Little bit of everything

I tend to think what we learn and how we become another person is the bit about going through something everyday. More-than-tired of not being able to overcome stacked-up things in mind, which are cryptically accumulated and leave me in limbo state, but still trying to appear as normal as possible. Life in limbo is not fun at all. This can be easily leads something unpleasant like boredom, frustration, feeling of edgy and despair. Despair!

From little bit of everything which have been through, little bit of everything in Past, little bit of uncertain things which desperately expect from Tomorrow and being here in the Now moment seeking an alternation to life in limbo. And I’m waiting for a point-arrow to show me the best way to go OR if i could have a magic compass, perhaps?

I get to think about the life-graphic Dad once mentioned about. The more I think of it, the more I'm worried. And lately, I often turn up thinking over and over again about the past. I've been rejected from what I've sacrificed for and I've blown off every opportunity that come to my way just to wait for my wanted one in quite a milestone, to be where I want to be, to get out of where I am, to make up all the things I've given up just to be here. IF only there's any warning sign to let me know if it’s not worth for waiting al all? So then, I wouldn’t wait anymore. So then I could make direction changed.

As much as I despair of what I’m waiting, as much as I’m getting sick with people, as much as I’m getting sick with this sickening-spot I’m in, I have a sudden roar-hit and tempt to fall in serious disease, so that I could take leave 1 or 2 weeks, perhaps, to get out of place I’m being, to stay and sleep at home and having mum worry and help me to take medicines and stuffs. So that I could stop feeling too much, to take a bit break, to take a step back, not to die in despair. Because I don't want to live my life in vain.

From little bit of everything I've been through, I think, growing up is not that easy.

Twenties Girl

The latest book from Sophie Kinsella. The one I used to mention about in previous post, remember?

Finally it's in my hand right now! Do I make you green with envy now? lolzz kidding!

I love receive books a gift!

Well, I can't believe I would get it. Twenties Girl is the last book I desperately added to my to-find-to-read list. But it's too expensive. Around $20 in paperback. Can you believe it? I've never bought any fiction costs more than $10 for paperback (Though mostly they are second-hands since it's hard to find the new and original copy in Cambodia). But luckily, I didn't pay for that. Ha-ha. Well, it's a big thank for my cousin who bought it for me, less-than-big-thank to Bong Pririth who tried to find and found this book and Bong Thea who helped to find.

BTW, take a fun quiz from Sophie Kinsella's Facebook:

Are you a vintage Twenties girl or a modern Twenties girl

My Result is:

You are a Modern Twenties Girl!

Comment:

You are ambitious and determined, career minded and clever. When charged with a task, you are persistent, and when faced with a problem you are resourceful and creative in finding the solution. Your approach to life may be a bit practical, but you are a hopeless romantic at heart. (Celebrate the publication of TWENTIES GIRL on July 21st by changing your profile picture to this “modern” Twenties Girl image.)

Click on this link if you interest to take this quiz too.

If you have never read one of any from Sophie Kinsella, I would suggest you girls twenties-something to grab one. It's really fun, irrepressible charm and humor to read.

There is nothing more artistic than to truly love people

I've got these painting pictures from Lauren Nicole's blog which I found that is truly inspiring and awesome.

Well then, I have some ready-to-print bookplates to share.

Click here to get big file to to print out and paste on your favorite books.

Also these 3 bookplates, you can get from Helen dardik's site. Click on her name to get big resolution in her site.

When I look at these two-side of faces pictures, which I found at Matte Stephens's blog. I can't help but laugh hard at it. Maybe it reflects so much on me. Like the first one is when I'm in doom and gloom and the second one is the look when I'm at work. Ha-Ha

I really love Helen dardik and Matte Stephens's illustrations. those remind me all my lovely time and activities in bibliothèque at CCF, especially a French-English book which I learned English from.

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I've not yet get those bookplates printed. I'm really lazy to re-install my printer. And also I've not yet get my some selected photos printed to put in album and some to stick on my blue photo's board I bought yesterday, which left in ole car, because I have the car broken down last night somewhere too far from home. My big thank to a brother who came to help me! Whenever I have trouble, not to mention everyone in family, there are only two brothers who work with me who I can think of calling for their help, esp with car and motor broken down. Because I know they will come no matter what.

You know I really love people who have a big heart, who would go out their way to help others! For men, of course, I consider it as something so be called "Gentleman". And I'm trying to make my both younger brothers to have big heart like this. That's what gentlemen do.

So, there is nothing more artistic than to truly love people. And after the verb "to Love," "to Help" is the most beautiful verb in the world.

Word for today is:

A happy life is made up of little things-a gift sent, a letter written, a call made, a recommendation given, transportation provided, a cake made, a book lent, a check sent. - Carol Holmes

10 RANDOM Facts tagged

Nathary tagged me about writing 10 random facts about yourself. So here it goes with my completely 10 random facts about me.

