Magic 9

 

We have been a great team, equal partner.

We have been our own cheerleaders, each other comfort, best friend, trusted confidant, listening piece and clown, each other I-drive-you-hold-the-map-or-vice-versa, but most of all, each other center, love, strength, singular support system, and priority. 

I can't wait to start our long-time-carefully-planned life 3.0.

2022 is our year.

I love you and yes, I know you love me more and most.

Oun.

On milestones, path to find strength, self-confidence and create my own person.

Truth to be told, I wasn't expecting to feel like such a milestone and to have created ultimate self-confidence and my own person. Sometimes it's all about perspective. And sometime, your spouse, the universe, family or friends, or even people you just acquainted with remind you of that fact. 

I guess it should have dawned on me before, but it took me some good and few bad years to really landed on me. You see, when you are in the thick, and sometimes thin, of things, it's difficult to see outside of the moment. Imagine pushing a boulder uphill. It's rare to even get a moment to stop and think about the distance you've travelled (unless you want to lose momentum and risk being crushed by that boulder.) Pictures of myself years ago feel like distant memories with all of that unravelled in between, let alone my childhood up to a quarter of one hundred year old. I feel like I don't recognize that anymore. I feel like from 2013 up until now are the only time I feel like I'm in a complete control of every inch of my life and to actually feel like I've been living life to the fullest and one hundred percent of how I want to lead, to create my own version. … to have found my own person. All of that happened not to be defined by where I came from, my background, family, culture, tradition or any social status. Zero. And that's when I know I truly am my own person and I am so free... free from all the unnecessary obligations outside myself.

I started my new life here in a new land at the same time as the building of my own, and very new relationship/marriage/partnership. A tumulus time any new couple, let alone the bonus uncertainty of starting over at a place I was a complete stranger to. Nobody could understand it's been a hard work. When I speak of hard work, this was the hardest of work. the quiet, internal works and sometimes not-so-quiet and external works. The work of discovering the lengths and strengths of my commitment, not just to my beautiful sacred marriage, but also to myself as my own individual, our dream, our visions, our goals, and at the same time, mine. Could we do it? Could we do it together? Could I do it all alone? And I think most of time, we have been doing it alone… together. And I'm still in awe how we both navigate and coordinate everything things individually but also together.

When I say that I wasn't expecting that I've accomplished quite milestones, I was underestimating the impact of actualization. During the pandemic and upon my graduation in December 2020, the overall self-confidence, and self-actualization hit me good and from that point on, I'm fully onto another phase of becoming into a person I was striving to become. Self-confidence is one of the most accomplishments I'm most proud of. It is not something you build overnight, or something you rely upon (materials; social status, family, background... etc), but it's something that you proudly wear, it's the courage, the attitude of knowing your worth, knowing your capability, not willing to compromise or negotiate for anything less than you are worth for... the attitude of walking into a store, but not feeling like you owe it, but own it (not in a rude way though)… kind of confidence. 

For the first time of my life, I can stop and to actually be proud of myself for doing all the necessary works  for 9 years alone in order to grow into a person (and there are many more for years to come!) I can be really proud of and have made some positive impacts along the way. When you really live like you don't have a safety net to fall into, you live and build the confidence that comes from your only strength, not from all the fluffs (materials, social status, approval from others… you name it.) Because when you strip off all the things of you, what is left of you, ask yourself, can you still be proud of yourself? Can you still and truly survive on your very own? Can you be confident with yourself when it's all taken away from you? Can you stand alone? Can you truly stand alone knowing that nobody is going to catch you when you fall and you don't want anybody to catch you when you fall? Can you lay your own ground, your own foundation knowing that you don't want to rely on anyone, or any social connection you may have, so that you can catch yourself when you fall instead? Can you?

The only way you can do all of that yourself, you have to do a lot of necessary works by yourself to earn that kind of strength and self-confidence and create your very own person.

Meet our sweet baby girl, Lucy!

Lucy is our sweet baby girl with golden/white color and has the same beautiful marks like Finn: White booties, white bib, white neckline, white tip tail, plus one cute white dipped-paint ear and a tiny nose. While Finn has one brown eye and one blue eye (I know, being a pure breed himself, it's insane), Lucy has brown and almost hazel eyes. Lucy was born on March, 23rd to a litter of Finn's mother. 

