum-to-be bestie, as well as mothers in the world who loves their children unconditionally.
I’m imperfect but I perfectly love you.
I love you dearly and Happy Mother's Day.
*See Rachel Aldous heart-felt interview here and below is the song called, 'A Mother's Prayer'.
Friday, April 29, 2011
I smile and shake my head, well we all write our own endings and we all have our own scars, but tonight I think I see what it's all about.
Below is just some craps I want to get it off a little bit, which there are two things I'm really obsessed about:
1- Marriage & Pregnancy & Babies. I'm incredibly obsessed with it. Not because I want to get married, but I want to feel how it is to have a small living creature inside my tummy and how it is and how stress it is to be a master of everything with the new life. I want a change, really. I'm dying to experience it. Esp, when working on a new project related to it, I'm all for it. Anyway, so how to have baby without getting marriage? Single mom, i mean? Which is very INSANE, I know.
2- Health. Be aware of your well-being. Seek balance. We can't do anything without having a good health and I just realized it's very, very, and very important. So take a good care of yourself. Do regular check-up. Disease is everywhere and Stress is the worst of all in this new generation which lead to other illness. So, don't overwork yourself. Limit. Less ambition. Be Content. It's not fun when you're sick.
Anyway.
Homecoming by Vienna Teng.
This girl is really something. Epic.
After a long tiresome day, her songs calm my nerves.
And I'm feeling this beautiful song.
be living as I'm dying
just like everybody here
just want to know my little flicker of time is worthwhile
and I don't know where I'm driving to
but I know I'm getting old
and there's a blessing in every moment every mile