1- First of all, I’m PISCES!
You’ve already known what kind of Pisces is! It’s mostly true. And I’m one of those typical Pisces. Well, not that I know what about me by it. It’s just something about extent my horoscope and personality knowledge. I have a fickle mind and I like randomness. Not like what you can tell from my post. They’re somehow orderly and well thought out. Ha-ha. Well, Pisces like me love TRUST. It’s the best feeling in the world. You know I love it more than precious things.

2- Not a promise keeper!
My youngest brother once said to mum that, “Mum, just forget what she said! Sis never keeps her promise!” It’s a wake-up call realizing that there are many things I’ve promised and not yet made it. How careless I am! Once I promised, I forget. Not that I don’t mean to keep my words. Maybe all you need to do with me is keep following up and remind me, otherwise I just don’t remember. Truly sorry! But I like people who remember and do what they said they will. In which meant, I do hate myself for this point.

3- I don’t study much, no matter how much I love and did great with education.
I was told many times that my English is good enough and then they oohhed and aahhed and some don't believe me when I told them I stopped studying when I almost finished my Pre-Intermediate level 4 or 5 years ago and I work in a field, which doesn’t make sense at all, require at least BA in English, but until now I have not pursued my BA just yet. Reason? Too many to mention! However, giving up my BA can’t be compared with giving up my French more than 10 years ago. Voila, no regret! U know the best moment I missed the most is when I was little and there's nobody picked me at CCF and I had no money to take Cyclo taxi, but luckily, there's an old cyclo guy sent me home by allowing me to pay him back when I reached home. While we were on the way, he taught me French. By then, I told Pa I take his Cyclo everyday and I learned more french words from him everyday.

4- Talking about the bad things I do
I’m a good liar. But not with everyone I love. Not that those who I lie, I hate them or anything, but in life, you have different kind of people right? I don’t care! We lie, because we have no choice. What I meant is I can lie others, but I have big trouble of lying my people, especial everyone in family. However, I’m still not a good liar though. Well, I learned to lie when I was trained to be AE at RD. You know I remember what the best I always could do is when I accidentally answer a landlines call about sth like, for example, payment, I just simply said, “Oh sorry, our accountant is not here!” and if they asked or insist to get accountant’s number, I told them, “Oh sorry again, I’m first day work here and I don’t know anyone’s number! If possible, can I have your name or your phone number? They will return the call back” lolzzz I cheated them. Hmmppphhh

5- Not good at remembering thing
Remember in #2 I’m not a promise keeper? Yes, forgive me for being forgetful like an old lady. I don’t really remember what I’ve seen, what I’ve heard and what I’ve read. Also I’m really not a good secret keeper. I could spill it out any times. That’s why I said I can’t be a good liar in #4. But you know what, when I don’t lie, we don’t need to remember. In short, I need to boost my brain power. Any tips? OR do I need to change the memory card of my brain?

6- I don’t judge the book by cover
I don’t judge people because you never know what they’ve been through that made them become that way. Our life is different and we have different choice. Sometimes I think it’s really funny when people judge me by saying that I have a snobby face, even when I was little, I always have this same old same old comment. Well, I also don’t want people to judge me back too, especially I don’t want people quickly like me. I’d rather let them hate me first.

7- I tend to love old people
That’s because I’m locked in love of Maturity. I like people who are older than me. That’s why I only hang out with sisters and brothers and being away, not growing apart, from my peers. But there’s a thing I wonder though. When I’m with sis and bro, I’m like a immature kid, but when I’m with my peers, I’m completely an old boring woman. I can be two different person? Talking about marriage, I’d love to marry to a guy who is older than me around 9 years up to 12 years old. Well, a guy who is around 30-33. Weird? Because I love and appreciate Maturity. I strongly believe those years they’ve been through made them a man they are (Though not everyone can be mature through their age, I know!).

8- A go-with-the-flow and idealistic kind of person!
I find hard to start what I want to do and what I want. I also find it hard to finish what I start. Because my determination is not strong enough, I guess. Because I don’t like complexity. I’d rather give everything up if the things I’m doing is/become a burden to someone’s life. Because I want to live in comfort and peace. If giving sth up would make everyone relax and happy, I will do it. One thing I’m proud to say that I’m not ambitious. I'm not after fame and success and fortune and power. It's mostly that I want to have a good job, have good friends and good family. That's the good stuff in life. And yes, I have this same thing in mind like Drew Barrymore. If god give me lemon, I would love to do lemonade. I tend to go where life take me to, but I live by what I think is right and believe in what I believe and what I do.