I jumped the gun and talked to my husband that getting our second pup now is probably a good time rather than later. He seconded that and I let the breeder know that I will drive the next day for 2 hours and a half see the litter and their temperament only to learn that the litter is from the same mother of Finn. After hours of playing with the litter, I ended up choosing Lucy. Because like Finn, she's hiding away from me and she has most Finn's characteristics. 

Upon her arrival to her new permanent home, we introduced her to Finn with her being in the crate first. She's dramatically scared of Finn. Finn, on the other hand, was so happy to see a puppy. The first night, I slept downstair with her knowing that she's scared for being away from her littermate for the first time and plus, I needed to take her out for potty every 2 hours. During the first few nights, every time I took her out, Finn came along. Finn and I didn't get much sleep and we both were groggy during the day. You see, that is my companion right there, my boy Finnegan. 😂 After the first new nights, Lucy didn’t cry anymore and she slept longer without the need to go potty. We let her sleep upstair with us but in the crate and I only need to take her out 2 times during the night and gradual to one time and now being at only 4 months, she graduated from sleeping in the crate to sleeping in her bed. 

Lucy has been doing so great at her training. She picked up things quickly. And I think, for one, because she has personality of wanting to please while Finn, on the other hand, wants to do things on his term. Secondly she has Finn to guide her in term of house rules, so she just follows what Finn does and sometimes if she does anything that Finn knows she's not supposed to, Finn would yell at her. Haha. For example, Lucy jumped on our bed and I put her down and told her, 'No jumping on bed!' She tried again and again. After the 3rd attempt, Finn yelled at her trying to tell her, 'Don't you hear Mama say, no jumping? Bed is off limit.' She stopped and went to sulk under the bed. Haha. 

Having Lucy with us made me realized how much Finn has changed so much overnight into a more mature dog and how closed I am with him. Finn and I have created a special canine bond that nobody would understand. Because if you don't have a dog or if you have dog but you just treat them as pet, you won't experience an unspoken deeper connection with your canine companion. We treat them like family members and I can't wait to create a special bond with Miss Lucy. The special bond with our canine, just like human relationship, come from care; attention; training; disciplines; adventures and all the things you do with them. My husband doesn't have that connection with them like I do because he doesn't personally train and discipline them other than feeding them when I'm at work and spoiling them with foods and treats. 

Why FINNEGAN (FINN)? Because husband likes a novel by Mark Twain, The Adventure of Huckleberry Finn. I like Finnegan, an Irish name, for that it's a very sweet name and it means, 'Fair' in term of complexion which is the opposite of his complexion. Haha. I might go with Huckle, but Finn doesn't look Huckle at all!

Why LUCY? Because husband likes Lucy in comic strip Peanuts who has a slight crush on Charlie Brown and I like it because I joked with husband a lot that he keeps calling our neighbor dog, Lucy, when her name is Judy. Now he can get his own Lucy, which he's usually call her, Lu.

Class of 2020: Summa Cum Laude (4.0)

It marked the most remarkable time of my life, a great personal reminder of what I'm capable of doing when true grit, strong determination and thinking skills are applied.

Classes that I found the most challenging but the most rewarding are PSY240 Critical Thinking, SCI212 Nutritional Science and SCI250 Microbiology. Those classes offered more than they did and shifted the way I think going forward. I’m looking forward to never stop pursuing higher learning even in my older age. 

Almost 6 months old Finnegan

It has been 3 months since I last wrote about welcoming Finn in our life. When we first got him, he was at 8.2 lbs, and at his last vet visit at 18 weeks, he was 18 lbs. He's almost 6 months now, I haven't weighted him yet, but I'm pretty sure he's somewhere around 22+ lbs.

Socialization during the quarantine has been hard. I couldn't get him into puppy class, but I managed to get personal trainer to train us at home. I'm happier with his second trainer. She’s also a groomer and provides other services like daycare. Every week, I drove him for his training session or some weeks, she picked him up to go play with other dogs. I didn't care too much about training, but more of socialization with other dogs and people, so that Finn can grow into a confident dog. 

