I tend to think what we learn and how we become another person is the bit about going through something everyday. More-than-tired of not being able to overcome stacked-up things in mind, which are cryptically accumulated and leave me in limbo state, but still trying to appear as normal as possible. Life in limbo is not fun at all. This can be easily leads something unpleasant like boredom, frustration, feeling of edgy and despair. Despair!
From little bit of everything which have been through, little bit of everything in Past, little bit of uncertain things which desperately expect from Tomorrow and being here in the Now moment seeking an alternation to life in limbo. And I’m waiting for a point-arrow to show me the best way to go OR if i could have a magic compass, perhaps?
I get to think about the life-graphic Dad once mentioned about. The more I think of it, the more I'm worried. And lately, I often turn up thinking over and over again about the past. I've been rejected from what I've sacrificed for and I've blown off every opportunity that come to my way just to wait for my wanted one in quite a milestone, to be where I want to be, to get out of where I am, to make up all the things I've given up just to be here. IF only there's any warning sign to let me know if it’s not worth for waiting al all? So then, I wouldn’t wait anymore. So then I could make direction changed.
As much as I despair of what I’m waiting, as much as I’m getting sick with people, as much as I’m getting sick with this sickening-spot I’m in, I have a sudden roar-hit and tempt to fall in serious disease, so that I could take leave 1 or 2 weeks, perhaps, to get out of place I’m being, to stay and sleep at home and having mum worry and help me to take medicines and stuffs. So that I could stop feeling too much, to take a bit break, to take a step back, not to die in despair. Because I don't want to live my life in vain.
From little bit of everything I've been through, I think, growing up is not that easy.
From little bit of everything which have been through, little bit of everything in Past, little bit of uncertain things which desperately expect from Tomorrow and being here in the Now moment seeking an alternation to life in limbo. And I’m waiting for a point-arrow to show me the best way to go OR if i could have a magic compass, perhaps?
I get to think about the life-graphic Dad once mentioned about. The more I think of it, the more I'm worried. And lately, I often turn up thinking over and over again about the past. I've been rejected from what I've sacrificed for and I've blown off every opportunity that come to my way just to wait for my wanted one in quite a milestone, to be where I want to be, to get out of where I am, to make up all the things I've given up just to be here. IF only there's any warning sign to let me know if it’s not worth for waiting al all? So then, I wouldn’t wait anymore. So then I could make direction changed.
As much as I despair of what I’m waiting, as much as I’m getting sick with people, as much as I’m getting sick with this sickening-spot I’m in, I have a sudden roar-hit and tempt to fall in serious disease, so that I could take leave 1 or 2 weeks, perhaps, to get out of place I’m being, to stay and sleep at home and having mum worry and help me to take medicines and stuffs. So that I could stop feeling too much, to take a bit break, to take a step back, not to die in despair. Because I don't want to live my life in vain.
From little bit of everything I've been through, I think, growing up is not that easy.
7 comments:
U're worried a lot about ur future life, ain't u? Anyway problems never rest, but people do! It's tiring, keeping worry, I might worry more than my peers, but what I get from it is just as well nothing as my peers, so I know sometimes life isn't at all nasty, it just seems to be so.
Do u remember how Buddha achieved ten perfections after trying so hard for so long? The string broke when we tighten it up too tight, but came loose when we loosen up too loose.
U and I should apply this to our real situation, so we're secured that our life is right as long as we are right. I hope u're always fine.
What human are thinking is all about life, life and life.
Problems and obstacles are coming one after one, never ends. I am in your shoes now, too; but only different kind of problems.
Wondering how my future will be, what postgraduate should I go for after finishing my Diploma level. What a sigh!
Though I do not know what have been happening around you, but I will stay still and supporting you no matter how. =)
Cheers!
I have to admit that I do. Ppl might see me as a carefree one, but they might got it wrong. Sometimes I just cast all my nervous and worries aside and stop being broody and think about my priorities instead.
Thank Nathary for reminding me about Buddha. I should have thought about it.
Thank Jesyca, well you point it right. It's about life life life which I forgot about. Maybe my nervousness run up too high.
Ha-ha! Finally I heart your words with sound!
Wow, I can't believe I did call you, I meant it was such an instant impulsion! U know...
At first I thought it wasn't you who answered the phone, coz I had never heard your voice, it's always been my imaginary voice for you, and it surprised me to hear ur speaking [in a good way].
btw, I hope u didn't freak out, coz I wasn't going to plan what I've said that day...That's silly, when I'm nervous I laughed like a retard. Okay, u heard me, right?
I hope we can meet.
Hahaha I can tell that you were nervous. But I couldn't hep not to be nervous too. lolzz I was speaking in good way cuz I was thinkin one of any client. lolzz I was stucked too on that day. I meant I try to explain but can't say things properly. lolzzz
Gotcha! U did nervous too! It's comforting to know that, so I'm the only one. Lalalala...
But, you mostly have clients to call u on personal number? Oooh, u must have a lot of them then!
Anyway, how about our first date? It's okay, if you can't. I don't mind it. But my bestie is going away next week, I'm only hopping if I can meet u better while I still have my best friend to back me up [whow, I make it sounds like we're going on a gang fightor sth!] Teehee...
Not much my dear. Just some. I'm not involved in sale field. I just deal with their calls and emails about their Ads they put. U know like changing layouts and stuffs.
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