9- Permanent things.
Those things which would remain and last for life. I burst out wanting to do those stuffs like Tattoo and Marriage. Just like Drew B. again. Because I’d love to have my beloved people’s names on my skin. I once asked a brother about his tattoo and I was willing to have a cluster of everyone’s name in family inscribed on somewhere. But it’s too painful just to hear how hard to get tattoo done and all the pros and cons, esp. I’d be considered as a gansta by people. My parents won’t let me do it though. And for marriage, I’m just like everyone. I think it’s beautiful and for life. Once I commit to marry, I don’t want divorce. Well, I tend to be picky when it comes to marriage, that’s why I’m still single. lolzz kidding. I think 21-22 is too young to get married. 28 years old up would be great and fully ready to start this permanent thing and this is what my family don’t want me to wait till that age, and honestly, their advices and reasons are also acceptable. It’s amazed by what my younger brother said, “Woman who is 26, is too old to get married already!” I think It's funny after what he said, but I don't think everyone would have the same mind like him. Okay, leave it to fate. But first thing first, I want to know what it’s like to fall in love, not the feeling I'm being loved. I want to experience this feeling once.

10- Ummm oh right, game!
I don’t like playing card, game and all that’s kind of thing. I don’t even like when I see people play it. I keep myself from playing game though it looks like fun to play, but recently, I’m addicted online game in Facebook, which is Farm Town. I’m really addicted to it. I go to check once in 3 days or so (depends on what seeds I plant) or I just hire some people in Market Place to harvest and plow and plant my farm again (They earn more coins by being hired). If you interested, click it here... or add me in your Facebook and we can be neighbor to build our farm town. lolz But if you don't want to be hooked to it, don't try it. lolz

Sorry for writing this long. It’s random written anyway. Okay, I always write things very long like this. No complaint will be accepted! teehee

Btw, I tag:

1- B. Rana

2- B. Any

3- B. Phirith

4- Jessyca

5- Anita

6- Kelly

I also tag everyone who read my posts and those who are in my BlogIread list.

Art of Losing

The art of losing isn't hard to master; so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster of lost door keys, the hour badly spent. The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster; places, and names, and where it was you meant to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or next-to-last, of three loved houses went. The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster, some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent. I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.



--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident. The art of losing's not too hard to master though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

“One Art”
from The Complete Poems 1927-1979,
by Elizabeth Bishop,
which I got from a book called,
“The Girls’ Guide to Hunting and Fishing”

After finishing Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing book along with this poem last night, I become obsessed with it. That's because of the conversation with Pa yesterday about his regret of losing big sum of money and about how he gets so weary with life and wondering how we can live our life better. This great deal of money might appear as a small amount for others, but not for us, we worked and have to work hard for that. At every turn, there’s a wee little thing I’m glad about. Because it gave me chance to give a hand for family and chance to change myself for someone a bit more mature than I was.

Yes, losing is not too hard to master and I learned NOT TO regret. Because there are something to be said not to regret on what's lost is lost! Be strong. That's how I do it. Being a vulnerable type with a cover of laid-back character and being surrounded by people I love who is unable to let things go, I can't be vulnerable. I realized that the habit of acting laid-back did a great deal of help in developing myself for a bit better and a bit more mature. At least, when it comes to the term of losing, I’ve deliberately learned not to regret.

I used to lose money, times, chances, courage, people etc... I used to lose something small which is not too hard to get over and I used to lose something big which is not easy to forget. But there’s three major things I used to lose and I don’t want to lose anymore. It's about losing myself, hope and people I love.

Art of losing is not too hard to master, though it may look like disaster! Because the older you are, the greater the number of life lessons you will have under your belt, and the more resourceful and confident you will become about accepting new challenges.

So finally I don't need to wait for Siem Reap to visit me!

It's been three years I've never visited Siem Reap. Last two week, I have gone there for new project related to RD work, which is not a part of my works, but I'm allowed to go there. At least, I know a lot things and have a lot of fun from this short work trip.

I've seen that Siem Reap has changed a lot, but I neither couldn't take proper pictures in town nor in every temples since we've only had 1-2 hours to eat ice-cream at Blue Pumpkin and take a quick go-around some temples after breakfast at hotel. At night, since we were too exhausted and too sleepy to go around, so we just took a very quick peek at Night Market and Pub Street.

Not only Siem Reap, but we had chance to go, no, to see how Svay Sisophon and PoiPet look like, though we didn't stop and take pictures around nor go inside the border of Khmer-Thai, and though we had to stick in one place, where was so boring. Well, we were not there for vacation trip, remember?

On the first evening there, we went to see the last big show of Jayavarman 7 at Cambodian Cultural Village in order to capture the stage decoration.

Taken at Lean Jol Domrey Temple, which is the only temple we had chance to take pictures.

For lunch, there's no any restaurant around unless we drive to more kilometers to the PoiPet, so we ate those meatballs and sausages. This seller made a great fortune by selling almost out of stock for us! Ha-ha

Taken at Preah Ang Chek Preh Ang Chorm and Yeay Tep.

View more photos by clicking here !