After few sessions of socialization, he doesn't bark at our neighbors and their dogs during our walk much. He still barks here and there, but will listen 70% of the time when I tell him "no bark." He was bred to be a herding and guard dog during the ancient time, therefore, I don't expect him to not bark at all.

Leash training was challenging, and I definitely don't want to use harsh training. His trainer introduced me to chain collar for leash training. I practiced with him everyday for a week, but he kept pulling and distracted by different smell, sight and sound and I don't want to hurt his trachea. I meant he's just puppy who needs to get used to his environment. Everything is still new to him. So I decided to use retractable leash, because I want him to smell, hear and see as much as he can, then I can work with disciplined walk with him later. After a week of not using his training leash, he started walking nicely on leash on his own. I don't expect him to walk by side automatically when I command "heel" but he doesn't pull his leash much anymore and always keep walking forward during our walk. I'm very happy about that. The best part of our everyday activity is to go on our walk. He gets excited when I say, “Finn, Are you ready for our walk?” and start getting his leash and potty bags pouch. He knows our routine!

As far as his house training goes, as soon as he's 5 months old, he only has 1 accident inside the house. Housebreaking will take a long time. So I give him another 6 months. Other than that, he knows how to hold it longer before his next potty trip outside. I introduced him potty bell hanging by the door, but he's scared of the sound, so I switched to smart door bell. But he's still scared to ring his door bell. I haven't given up on it yet. I keep pressing the door bell, and say "Go potty!" before I open the door and let him out, hopefully one day, he will press the bell to let me know he needs to go potty outside. 

Finn recognized me as his pack leader since he’s young and he grows closer to me like a child to his mother. Every morning, he would sit by the stair and wait for me to come down. He's always excited to see when I come home that he peed himself sometimes, and his tail almost comes loose from all the excitements. He's still teething and all his adult teeth are coming out and he can't help but nipping us sometimes especially when he's excited. He knows that we don't like it when he bites, so he always grabs his toy to prevent him from nipping us. My heart melts every time he does that.

Finn and I have special bond. He always follows me around, even to the bathroom. 😂
He would wait for me at the bathroom door! When I work on my computer downstair, he would come and be around me, then go back and then come and check on me again. I allow access to almost every rooms in the house, except upstair. As soon as he's adult or perhaps at 1 year old, we'll open the whole house for him and he doesn't have to sleep in his crate inside his playpen anymore.

Finn is very vocal. He makes us laugh every time he's mumbling about something or huffing by himself. He would let us know when he doesn't agree with us. 😂

Finn is also sensitive and responds only to nice and calm words and praise. Therefore, being patient is key in order to train him while maintain our pack relationship. It tooks me sometimes, but it's worth it. For example, when I need to clean his paws, and he wouldn't let me. Instead of pushing him, I would praise him calmly and gently say "Good boy, Finn!" then he would let me.

I'm very happy when he only responds to calm and nice words. Because I don't respond well to "force" either and I definitely don't respond well to tension and stress from harsh tone or frustration. Of course, there are times that he's looking for trouble and he doesn't listen when I tell him no. But after 3 times, I would put him in timeout. For example, if he jumps on the chair and try to get something, or chew something that he shouldn't, I would say, "nah uh!” and if he doesn't back off, I would calmly put him out of the room and would let him in again in 5 minutes. Timeout works so well with him, because all he wants is to be around me. But at 5 months of age, he's been soooo good. He's never been in timeout quite a while now. 😂

It's pretty weird to say that Finn has helped me getting to know the part that I didn't know before, perhaps he is bringing the best out of me. I never thought I'm an animal lover, but I am. I get to see my mother instinct kicking in. He makes me know what I'm capable and not capable of when it comes to being a mother in the future. If anything, he helps me recognize the patience I have, and help my husband realized that he needs to work on that when he becomes a dad! 😂

Finn definitely tests our limit! He challenges us everyday. His trainer said, he's not like any other dog. He's more like a little kid. He has his mood, his own mind, sensitive, get upset and throwing tantrum like little human does! She's right! I don't expect him to behave like other dog. I see him as my child and helpfully when he's adult, he behaves like a big boy should!

I don't like being cuddled and nor does Finn. I know I love cuddle with my husband but definitely not with anybody else and most definitely not with animal, but Finn and I love our cuddle sessions and I make sure he gets one in the morning and before bed.

His favorite spot is our living room. I'm not sure why. But if we don't see him around kitchen or dining room, we can be sure that he'll be on the sofa chilling with his bones or looking out the windows. Hehe. He likes family room too, which is the room he sleeps every night in his playpen. But in family room, I have too many pillows that make him thinks they are also his toys. 😂

Finn has been a great addition in my life, probably our family life. He makes us laugh everyday with his clumsiness, quirkiness, and sometimes stubbornness. His sense of humor has brightened up our days. He's a lot of works, but he's a family and a great companion that I never thought I need in my life. I love you, my goofy ball!

Check Finn's instagram for his puppyhood journey: tibetanterrierfinn

Meet my pup, Finnegan.

Almost 2 weeks ago, we brought home our little pup named Finnegan. He's a Tibetan Terrier, a ball of energy who always wants to play, and would sit for treats. Finnegan has been a joy to our family.

Finn was born on 12/23/2019 and I visited him at 6 weeks old. I went back to collect him at 8 weeks old. During our 2 hours and a half car ride home, he slept on my arm the whole trip.

Why Tibetan Terrier?

My husband and I always wanted a dog. But we also knew it requires a lot of times and works from our part if we want to raise a good behaving companion dog. Now, we are at the point of our life that we are ready for a pup.

Purebred in Tibet

This breed originated in Tibet over 2000 years ago and were bred to be companions for the monastery monks of Tibet. Dalai Lama also owned one himself. Tibet holds a special place in my husband's heart since his last visit. He brought home quite a few ancient items from Tibet monk. Therefore, knowing this dog breed is from Tibet, we have to dig further and boy, do we love everything about Tibetan Terrier.

Tibetan Terrier was gifted by monks to the locals and herdsmen of Tibet. Just like monks, Tibetans treated these dogs with the highest respect, almost like children. They were known as "The Little People" because of his unique personality similar to human. 

Personality

Finnegan proved us that he has a true Tibetan Terrier personality. Our Finn is very loving, very intelligent but he also has his own agenda and very treats motivated. Finn is also very observing. He likes to sit and observe when he encounters something new, like wind blow, bird chipping or squirrel playing.

Size, Agility & Coat

The Tibetan Terrier is a medium sized dog with a great disposition. Being a medium size dog, Finnegan will grow to 14"-16" tall and weigh about 25-30 lbs, which my husband and I find that is perfect size. Not too small, like toy dogs, and not too big that requires a lot of energy from our part.

He has a thick double hypoallergenic coat. Which meant he doesn't shed and doesn't have a strong dog smell. His coat is like human hair, soft and shiny. Even though, Tibetan Terrier has a beautiful Pantene lock and categorized in non-sporting group, Tibetan Terrier is very strong, athletic and agile. 

Their other uniqueness is their flat feet that have a snowshoe-like look. We plan to do more outdoor activities like walkings and trail hiking but we also want to just cuddle and lie around the house too, and Tibetan Terrier is perfect for that. He's very flexible and attuned to their owner, and overtime, they are proven to reflect their owner's personalities.

Finding Tibetan Terrier

Finding Tibetan Terrier is hard. Although it's a Kennel Club's best kept secret, people are drawn to different type of dogs breed. In my opinion, people look for dog in regard to trend. Tibetan Terrier has a personality similar to human, which mean at time, he has his own mind. Therefore this breed is not the center of attraction to most people in term of obedience. 

My husband and I want to adopt dog from shelter because there are many dogs that need a home. But we want only Tibetan Terrier. I looked around the shelters, there are none Tibetan Terrier for the rescue within radius of 200-100 miles from us. 

So we decided to look for a breeder instead. Most breeders are far in other states, and none of them have puppies available. One morning in November, I got email from a breeder in central Virginia that one of her girl might be pregnant. She's been breeder for more than 20 years and she's been to world' AKC show competitions. All of her dogs and litters are registered with AKC. It proves that she breed with integrity and it guarantees we will get healthy, purebred Tibetan Terrier. In order to bring puppy home, we have to fill out contract form to make sure she gives us a good puppy according to the AKC standard and as a owner, I know how to raise puppy and Finnegan will always bears Ivy Gables and AKC registration. 

Check here for IVYGABLES information.

Life with Finnegan after almost 2 weeks!

We struggled the first 3 nights. He barked and cried all night. I guess we all have to adjust to the new environment. After going to the vet on his 2nd day home, his doctor reassure that he will come out of his shell. He needs to get to know us and get used to his new home.

His vet was right. On his 4th day home, his tail wagging when he saw us and he let us sleep on the 4th night without weeping. It has been almost 2 week, Finn constantly wants our attention and wants us to play with him, give him teats and belly rub.

As far as potty training goes, we still struggle, but it is normal for puppy. We keep give him his favorite treats lavishly when he does his business outside. We keep training as positive as possible. I still consistently train him to listen to my command everyday before I'm out of the door and at night before we go to bed. Finn is very treats motivated which make training a lot easier! Finn's treats are variety just like our junk foods. lol. 

For his crating training, I got him to stay in the crate but I don't close the door. He's so behaving that I don't think he needs his crate. I keep his crate inside his playpen along with his bed, water bowl and chew toys. When he's up from his nap, I let him access in the kitchen only. Until his bladder is big enough to hold for 8 hours and his potty training is on point, I will give him access to other rooms. 

I can't wait to start puppy kindergarten and obedience class with Finn as soon as he has his 2nd vaccination, so that he will be well-trained and become a well-behaving pooch. I will be starting my externship program next month before my graduation too, so I won't be home as much, but I will definitely make the most of our time for his training.

Finn is almost 10 weeks old, which mean he's 2 years old in human years. But he's growing bigger in a fast rate everyday. As a puppy owner, it's fascinating to learn to look from dog's view. 

Morning observation.. cold wind blow and I really want to go out in the yard.

Finn first day outside up the front. He found the road fascinating that he has to sit and observe for a while.

Finn saw a couple walking their dog. His curiosity soared high.

The athletic and agility look of Finnegan! Finn has one blue eye and one green-brown-ish!

Finnegan has a very beautiful soft black and white shiny lock! 

 For more breed information, please check out AKC/Tibetan Terrier & Primitive Dogs

I wouldn't think that Finnegan stole my heart in just a week. He's a lot of works for sure. But all puppies are a of works. It's like raising a baby, but you raise him to be your companion, not your children. My house currently is in a less desired state. It's hard for someone like me who likes things in neat, clean and order. With Finn as a puppy as he is, he requires constant supervision, but I know he's worth all my time and attention and it's a rewarding experience.

"I will be anywhere my mum is."

"Dear Finnegan, you may most of time drive me nuts - when you run wild in the yard and like to dirt yourself in the bushes, wet your paw in your pee, becomes hyper when you're full of energy and then you're bored with your toys too quickly, but you have brighten up my days so far with your quirkinesses, your tail wagging when I come home, run after me when I leave the door, laying around at my feet when I work on my computer, and that you would sit when you try to tell us you want treats! Buddy, you're mischievous but I'm amazed with your intelligence!"

Follow Finnegan's Instagram: tibetanterrierfinn

2020

Phew, didn't I just have a long run from 2015? 

It's hard to keep up with what you used to love doing when you have LIFE to do. 

But here I am, discovering and reactivating my old blog when my priority right now is to get started on one of paper for my psychology class. Writing used to be really fun for me. Oh, how I miss it! But writing for work and school is a whole different story. 

Right now I'm just having a writing block for one of this week papers. Every time I'm putting my "critical thinking" cap on, I feel like I'm pulling my hair out. I mean, I should be able to finish this paper by today. Watching Neil deGrass Tyson's class on MasterClass about "Scientific Thinking" should help me a ton with this paper. 

Psychology and Science classes are hard and although I feel like I must be crazy to choose these hard classes, but I know I made the right decision, because I need it. Certainly these classes make me feel like I grow 10 years older.

Anyway, I refuse to sit at my study downstair, I prefer sitting in between kitchen and family room so that I can appreciate sunlight and my green plants all day long. Don't be fool by sunlight. The gusty wind is probably 30 mph and the temp is 29F. Couldn't get any colder than that. 

Here you go, first post of a decade is about complaining how hard my classes are and deep down inside, I'm wishing that it doesn't ruin my perfect GPA.